Session #301: Wendi Friesen on How to Be Memorable

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This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 301. Wendy Friesen on how to be memorable. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette. Let’s go ahead and call this out right now that there’s probably two different audiences that are about to listen to the rest of this program.

One part of. Are my people, the people who’ve already been listening to and subscribing to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast for a number of years. We’ve previously put out 300 episodes, and here we are, episode 3 0 1. Then again, there might be some of you that are brand new to this program, in which case.

Welcome, and I wanna let you in on a little bit of a behind the scenes before I set up this week’s guest. The fact that last week was episode number 300, and I’ll tell you, I had a little bit of stress in the back of my head going, What do you do for episode number 300 and even bigger? Was the question of how do you follow that up?

Where do you then go next in terms of episode number 301? And I’ll tell all of you. One person came to mind that honestly, up until the conversation you’re about to listen to, I had never had a single in person or even digital interaction with other than like a quick Facebook message. Other than commenting on each other’s posts, you’re about to hear the first interaction because here’s the story in my head.

A lot of us first got interested in hypnosis, or even like our clients first interacted with hypnosis. Because of seeing a stage hypnosis show. That was my story. Someone came to my college, did a program. I thought it was interest. Interesting, and I picked up a few books and started to learn and find out there was this other side of it.

But then again, a lot of our clients, they may have that story, but they also might have a very different story that there’s a number of names. People who are as close as we could get to celebrities in the hypnotic profession, which let’s put some of these names out there. People like Paul McKenna, people like Steve g Jones, maybe to some effect in terms of some of what he does, uh, Tony Robbins, as well as people like my guest this week.

Wendy Friesen, who have sold millions of units of programs all around the world, have been all over media. And as I mentioned, halfway through this conversation with Wendy, I’ve had clients who came in and listen carefully. It wasn’t the dialogue that I got her program and it didn’t work, so now I’m coming to you.

No, they had an amazing experience and fill in any of these names that I’ve referenced. They’ve had an amazing experience with someone else’s program. And then they decided the next go round for another. Let me work with someone one to one. So the ability that any of us have from as Wendy’s stories, it becomes a chance encounter where suddenly now, here comes a passion, Here comes a mission to serve even more people and do things at times a little bit differently.

Yes, she does tell a story about shipping out boxes that were purple. And for any of you who have been to the Work Smart Hypnosis website, you might see where that’s part of my favorite story, as well as working with some provocative issues, which listen carefully because one of the very next things she says, after she gives commentary around breast enhancement, hypnosis, penis enlargement, hypnosis, suddenly then referencing the research that talks about what may be possible with.

Which wow, . So you’re gonna hear an incredible conversation talking about a chance encounter from reading something in a paper to suddenly reaching out. And what I love about the story is not just the fact that her training immediately began with a journey of learning a little bit of everything from as many people as possible, but from an instructor that began with a place.

You can’t afford this yet. Just come in. Here’s something I’ll just share with you where we talk about a free resource that Wendy has on her website the same way you’re listening to a free podcast that I’ve been putting out now for nearly seven years. The business model of give, give, give, give, get.

Clearly works and clearly comes from a place of passion, and we’re gonna debunk all sorts of things in terms of where online sessions and at home audio recordings can go beyond just the stereotypes of direct suggestion and non customized experiences, which is not a word. But it sure makes sense that it ought to be, There’s a lot of stuff here, some incredible inspirational stories, and I’m so happy to share this episode with you as number 301, which if you head over to the show [email protected], that’s where you can find more about Wendy’s work and find out how to directly interact with her and find out more about upcoming events and upcoming online educational programs.

And while you’re there too, check out my other podcast. Hypnotic language hacks. You know, your business can change people’s lives, but you don’t yet have the right words to inspire them to take action. The Hypnotic Language Hacks podcast launched about a month ago, and at the time of this release, were probably not even up to episode number 20.

And here I am on this show with episode number 301, but I’d encourage all of you, if you have a business, if you’re an entrepreneur, if you’re thinking of either starting up or even scaling up in any way, that’s where I peel back the curtain and reveal the secrets of hypnotic influence. And directly how it applies to business.

So check that out. Anywhere you can find podcast, do a search, hypnotic language hacks. Make sure you subscribe right away. And with that, I am so excited to share this with you. Episode number 301, Wendy Friesen. On. Yes, indeed. How to be memorable? I had a tanning salon and my lease was up and I didn’t have anyone to take it over, so I was closing it.

And on that last day I was reading the Sacramento B and I was looking at the classifieds, which I never do, and it’s really odd that I was just kind of glancing over the classifieds in the back of the paper, if anybody remembers those . Yeah. There was an ad, a tiny little ad for a hypnotherapy school in Sacramento, and I didn’t know really what hypnotherapy was at all, and I had no interest in it.

And I called them up and they said, it starts tonight and it’s, I think it was five months long. Four, four full days a week. And they said, You can come tonight for free. And so I did. Now, the really difficult part is I was so broke because my business had done okay, but I had some debt and I owed taxes and all this stuff.

So I went down there and I was there for the first night and I didn’t have the, I think it was $4,000 to take the class. She said, Just keep coming. You can, you know, you can pay me over time, whatever you wanna do. And it turns out, Jason, that this is what I was made for. I was fascinated from day one and I had phenomenal experiences for myself.

We got to do so much work with each other, with the students and everything, and it was, it was such a great long term training that. Fell in love with it and I knew I’d found my thing. If you can kind of isolate what it was about it that you were drawn to immediately other than just, Hey, here’s something interesting.

Let me see what this is. But even going inside of that initial training, what was that aspect of it? Do you think that. Made it stand out to you so much? Hardly it was because this woman brought in some different trainers, so she brought in the Nick Lacrosse, I think was his name, and he did NLP training with us for several days, and she brought in someone else who does medical hypnosis and just learning all the possible things you can do with this was fascinating to me because I’ve always felt like people come to me for help and I don’t, you know, I don’t know what to say, but I just say nice words and , and hopefully they feel better.

But then Terrence Watts in England, I started reading some of his scripts and his work and he’s amazing. I learned so much from his work along the way. So it was just, it was a combination of all those things and seeing that there’s some experts in the field. I love that aspect of bringing in other trainers, and I think that’s something that when you meet some of the more successful people in this industry, it’s the people that you start to realize that they didn’t just follow one specific school of thought.

It was that intention of learning different styles, different approaches. Because it’s a matter of who’s in front of you and how do we customize to them. Right? Yeah. And so unique and a lot of the people now getting into, well, getting into hypnosis, when I was, And you were, there’s a lot of really brilliant people.

There’s a lot of young people where I, I really like to say this, that hypnosis really was a profession of funny old men. Mm-hmm. , and it was a men’s club. . Yeah. Yeah. And at the, uh, ngh I spoke there, I think it was probably 1995 or 96. A friend of mine who was on the board, he said, You got the most votes for Speaker of the Year and next year they’re not gonna give you the award.

I just wanna tell you that because they will not let a woman have that award. And that is a true story that they did not give me the award. So even though people voted me, they wouldn’t do it cuz they were so against women and that was the funny old man part. Hypnosis, but now it’s brilliant people innovating things like Nick, when he was doing the NLP training, he showed us how to do a walking timeline so that your client is actually standing up, walking and they’re going through these particular areas of their past, stepping off of it, stepping back on and adding the physicality to it, and it was really quite amazing.

I love that as part of the topic of that about getting up and getting the client moving, that people often ask about what do you do if the client doesn’t seem to be responding to what you’re doing? And my, my answer is always of bring them back into the work. Have them stand up, do a segment standing, have them move this ability to kind of move around.

And we’re gonna jump around inside of this conversation because here you are nowadays known as somebody who’s put out hundreds. Of programs. So let’s talk about, I, I’ll give you a filter to this that I put on it first. Mm-hmm. , which is that I say we should never go, I can’t do that in this format. So we can’t be there with the client and have them physically move around if it’s an audio program.

Mm-hmm. . But instead ask the question of what can I do better given this format? So, so talk with me about, and we’ll get around to that transition in terms of your business around how so much of it has gone online and digital. But talk to me about how you approach, let’s say, the audio program, something customized for the client that you never see, you never speak to.

They just purchase on their own on a. Yeah. Yeah. And I do tend to offer for people who reach out, I offer that I’m glad to answer questions or if they wanna share what happened in their session. The, a lot of the programs are, they’re not just direct suggestion hypnosis, they’re actually using the hypnotherapy for the people to get their own answers.

So if someone was in the chair in my office, and I’m having them go back in time to where they first felt that feeling, the one that they know so well, and then I ask them, You know, what is that? Uh, how old are you? Who are you with? Or are you alone in the recording? It does the same thing and gives them room to get their answers and to experience it, and I’m also very careful to make sure that they’re not going to have any difficult, negative reactions so that they’re disassociated from it.

They can still interact in that memory, but be disassociated in a way that they’re not going to lose their shit. You know, , which can happen. Professional terminology. Yes, . Exactly. That’s one of our terms. And then like going into the future, and I have so many different methods that I use, but they’re all interactive in the recording.

So if they go into the future, like a year in the future when you’re no longer struggling with alcohol or drugs or whatever it is, and experiencing yourself there and I’m asking them questions. What is the best thing about this feeling right now? That you know that you are so healthy and so strong and you love your life?

What’s the best feeling about it? And they’re answering the questions themselves. So they’re reinforcing what beliefs and identity issues they are changing. . So clearly this is an audio podcast, but just so everyone knows, I am smiling so big right now. . No, because for years, again, people start to work from the assumption that they start to make the judgment to go, Yes, but the audios are not good, because that’s just direct suggestion hypnosis.

Mm-hmm. . Well, if that’s the frame you put on it, then yes it is. But then again, There are so many other methods and we can do something interactive to let the client have their space. And this is less of a big argument these days. I don’t hear this one as much anymore, but as you brought it up, let’s talk about it
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Where some would go, don’t do the online session, which I think the, uh, Communities checked out on that one. Cuz that’s the necessity nowadays, right? Yeah. But then even for the audio. Oh. Because listening to it at home, you can’t do any emotional work because they might have an A reaction. Yeah. Which, uh, 22nd story.

A friend of mine was a stage hypnotist one time going, Yeah. But I think I’m too powerful of a hypnotist. The people keep falling out of their chairs. I probably do. Shows to which the response was naturally No, it means you’re a crappy hypnotist, . Because you just have to give an extra suggestion that they’ll safely remain in their seats.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Some sales 1 0 1 satisfy objections before they arise. When you mentioned that you know you’re doing things to not have them have those negative reactions, what are, what are some of your strategies for that? Well, it’s mostly in the wording. So if I was taking you to find a, an issue in your past that ha holds the energy or the original conflict for this problem, I’d say now you’re going to just look at it from the outside and observe it, go all around that memory and notice that you’re very safe and that it feels okay to just notice what the.

Authentic feelings are and the interactions you were having, and you just continue to feel safe and be able to observe it and, and continue on like that so that they’re not inside of it. And then sometimes I do in the recordings, I say, Now just go inside of that memory to where that little boy is and notice what he’s experiencing.

And again, you can keep him safe. There’s no harm that’s going to come. He can just notice what happened and, and that kind of wording. So, you know, it really keeps them from going. To have a, you know, a breakdown or an a reaction. I think, and I haven’t had any negative results out of the zillions of people who listen to my work.

They’ve had really positive results. And, um, something like when you talk about online sessions, if they’re doing ’em by video, I’m not doing a lot of those because I’m always a little bit concerned, like if something happened, One client that I had, she went back, she had migraines every Thursday. A few years.

So I had her go back to the first time she learned to have a migraine, and all of a sudden she stopped breathing and she was struggling trying to breathe. Her mouth was wide open and her head was shaking back and forth, and she was honestly not breathing. And so what I did for her in that instant, I could not possibly do on video, but I still probably could have intervened.

So I just. I’m gonna count to three and I’m gonna put my hand on your shoulder and when you feel it, you’ll relax and take that big, easy breath. And And she did. And so then I had her tell me what was going on and she says, My husband’s strangling me. He’s trying to kill me and I can’t breathe. And he’s trying to kill me cuz she was still in the memory.

Yeah. So we worked through that. But what I asked her at the end was, What day is it? And she said, It’s Thursday. She had migraines every Thursday. Horrendous. Since that event happened and we got rid of the migraines, of course, but if someone was on video, this was my point. If they’re on video and I see them having something really difficult happening, I could probably handle it with, you know, just the words.

But sometimes I just have gotta put my hand on someone’s chest or on their belly or something to enter, you know, intervene. Well, what’s really cool about that is. There’s one school of thought that says if they’re in that kind of emotional reaction, completely hands off. But there’s the story that also proves the other nuance, that framing is everything.

Mm-hmm. that in a moment I’ll count from one to three, we’re setting up that mental expectation. Mm-hmm. , and it’s a simple cause and effect relationship. When I do this, you’ll be able to feel that. Right, Right. So if we can frame it, we can change. Yeah. Yeah. Another way I’m working with clients is they use, like the addiction program in particular, they use that on their own every day following all the instructions and the sessions, cuz there’s multiple sessions.

But I talk to them on the phone every day for about 20 minutes, and that way they’re accountable and they tell me what they wrote down, what they experienced, what they noticed in their future self or the self sabotage. So we’re talking about it every. So they’re doing, they’re doing the recorded sessions and still getting the counseling or the coaching from me, and that works really well for me.

Yeah. Well, let’s talk about some of those transitions that there you were in that original training and getting a really great sort of renaissance approach. To all different styles of hypnosis and different approaches, and I’d imagine, let’s say for the first couple of years, most everything was in that in person environment as opposed to eventually becoming product form.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then what was, what was kind of that transition? What were some of the motivators to start to, let’s say, duplicate yourself and start to now reach out around the. Yeah, that was well back in the day of cassettes. Yeah, there were no, you couldn’t, CDs were sort of coming out, but it was very expensive to duplicate a CD because you had to make, I don’t know, a thousand of each one.

And the glass master was like $500 just to get that started. So I was doing cassettes on my little cassette player, and I bought a cassette duplicator that did six of them at once, and then you had to flip them all over. Label him and all that stuff. But what it started with was golf hypnosis, and that was a really good seller.

My 12 year old nephew made me a webpage because you had to know how to code and only 12 year old and know how to code back then . So behind the scenes, I’ve been saying for years, if you don’t know how to do something, find a 12 year old named Jeffrey and he’ll figure it out. And he just, he just ratified that

That’s so funny. So yeah, Eric made a webpage for me. He had four little animated. On there and one of ’em was a cigarette with some little smoke puff coming out, and they were the tiniest things. They were showed up maybe as a like half inch or three quarter inch on the screen. Another one, because I had a breast enlargement program, it was a little boob with a side view and it got bigger.

It got, which I’m sure it got a lot of clicks. Yeah, it did. And then there was a like a, Picture of a woman that she got a little fatter or skinnier or something, but that boob man that launched me freaking launched me. People send everyone there to the boob . So that got me a lot of business and got orders coming in so I could send out the CD or the cassette tapes.

I kept going and going with different topics and adding more things. Uh, you know, the still the best selling thing. Is for men’s sexual issues. And that’s what, That’s the one thing that really got me noticed was because I was willing to do work on men’s sexual stuff. Yeah. So then looking at, So it was a matter of listening to your audience and delivering what they wanted.

Yeah. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. So I, I think I can remember exactly where I was when I was talking to this guy on the phone that wanted me to help him by making a custom. Audio session, I’m sure you know that I do work with penis enlargement, right? Yeah. Okay. So he is, his name was James Taylor, oddly, but not that one.

Not that one. And he says, I wanna try this. I wanna see if hypnosis will make it larger. And he says it’s, it’s not that I’m like real small or anything, but I just wanna try it and it’ll be fun. Cause then my wife can, you know, benefit or whatever. So his wife is gone for a month and he’s listening to my cassette tape that I made for.

And it’s done in a really nice way. It’s, you know, it’s just, it’s really empowering as well. And also about their male strength and energy and the ability to connect and please a woman and stuff. So he said, so he calls me up a month later and he says, Well, my wife came back and he says the strangest thing we, when we started having sex, it was a little tough getting it in cuz I grew, He says, I grew in length and I grew in diameter.

And he says, I’m even bigger flacid. So I’ve started thinking, you know, this is a real effect. The same as the breast enlargement that’s been studied at UCLA and Stanford and all that. This actually has an effect. And he got in touch with me months later and he says it’s still. The size is still there. It hasn’t gone down.

So that became quite a big product that a lot of man bought and oh my gosh, and it, But it’s also about empowering them to be better lovers, better listeners, just being a better man and feeling more connected. And it’s not just about them, you know, and their penis. Right. And that’s, I love that you brought in the reference cuz that’s where I was about to go next.

That there actually is research around that. And I think if I could remember when it was, I think that might have been one of the first times I saw you on television. Was it Rachel Ray? Well, my product was on Rachel Ray cuz one of her. Staff members who hated sex, used my , used the CD to make her love having sex.

So, but they didn’t have me on that. Oh, okay. Yeah. But I was on some different shows with talking about sex stuff, Queen. Right. That was a theme when I saw you on Showtime one time as well. Yeah. You know? Yeah. . Let’s go back to Queen Lativa. Yeah. Queenland was a first TV show and they called me because of that little booby on my website cuz they were doing a show about breasts.

And so they thought, Oh, this’ll be interesting hypnosis for breast enlargement. So they flew into New York. I get off the plane, there’s a limo driver with a sign with my name on it. Come on, . It’s the first time I’d been on TV and I go to a beautiful suite on Central Park and they pick me up the next morning.

Now I’m envisioning, and I’m sure you would as well, that you’re gonna sit in a chair next to a desk where your host is, right. So I’m backstage, they’re putting my mic on and I said, So what is it that you want me to do? Exactly? What am I supposed to be talking about? Like they said, Well, the show’s about brass.

You know that, Do you know what to do? You’ve done this hundreds of times. And I didn’t tell them, I’ve never been on TV . So I go out there, there is an audience of 400 people, which is amazing for a TV talk show. That’s really huge. And Latifa is in the very top row. In the audience, the stage is empty and I’m in, out in the middle of it, there are all these cameras and these men making these signals with their hands that I have no idea.

So here is, I want everybody just to get this message and remember this, keep it in your pocket for someday that you’re gonna need it. I’m standing there and I’m terrified and I thought I’m gonna. Or I’m going to faint. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I mean, this is like, you’re a nightmare. You’re having, So I held my hands out in front of me, cupped, like one inside the other, and I closed my eyes and I said, You have the audience in the palms of your hands.

They’re going to love every word you say, and this is going to be brilliant. So I had five seconds, 10 seconds, and that was my little hypnosis, Jason, that I just decided, okay, you got them in the palms of your hands. And right now while I say that, I put my palms together and they’re open and I can feel it in my belly.

That energy is still just so live. So anyway, they kept me on stage for half of the show, which was 30 minutes cuz it’s an hour. I was up there by myself, , , half an hour, and it worked out really well. It went so well. Ugh. What, what’s so great about that is to look at how, let, let’s draw it out that here is this experience of doing something that was unique and that’s what got attention and that’s where it really took off, which I think is really a great lesson nowadays where people.

Now try to fake the system to go, Oh, I need to put out a viral video. Mm-hmm. . And they’re trying to get there really quickly. We, we can have instant success. We can be in the right place at the right time and have the right message. But it was those years of those prep of the preparation and then having something interesting to say as well as an interesting take on it.

It’s just where suddenly there was the opportunity and. I love the phrase, if it took you several years to become that overnight success. . Yeah. Yeah. And then just being a hypnotist and doing that to myself because I. I was on the verge of tears cuz I was terrified. So everybody listening, no matter how scared you are or how new something is, you do have the resources and the creativity to be able to get it done and make things happen the right way.

But if you keep engaging your brain in the fear, That’s all you’re going to react and respond with is the fear. And boy, just making that shift in that five seconds and boom, it just, it went so well. Oh my gosh. So having had that experience, what was it then like then? Cause you’ve done a ton of media over the years where now that became the normal for you.

Chat with us about that in terms of, was that something that then you had maybe a team facilitating to help make happen? Were they most often doing the organic reach? How did that play? Yeah, it was just nobody was in charge of getting me media and I had a lot of staff by, you know, after like the 10 or 15 years I had 18 full-time staff in a big office and everything.

But I just, I don’t know, I was just in the media partly cause I advertised on radio, so a lot of the producers heard me on radio. Then producers, if you’re any good, they’ll hand your name around to different shows and stuff and so I think it was just totally organic cause we didn’t have any plan. I love you.

It was great, but the best one I did was on Coast to Coast, which is a three hour show at night and at my time zone. I think it started at like 11 . So I just stay up for three hours and not have a drink. And be interesting. And he kept me on for all three hours. It was amazing. And Jason, the next day, and we were, we had three days that we knew I was gonna be on this show.

That was all three days. And I told everybody in the office, I said, Go grab your friends and get them folding boxes and get, get this ready. The next day we sold $90,000 of seed and DVDs, and the next day after that I think was 60,000 the next day. 40. Oh my God. That was, Yeah, that was something. . I love that aspect of looking and going, We need to be ready for this.

Yeah. Yeah. That’s the story that’s popped up here a few times about how suddenly here was the opportunity and we did not have the infrastructure to support it. Yeah. Well we did it for sure. I mean, we had a really well oiled machine, but only for selling like, I don’t know. 15,000 a day or something of dollars.

Mm-hmm. . And so when this happened, it was, you know, just get people in, in fold boxes. Let’s just start with that because we assembled all the products in house because there wasn’t an easy way to get hundreds of titles made in quantity. So they actually had duplicators. For the CDs, they put the covers in.

They did. They did everything in house. So, but it worked except for one little glitch, which was hilarious. And now UPS label printer prints out like thou 2000 labels or something. And then the invoices come out in the same order. Right, Right. And out of the printer. But somehow they weren’t in the right order , and so they had to match up all the labels and all the invoices.

Oh my God. But I was hoping for that to turn out to be someone ordered one product, but really got something else instead and then goes, Wow, how did you know I needed this ? Yeah. Yeah. And from a marketing perspective, I think a lot of people miss out on what marketing really is. How effective it can be.

And I think part of my success was due to that. Like we had purple boxes that had, it’s, had a great big smile on it. Kinda like Amazon. It’s speaking my language. Keep on it. smile, it’s for you. And it’s in big letters and then there’s on the sides, there’s really happy things. And of course there’s a wendy.com and it says, Go here and get your.

Like what’s in the purple box and stuff like that. So every person who touched this purple box was getting a little bit of marketing and going, Oh, huh, I wonder what that is. I’ll have to go check that out. And I think that was a real big boost to the business as well. Yeah. So along this journey, here’s this passion now for working with addictions.

Can you talk a bit on that? The rough part of the story is my oldest son, Sean, was in and out of rehab and he had trouble with alcohol and then he started using opiates, like just pills. He says, Don’t worry, mom, I’d never shoot up, and it’s only occasional or whatever. But it did get further along and he was using heroin quite a bit, so he went to rehab the first time It.

Oh, I went down to Southern California with him and I saw what they were doing, and as a hypnotherapist, it was like, you can’t be serious. This is therapy. He was at a place for 28 days. They fed him crappy processed food. There were no vitamins or anything, allowed, nothing to help heal his brain, and they sat around and had meetings and smoked a lot of cigarette.

And I learned later that that neighborhood, that it’s had a lot of meth dealers in the neighborhood, so they could just do the deals over the fence in the backyard. So none of the, He went to five rehabs. It cost me about $150,000 and altogether, and each one, I would go to a meeting in the rehab to see what they’re doing and the first rehab that he had gone to.

I sat down for this meeting. Here’s professional guy that goes around all the, uh, rehabs and speaks, and he says, Hi, I’m Frank and I’m an alcoholic, and everybody’s, you know, Hi Frank. He says, Even after 16 years of being totally sober, not a drop alcohol, I have to tell you that every day I am just fighting white knuckling it to make it till.

Whoa. Yeah, boy, what did he just do? And then when they were the, some of the guys were gonna be leaving, they told them, Now you know that in 30 days, only one in 12 of you will still be clean and sober. Oh wow. Power of suggestion. Oh yeah. And I, I saw this happening cuz Sean shared it with me. And then another rehab, I was there for a family night and we were on a circle in the chairs and there’s a young girl, she was about 18 and she was gonna go home tomorrow.

So the, the psychologist puts a chair in the middle of the circle for the girl to sit in and the psychologist is sitting next to. Then the psychologist asked for three guys to stand up behind the girl. She has the girl, close her eyes, take some deep breaths, relax your body. Want you to imagine that you’re going into your house.

Now you’re going into your bedroom, and now that you’re in your bedroom, you need to be sure that you’re really, really strong. Cause those drugs you gonna try and get you. They’re there, they’re trying to get you. They’re doing everything they can to get you. You have to be so strong. Now she’s cued these men behind her.

To raise their arms, wave them all around her and like growl, like, ah, and she’s, and they’re doing this while this girl is supposedly imagining she’s in her bedroom. Then she has the men go outside to the window and bang on the windows and she says, And they’re outside of your room. They’re outside.

They’re trying to get you. You have to be really strong. Oh my God, Jason, I couldn’t believe I could just sit there and my jaw. That poor girl. Oh my gosh. Right. Which, if, if that wasn’t a concern, it is. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. So then looking at, and I love that you started the story with, you know, here’s all the crap food, here’s the cigarettes, here’s, Yeah.

You know, not just the negative languaging, but even down to just the fact of working from the inside out in terms of better health for that person. So clearly this is a very leading transition, clearly, that this is not just, here’s your 45 minute. MP3 recording, listen to it every day, and that all to stick.

Right. I’m sure there’s, there’s a whole lot more to the approach. What, what do you think, Let’s start from this perspective. What is it that you see that the hypnotist can do differently in that environment? First, that can better, you know, create that resiliency, that confidence, that organic change. Within that person.

Yeah, it’s a lot of things. So the program now, it has a really beautiful color workbook for the client and it leads them along in every aspect of what we’re changing cuz they’re changing their identity and their beliefs about themselves in the future and now and who they are. And we’re changing the triggers and that’s one of the real massive things.

So that even if there was something that would normally trigger a person to drink or use drugs, it now triggers them to be strong, healthy, and in. . Each of those three things has been like massively embedded with all the issues that they need. Beliefs, identities, positive feelings. So if they now use this with them in one of the sessions, if you happen to be driving by that liquor store that you used to go get all that booze, You’ll just notice you have this amazing feeling of strength that rises up in you and you realize you don’t need that.

It’s not, it’s not even a thing, it just is nothing. You drive by feeling healthy and strong and in control, and the anchors that are created are very easily accessed, so they don’t have to give themselves a, you know, cheerleading session, . It just happened. But then one of my favorites is this one guy, Darrell, that he was 45 and he.

I have to tell you what happened from your program. He said, I have always been a fat slob drunk. That’s all I am. I drink over a case of beer a day, and every friend of mine knows I’m just a Fats slob drunk, and that’s all I will ever be. However, When I was in the future timeline on my session, and I was one year in the future, I was being an athlete and he said, Wendy, that doesn’t make any sense.

I’m not, I’m a fat slab drunk, so I’m, What do I do about this? envision himself being an athlete. Well, here’s what happened. He became an Iron Man, but not Oh, wow. Yeah. The Iron Man who competes in Ironman, he travels all over the world competing, and he’s been in the Kona Iron Man more than once, which Kona is the big final one that you have to, you know, the top of the top.

And he’s been doing this for 15 years now. Because of that one little moment in there when I said, Do, you’re doing something you absolutely love. Something that makes you so proud and so strong, And when you’re right here, right now at one year in the future, Which of course you know that language is making it present tense and future is at the same time.

But anyway, he just, he got it. And something in his brain would not let him like back down from being an Ironman. I love that. And especially, I mean, to hear stories like that, Where I’ve got clients of mine, similar stories have been shared in 300 plus episodes of this program. And for people, and I hear this not just from the occasional client, but even the hypnotist, and it’s this language, which I’m sorry, we should know better.

This language of, well, what if it wears off? No, look at the fact that this person is changing on a level of identity, right? That the way that they identify themselves. I had a martial arts person recently as a client that he looked around and he goes, Yeah, so obesity during covid seems to be the major factor.

I need to change this. And the languaging of the big fat guy was his language of change the name, but big Tom and. We at least kept big Tom, but it went to the fact that he’s tall of changing that definition of self, where now the guy who’s out there doing the Ironman, whatever the issues were before, just don’t fit.

Yeah. In who he is. Yeah. Yeah. So then is this, is this a program that now people are going through self-guided, and now there there’s an option of, uh, you know, assistance one to one? Or what’s kind of the shape of that? There’s, yeah, three different ways. One is to do it self-guided, and it really encourages you to continue because the workbook is just, it’s really beautiful the way it’s laid out.

It’s full color, and it has all these places where you’re doing writing about what you experienced in your session. So you’re reinforcing it, but it also is giving them. Understanding of what they’re about to experience beforehand and doing a lot of expectation and kind of, you know, predetermining what they’re going to feel.

But they can do that on their own. And they listen two, three or four sessions a day and it’s a 14 day program. And then they, some people fly in to come and. Do it with me for three days in a row and we do about four hours each day and then we can work on personal things, but they, they fly in, it’s very expensive.

They get a hotel room and I come to them at their hotel room. And the other way is just to do it with some phone coaching. And the phone coaching is fun. I just. I get to know these people so well, and I’m with them during this amazing transformation where they’re completely hopeless and AA has convinced them that it’s hopeless.

That you are always an addict. It is a disease. You will never get over it. You’re always on the edge of relapse. And we turn all that on its head and, and then I get to do this with them while they’re getting all this, you know, feeling of power and like, Wow, that is in the past and I’m just not that anymore.

It doesn’t mean a thing to me. Now instead, Reinforcing what they do of that. You are going to be struggling like that man, at the first meeting that I went to and he said 16 years sober and I’m still white knuckling, trying to make it till midnight. Ugh. And I’ve seen so much one of the. One of the big rehabs in Southern California that my son went to, they figured out if they put six people in each apartment and they got all these apartments, they could get over the residential limit of, I think it was eight or 10 people.

So they had over a hundred people who were paying $35,000 a month. And my son went there and I wrote them the check for $35,000. And then the director, Ryan had me come into his office a few days after my son was there, cuz Ryan said, Oh, I you’re a hypnotherapist. Yeah, I’ve heard of you. I want you to see if you could help our guests get better results because our success rate is only really five to 7% and we’d really like to improve it.

I just wrote you a check for $35,000 . I didn’t say that to him. But, oh my God, Jason. So he asked me to just do like a session, a little meeting with some of the people, and I had about 20 people. All I did, I talked to him for like half an hour, and then I did a future timeline for half an hour where they’re no longer an addict.

They don’t even think about the drugs, the alcohol. It was so long ago, and it feels so good to be who you are now and stuff. So I did that, and the next day I go back to Ryan’s office and he said, What did you do to them? I was like, Oh, oh. He said, Everybody’s talking about you. They just, they can’t hardly stop talking about how good they feel and how strong they feel, and they loved it.

So I did a presentation for the board of directors and everybody really liked it except for one person. Do you know who that is? The psychiatrist. The psychiatrist. He, you know, they don’t like lay people and Mm. Yeah. He. He was not nice to me. But anyway, because you know, I’m, I shouldn’t be dabbling in an area that he’s an expert in.

Well, I look at, you know, from this outside perspective, and you know, there have been times, I’m sure, where you’ve been there in conjunction with something that was already there as an established program, but also looking at. What are the aspects that we can fill in? And here’s this confidence building.

Here’s this building up of ego itself and letting it now be more about, I would say, when I see a stop smoking client these days, the change occurs because the conversation becomes different. It’s not about the thing that you’re quitting, it’s about now, what is it that you can do better now that this thing doesn’t have to be?

Exactly. And, and by building the future, rather than remind them of the problem that they don’t have anymore. . I actually love your language and this is awesome. I, I, Well, the, the, the best thing I can do in my business is to stop smoking person. And this only happens every now and then that they go, Well, I’ve only ever stopped for like six months.

Can I book a six month follow up? Yeah. Which might be easy business, but it’s better for me to look at them and go, Why? Yeah, you’re not a smoker. You’re, you’re not gonna be doing it. I mean, if there’s something else you wanna work on, we can get back together and work on that. But I don’t need to remind you.

Uh, I learned so much when I had a 12 year old girl named Caroline, who was a picky eater, and when mom dropped her off, she would eat anything and everything and be adventurous when dad dropped her off, would completely backslide. Why? Because, Cause mom would be around her. Hey, you know what? You’ve got four brothers.

If you don’t want it, someone else will eat it, or the dog will. This is about you. Explore. This is the girl who sassed me because I gave her a disclaimer to go, There’s some food you might not like after this. I don’t like mushrooms, and I’m an adventurous eater. I’ll try anything once. Mm-hmm. second appointment, she’s pointing her finger at me going, I like mushrooms.

I’m better at this than you are . Oh, except with dad. It was that. I know you’re a picky eater. You don’t have to force this. Totally brought it right back. Let’s, let’s build up the individual. Let’s bring them into their future then. Yeah. I, I’m curious, Oh, go ahead. Oh, what you said about the smoking and how you approach it, that just is so good for people to know what you’re saying about you’re building something better that they love about their life and about themselves, so that it’s not about quitting smoking, although they, they do quit, but yeah, having them build the thing that makes them live the life they want.

Well, it, uh, the metaphor that I love is that you hear these stories. Of the person who completely uproots their life and maybe they drive the car across country, they travel the world and the story is never about what pocket they kept their keys. Where they charge their phone, if it’s recent, those are those least significant parts of the story.

So let’s now shrink down the old habits. So that’s just the first step of a much bigger journey. Let’s let have, let’s have that be the focus now. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. And there’s a lot of hypnotists out there that are not well trained. And if. People who are listening to this, and you’re not a hypnotist, you need to know that there’s so many different levels of expertise and it is worth checking them out, getting a consult from different ones because you know, Jason and I are really, really good at what we do, but there are some people who are just direct suggestion.

They’re gonna say, Every time you think of a cigarette, you’re gonna feel like you wanna throw up. You’re going to imagine eating. Oh man, I listened to. It was a recorded session on YouTube. I listened to this session. It was just disgusting. They had them imagining eating cigarette butts and imagine, which turns out to not be enjoyable for anybody.

It was. It was all aver. And they had them in the person in the hospital imagining that they’re dying of lung cancer and their whole family is there and their family’s so sad, and you’re dying of lung cancer and nothing can be done. And then you’re imagining looking at your lungs being all black and stuff.

The whole thing was like, Oh, and it’s, it’s so, that’s so dangerous. Um, well, what’s great about this chat with you so far is that, let’s look at the category. What are the common objections to the audio? Oh, but that’s just direct suggestion, which clearly No, it doesn’t have to be. Here are some that would talk about.

You know, here are the folks who have sold millions of online programs, which Wendy, thank you cuz a lot of my clients have referenced, Oh, I got this person’s audio and that’s how I learned about this. And I, aw, made this change. And now I saw your local, let me come to you. Or even the fact that you talked about knowing the marketing, about getting out there, sharing a message, leading with the research around what you did.

And the, the stereotype may often become the person who sells the thing online. Is just the opportunist, which I love this. When I went to your website before we jumped on, there is a tab for mask anxiety, , and it’s free uhhuh. Yeah. Which is the, uh, lover of all things online marketing and lead magnets.

Beautifully done. But, but chat with me about that, about how we found ourselves in a different world a number of months ago, and rather than what can I sell people? What can I give clearly had to be part of that convers. Yeah. Yeah. And I made it because a producer at Good Morning America wanted me to do a piece on the show about mask anxiety and using hypnosis.

And so I did make the session. They didn’t go ahead with the segment, which, whatever would’ve been nice, but, But it was really about just helping people want to wear masks. Cause this was early on in the having to wear masks thing. And so it’s a lot about just feeling really good about protecting yourself.

And then there’s a part that I say, if you really need to take a breath, just put your finger on the side of the mask and take just a little breath and you’ll. You’ll feel relaxed wearing it and stuff. So yeah, I love having some free things cuz a lot of people don’t dive in and buy something right away.

They need to experience it. But the experiences people have had with my free sessions, just really simple basic ones. Oh my gosh, some people have a huge life change and I’m so grateful to be able to do that. I love that. I love that. So we’ve, we’ve hinted at it before, Where can people best find you? Well, wendy.com is the place and it’s Wendy with an i, so w e n d i.com.

And then you can also send me a message directly and I will actually get back to you and answer you. There’s a lot of really just. Great programs in there and everything is at a discount price right now. My prices used to be really, really high back in the day, but I’ve lowered the prices a lot so people can afford them more right now in this, all this covid stuff going on, you know, stress and anxiety, of course, those are just huge.

Insomnia is a really big problem, and I have a really nice program for insomnia that has eight different sessions, so it approaches it from all different aspects and it’ll put you back to sleep if you wake up. But it also just releases the stress and the worry, and I, I would just love it if people would get on the, uh, ending there.

Insomnia deal. That’s really important. One, because our sleep, man, our sleep affects our health so much. Every aspect of our health. Every, every bit of it. So this one’s for me cuz I only tend to invite people on that. I go, It’s not that they’re gonna get a lot of downloads though. We’ll get a lot of downloads.

It’s also about capturing the conversations that genuinely I want to have. So, thank you for being here, by the way. Yeah, I’d, I’d be curious to ask the, the standard. You know, to start back over again, I, Is there something that kind of stands out as to what you might have done differently? A place you might have put the focus earlier and completely.

Okay. To pick specific things and say, I wish I would’ve done this sooner. What would that be for you? One of the things would be to learn to be a better speaker. So I didn’t have to be scared when I got up to speak at conferences and being on TV and media and that would’ve helped. And I, since then, I have done a lot of speaker training.

Jason, everything happens just the way it should, and I saw something on that little classified ad that just sparked my interest. And I think there was something that lined up that allowed me to have that experience and find that that day. And I’m just so grateful. There’s, there’s really nothing else I would change.

Nothing I would do differently. Everything happened just the way it was supposed to unfold, and I went from being, I was very poor af when. Becoming a hypnotherapist and I was a single mom and not making much money and, uh, all the wolves were at my door all the time. And I, with hypnosis to myself, I made something happen one year in the future, which was that my business would do a million dollars or more.

Online, and I had no way to make that happen, but it did. One year later to the very week that I wrote this note for myself, that was on my computer monitor for the whole year, it said, I’ll make $1 million or more, and I had sold a million and $12,000 and I said, I’ll open the door to my beautiful house, and I just closed escrow on a beautiful brand new house.

Everything happened. Just the. It was supposed to. Jason Ladette here once again, and as always, thank you so much for sharing this as a professional resource in the continued growth of our incredible profession, as well as of course, subscribing to this show, leaving your reviews online and indeed interacting with our amazing guests.

Once again, head over to the show [email protected]. That’s where you can find links to anything and everything that Wendy and I have referenced. Direct website. Links over to wendy.com. A few media appearances as well, so check that out [email protected] and plus subscribe to my other new program, Hypnotic Language Hacks, new episodes every single Wednesday.

A mixture of great interviews, as well as direct teaching modules. We just did a recent episode. On a strategy that I call the, It’s not about, but it is routine and it’s a very simple linguistic pattern that actually helps you to easily and naturally deliver the experience of under promise. Over deliver inside of the work that you do, whether it’s a product, whether it’s a service.

That’s a recent episode over at Hypnotic Language Hacks. So wherever you can find podcasts, do a search for that program. Subscribe the day, and keep listening to that one as well. We’ll eventually get up to 3 0 1 on that one. Thanks for listening, everybody. See you soon. Stay safe. Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast and work smart hypnosis.com.