A woman comes into my office years ago to stop smoking. Our conversation is going positive, and then suddenly the tone shifts.
â€œWell, have you ever smoked?â€
â€œNo,â€ I reply.â€
â€œThen you donâ€™t know what Iâ€™m going through.â€
A flash of inspiration takes place, and I reply, â€œYouâ€™re right. Iâ€™ve never smoked. Itâ€™s never been an issue before for me. Would you rather go through the rest of your life as a non-smoker-in-challenge, still dealing with cravings, or would you rather go through life assuming the mindset I have, as if youâ€™ve never smoked before?â€
She loves this idea, and our session begins.
Many of our hypnosis clients come in focused on what they donâ€™t want, and itâ€™s helpful to shift the goals toward the outcome they do want.
Consider for a moment the popular meeting-based programs for people to lose weight. Iâ€™ll politely choose to not mention the specific names of these groups, but there is one thatâ€™s focused on helping people watch their weight. Yeah, that one. Itâ€™s counting calories with easier math. The program absolutely works, but it encourages the attendees to think about food even more.
Iâ€™m 5â€™4. Iâ€™m about 140 pounds, but in high school I weighed about 210 pounds at my heaviest. Take a person whoâ€™s had a lifelong issue with their size, and theyâ€™re constantly thinking about their intake. Should I be eating this? Have I had too much? Can I afford to eat this one more thing?
Take a person who has never had an issue with their weight; they eat when theyâ€™re hungry, they stop when theyâ€™re not. Isnâ€™t that the better mindset to model?
My suggestion is this: when working with clients, shift the conversation to how theyâ€™d rather be thinking. Learn what behaviors and emotions theyâ€™d like to adjust, and then discuss how theyâ€™d rather be thinking.
Associate them into the outcome, and take them along for the ride. As if they never had that challenge before.