Kelley T. Woods joins me today to share some of the lessons she has learned from working with kids and how she uses parents as props during her sessions. We discuss the value of working with clients from the mindset of an educator instead of a facilitator of change and she describes how the fact that hypnotherapy is often a client’s last resort can actually be a benefit to the practitioner. She also explains her definition of mindful hypnosis and the tools and techniques she uses to equip her clients so they can practice between sessions and sustain long-term benefits.
Kelley operates the Woods Hypnosis Center, and has extensive training and expertise in the areas of pain management, weight loss, athletic performance, and pediatric hypnosis. Additionally, she has written or co-authored nine books including the award-winning Integrative Hypnosis for Kids and Teens: Playing for Change which she co-authored with Melissa Tiers.
“If we can teach clients these methods and strategies that are easy to do and don’t take a lot of time, then they can not only start to self-regulate, but they can maintain that for the rest of their life.” – Kelley T. Woods
- Why she believes having a flexible user experience is beneficial to clients.
- How modeling flexibility allows the client to be flexible.
- Her advice for how new hypnotists can learn flexibility in their process.
- The importance of keeping an open mind and learning from your clients.
- Involving children in the process and allowing them to come up with creative solutions.
- How practitioners can approach coordination with the parents of a young client.
- The verbal contract she makes with the parents of her pediatric clients.
- Why she believes hypnosis is so appealing to children.
- Her definition of mindful hypnosis.
- How actively engaging the conscious mind can allow the client to take ownership of their own process.
- The methods and strategies she teaches clients that they can practice between sessions.
- Why she uses the emotional detox technique during her client intake process.
- Why she does not believe people are afraid of hypnosis.
- The importance of forming strong therapeutic relationships with clients.
- The dangers of empathizing with clients.
- The benefits of normalizing what the client is going through.
- Why she does not believe in using the term “resistant client.”
- The need for hypnotists to recognize their own limiting beliefs and reframe them.
Connect with Kelley T. Woods:
- Woods Hypnosis Center
- Hypnotic Women Facebook Group
- Laughter for the Health of It by Kelley T. Woods and Dave Berman
- The HOPE COACHing Practitioner’s Guidebook by Michael Ellner, Kelley T. Woods, and Alan Barsky
- Mindful Hypnosis for Clients with Chronic Issues Course at Hypnothoughts Live 2018
- Upcoming 2018 presentations and workshops
Join Jason Linett and James Hazlerig September 17th through 22nd in Springfield, Virginia for the LIVE Essentials of Modern Hypnosis training session! Participants of this live training seminar will receive the ICBCH Certification. To register, visit:
Get an all-access pass to Jason’s digital library to help you grow your hypnosis business:
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Podcast Episode Transcripts:
Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.
This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 174. Kelly T. Woods on Mindful Hypnosis. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, Your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business six. Sets. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette. It’s very appropriate to say welcome back to the program as this is Kelly’s second appearance here on the Work Smart Hypnosis series.
Though as you’ll hear me say as I introduce her in a few moments, she was the 11th session of the series, which I am very comfortably in telling you was before I figured out what this thing was actually going to become. You know, it’s like when you watch a TV show and so. The second season of the show where they really pick up the momentum and the characters are developed and, um, what was it, Full house that the Jesse character was Italian, but then he turned Greek or maybe the other way around.
I am getting so specific with my references. Let’s get back to the content here. Uh, for those of you that don’t know of Kelly’s work, she is a well known resource and expert on all things pediatric hypnosis, which we spend a lot of time in this conversation. Talking about the nuances of how do you, uh, manage and work with, or as she describes it beautifully, using the parents as props as part of your process.
We go off into the topics of inviting the curiosity of the child and the value of you as the practitioner working with your client from the mindset of educator. As opposed to the facilitator of change and building that ability to let the process take on a very different feel from what the expectation would be.
You know, we hit on the theme of, of, uh, we do things differently. That, Yes, for many folks, hypnosis is that last resort strategy. They’ve done a little bit of everything else before they pick up the phone and call one of us people who are out here and to have that leverage point that we get to do things differently.
So there’s an amazing nuance that she talks about. In reference to the trainings from Michael Elner and Alan Barski of Here’s a strategy that you can do seated. Now do it standing now. Do it while you’re walking. And I love the mindset of things you can do anytime, anywhere, and nobody knows you’re doing something.
So we also wrap up with the amazing topic of the Facebook group and online c. Hypnotic women, which is a lot of resources that we’re referencing in this dialogue and over at the show [email protected] For this specific session, we’ll put links to hypnotic women. We’ll put links to Kelly’s books and her websites and upcoming trainings.
Just a whole collection of outstanding resources, which are. Definitely, definitely worth a good look. You know, it’s all about building the flexibility in your process. And on that note, I’d encourage you to check out the website, hypnotic workers.com. This is the all access pass to my hypnosis training library from instant and rapid inductions, using progressive muscle relaxation in a way that builds conviction into the process.
Techniques for deepening the hypnotic state. Know where you are. Strategies for building conviction in a way that satisfy. Just need for, was I hypnotized or was I just relaxed? Plus strategies for change that have developed uniquely out of seeing many clients over the years and including on top of that.
there are real client sessions from walking in the door to walking out the door to model the experience of how it all actually gets put together. You get access to everything starting at just $47. So check that out right away [email protected] And with that, let’s jump directly into this amazing first conversation for the second time with Kelly T.
Woods. This is session number 174 Kelly T. Woods on Mindful Hypnosis.
So I’d mentioned that I said this before we started recording that. Uh, I had you on the program extremely early on session number 11 of this podcast series. And I can comfortably say it wasn’t until like session number 56 onward that I kind of figured out that, oh wait, here’s the format of the Work Smart Hypnosis series.
So even though this is technically your second appearance, congratulations, Kelly T. Woods, this is your first appearance officially. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate that. Perhaps we’re already talking about some of the principles of neuroplasticity as it applies to making podcasts. Ooh, look at that.
Putting it in context. name of that would be Podcast Plasticity and you’re apparently expert at it. Thanks for having me back. And I like that podcast plasticity to buy the website of that one. So I’d ask you the simple update. Um, you know, in the last couple of years what’s been. What’s been the focus of your work in terms of how you address, you know, whether it’s teaching, whether it’s writing, whether it’s working with clients, What’s been, what’s been that driving focus in recent years for.
Well, I think it’s just been more of the same. This is my 16th year in practice and I have such a passion for working with clients that for a long time I thought I would just stay in that world. But I have found myself doing more teaching in spite of my efforts to do that. So now I’ve traveled to Brazil and I’m gonna be going to, um, over to the uk.
To Scotland and England and Holland later this year to teach. So apparently people like some of the stuff that’s coming outta my. I love it. I love it. And having read several of your books as well and getting a lot of, uh, great insights in terms of, uh, working with kids and just the approach to hypnotism itself, I’d love to ask this question of, we usually kick off with this of, you know, I, I love the aspect of the user experience that someone’s coming in to work with you.
What are some of those ingredients? What are some of those elements that are gonna be a part of that experience of working with. , Well, they’re definitely going to be, um, engaging in a variety of different things. I, I think one of the reasons why I’m successful with clients is because I’m not making an effort to make them fit any particular protocol.
I’m not married to any particular approach or technique, but I am flexible. And so, you know, they’re gonna be able to, to take advantage. Something that I offer them. Maybe it’ll take, you know, a couple of hit or misses until we find that. But I think that just by modeling that flexibility, my clients can be flexible and we know what that means when it comes to making changes.
So for the new hypnotists launching into things, how would you say we go about learning that flexibility? Train from as many different people as possible. Mm-hmm. and, you know, really keep that open mind and read a lot of. And learning from your clients. They’re teaching all the time. I think, you know, when we’re talking about pediatric hypnosis, I, I can’t tell you how much I’ve learned from the wonderful children that I’ve worked with.
Is there a story that comes to mind of working with a particular child in terms of where the process took itself as a result of what creativity they brought to the process? Well, when I figured out pretty early on that it’s important to co-create those solutions with the kids. They just started coming organically and you know, children who present with problems, the first, the first question we have is, Whose problem really is it, Is it theirs or is it the adults?
Mm-hmm. . But, um, you know, when they are interested in, in making some change, and we include them in that process, some magic starts to happen because often prior to that, um, everything has been orchestrated for them and, and really, That’s one of their challenges is that they don’t have the sense of control in their life.
And so when I give them that control, then they’re free to use their creative abilities to come up with all kinds of solutions. I remember, um, one girl who suffered from some nightmares and she was 10 years old. And so when I engaged her in this solution focused approach, she came up with a dream be. And if in her imagination she could select the types of dreams that she wanted, this worked like a charm.
I never would’ve imagined a dream beanie. I think I owned a propeller beanie once in my life. , that was, that was a perfect solution, and since it came from her, it was very powerful. I love that. I mean, I’m flashing to the most inappropriate reference of that nature, which is the mother calls me up after working with this, uh, nine year old boy with, uh, fear of, of bees and they had a whole bunch of them in the neighborhood.
And she calls up and she goes, Did you, did you tell my son that the bees are farting? I went, I’m thinking through, it’s like, no, I don’t believe I did. Cuz if I did, I definitely would’ve gone home and told that story to my wife. Um, I’m trying to trace through, it’s like I was looking at reframing every aspect of the process and I think at one point I just simply said, as you hear the sound, you realize it’s something sillier to you that you don’t find as alarming.
Uh, and that’s the replacement that he made. You know, she, she’s calling it a bit of odds going, Well, I mean, he’s fine with them now. One landed on him and he just brushed it off and thank you. But that’s, that’s an interesting choice, , isn’t that excellent? And I think that of course, in true young boy fashion, he found the perfect answer.
Right, Right. So taking that creativity, I’m, I’m curious to rewind. The experience back, because I think one of the biggest questions that comes from working with children is that coordination with the parents. Do you have any insights on how to approach that? Um, you know that, that is a great question and one of the things that I do, Jason, that’s been very effective is just on first contact when we’ve decided that they’re gonna be coming in with their kid, I get them to agree with me and make kind of a verbal contract that they’ll do anything that I ask them.
And, and, you know, I pretty much make that be a condition of, of seeing their child. And in that way they’re going to be a really effective prop for me. I can demonstrate things on them if I want them to be quiet. If I want them to leave, they’re, they’re going to do what I ask. So getting them to align with me, and of course, the fact that they’re calling for help with their kimmings, they’re motivated, seems to be really a, a great.
Um, pre-supposition that I’m gonna be in control of that session instead of them, which is often a problem that, that therapists have. When parents are present, the parents are kind of interfering . Mm-hmm. . Yeah. I mean, it’s where I love the idea of using them as the model, using them as the prop in the early stages of.
Yes. Especially you can imagine if you’re working with a, uh, teenager who’s not very forthcoming, and then I ask the teenager for permission to demonstrate something on their parent that’s . It just gets a delightful grin. Mm-hmm. . Yeah, especially in terms of, I, I do a little segment of mine is that I’ll do some suggestibility test in the lobby and then it turns into, Hey, let me give you a tour of the space here.
This is the classroom, this is where, you know, you’ll be sitting and, uh, mom, dad, you can have a seat out there in the lobby. So they’re getting the experience of the space. But doing this suggestibility tests and the moments where it’s without fail, for me, it’s kind of an amazing thing that the suggestibility tests are often more effective on the.
That they’re working. Yes. With the kid, but the parents a little bit more in that surprise factor of going, Oh wait, I didn’t know this was gonna involve me today. Yes. Which to play off that energy, right? As Melissa Tears likes to say. No, spectators. Yeah. So, wait, and if we think about that in the frame of utilizing those parents.
While we’re empowering the kids, that’s I think, where some magical shifts start to happen. And I know that you work with, like I do that every single thing that we do from the moment that we have contact with them has an intention. We’re not just playing, although it might seem like play, but we’re, you know, um, eliciting information, responses we’re exciting.
Their imagination. And when it comes to children, of course, they’re. In varying tra states all the time, shifting very quickly. Adults are too, but they don’t, they don’t have that ease of, of moving in and out of those TRAs. I think so, um, you know, having, having a, a good selection of those kinds of things, whether they’re those demonstrations using props or hand sticks or any of those other things and, and teaching the whole family how amazing hypnosis can.
really opens the doors for finding answers. Yeah. And are there times where you end up working with more of the family members than just the initial one who came in? Yes. Sometimes I, I like to tell this story. I had a woman call me who wanted to know if I could help her son do his homework. And he was 12 years old and refusing to do his homework and after about 10 minute conversation, she booked a session for herself.
So I. Several sessions with her. By the third session, her son started doing his homework. Now, I never met the kid , but that was, that was an example where, you know, the problem was sourced in the parent. And so that’s our job is to, to try to figure that out. And sometimes, you know, we have to help the parent figure that out too.
So it, that requires some, Yeah, I, I’m flashing to a moment where mom and dad were both bringing their teenager in and they show up 30 minutes late having lost the directions to my office and the forms aren’t filled out, and I just crack a joke around, Hey, should one of you be in the office first rather than him?
And they quickly respond. Yeah, that’s a good idea. How about I start. It’s like, Oh, yep, okay. Which got the result in motion. And you know, I was curious to ask, what age range do you find yourself working with the most? Uh, the most, Well, you know, it’s a real, it’s a real broad range. Mm-hmm. , unfortunately, kids as six or seven are presenting with anxiety.
Yes. And, and they know that word. In fact, I’m, I’m kind of blown away at, at some of the terminology that young children are using. And of course they’re learning that from the adults, but they’re also learning it because the, these things have been medicalized and they’ve been dragged around to different doctors trying.
To, um, get a diagnosis. So sometimes they’re referred by doctors, but a lot of times the, their parents are, are finding me or hearing, you know, from a previous client that this has worked. I think that when kids are getting to the age of seven and eight, you know, into school age and problems like bedwetting are persist.
Then people are starting to look for more answers and more parents are looking for answers outside of pharmaceutical approaches. And that delights me because, um, I’ve been having in the last couple of years just an influx, influx of college age kids who were medic. Uh, medicated when they were younger and they’re, they have entrenched anxiety and panic attacks and, and even some other, uh, somatic disorders.
So that’s frightening when we think about that undeveloped brain and nervous system being exposed to some heavy duty medications. , Yeah. To find other options, other strategies. And it, it’s where these things may save, serve a specific purpose when appropriate. But the challenge is by telling someone at that age, you can’t function unless you have this.
And I, I’ve run into that scenario unfortunately many times. , Right? And then we get into the, that problematic issue of, of labels and identities and, and all that, that kind of a thing. But, you know, I think one of the reasons that hypnosis is so appealing to kids, Is that it is fun. Mm-hmm. and kids just don’t have enough time for play and fun nowadays.
Their, their lives are so structured and, and regulated and I mean, even when they’re quite young, the target is a, is getting into college and earning those scholarships and, and so they get onto that merry go round and. Uh, they don’t really have, you know, time for relaxation or, or leisure activities. And so hypnosis affords a way for them to kind of explore an inner playground and, and get a sense of, of that childlike dream state that we all crave.
Yeah, absolutely. So it, it’s the goal of at times preventing them from having to come back as the adult, as they’re, they’re in front of us as the. . Yeah, that’s true. So I love, I love to work with kids and, and actually I think anytime I work with a client, we’re, we’re working with a kid at some level, uh, , you know, we’re, we’re working with that part of them that takes things very literally
That part of them that’s open to suggestions and is easy to fascinate so many of the techniques and, um, theories that, that I use working with kids map across to work with adults. Yeah, so the, this concept that you’ve been sharing recently of mindful hypnosis, I’m sure that applies to working with kids, but also working with adults as well.
I, If you had to define mindful hypnosis, how would you explain that? . So actually, you know, that’s a, a term that Michael Elner and I coined, um, probably back in around 2012 or so when we were putting together our Hope Coaching program. And it, it evolved from his and Alan Bakis Quantum focusing, which is really, you know, a series of brief, easy to do exercises.
That are not in some sub man ballistic state. It’s where the conscious mind is actively engaged and you know, this is really important. I think that when we engage clients in these practices where they’re thinking about doing it, but being mindful in, in that we are not only giving them the responsibility for their own improvement, but we’re giving them the.
because we can do some amazing things in our office with clients. We’ve all seen these spontaneous shifts happen and that are seemingly magical, and that’s wonderful. But especially when we’re dealing with clients who have, uh, chronic issues and they’ve been suffering for years and decades, sometimes it’s gonna take a while to rewire what’s happening in them.
And so that means that they, we need to make the case for them to. Between our sessions and then after, because even when people find relief, then they go out into our society and they’re exposed once again to all of that stress making stuff. So if we can teach them these methods and strategies that are easy to do and don’t take a lot of time, then they can not only start to self regulate, but they can maintain that for the rest of their life.
Is there an example you can share? When you say techniques, like what would that typically. . Well, um, one that a lot of people are familiar with is the emotional detox technique. Yes. And, and that’s basically a version of an anchor collapse. And I love it because you can’t really screw it up as long as you follow the order of operations with it.
And I, I usually teach that kind of a technique, whether it’s that one or something similar during. My intake during the PRETA pre-talk because we found that once people find success with these, even if they have a bit of movements, say, uh, a 20% reduction in their anxiety level, then we’re turning whatever hope brought them into our office, into belief.
it’s, you know, you might compare it to one of those convincers, but it’s so much more because it’s instructional in nature, we’re actually providing them with this tool that they can use. And I’ve had many, many clients who have endured years of traditional talk therapy, and after experiencing the results of this emotional detox technique, they’ve stared at me and they’ve said, Kelly, why didn’t anybody teach me this In all those years?
And we’re giving them the power, We’re giving them the control, and kids can learn this too. Empowering a client with the ability to shift states is an amazing thing. I don’t think it can be undervalued. Yeah, and I’d share the fun story of, uh, licensed clinical social worker who was in my office as a client herself.
And that was the exact strategy that I used very early on in the process. Uh, and I think it’s the James trip line of, um, this is a hypnosis, but we’ll show you what some of it feels like was kind of my intro. And I think that says, um, I’ve heard it from Melissa Tears saying it was his. So there we go.
There’s lineage. So the experience though, of doing that strategy, The, the follow up was immediately, What the hell was that? It’s like, Why? She goes, Because the fear is completely gone now. I can’t remember. . Yes. And to get that immediate win, that small win. You know, the same way that that’s part of the nuance of the convincers to the hypnotist of here’s a moment where they’re getting that feedback, that something hypnotic is going on.
Yet we can satisfy that same intention by getting a result in motion very early on, getting that foot and the door of the change process. Absolute we’re exciting. Their imagination there for, and increasing that expectation that whatever else we’re gonna be doing is going to work too. And I love these kinds of very simple processes because we can flex them to suit who is in front of us.
So if I have a, a very logical mind. Um, left brainer sitting in front of me, and I’m generalizing when I use that term. Uh, I can explain the neuroscience of what we’re doing, that we’re going to get them out of that entrenched, um, habit that they’ve been having, whether it was a FOD or a feeling, and.
Detour out of it and create some more helpful ones. And, you know, when I refer to making these kinds of changes, I’ve, I’ve let go of assigning a, a negative or a positive, um, feeling to these I use helpful or unhelpful. Yes. And I just think that’s so much more, uh, meaningful to, to a person because it releases that judgment.
Because even if they haven’t been consciously, Choosing to feel this way or behave this way. I’m just even calling it negative or bad. And often they’ll use that, that term themselves. Just that reframe of unhelpful and helpful does something. It shifts something. Mm-hmm. and, you know, I think this is where the, the real finesse lies in what we do.
So much can be done before we even get to the formal stuff, as Michael Elner used to say. Then that’s just the. where, you know, we can deepen things and add suggestions based on what they’ve given us. But I think that, number one, I consider myself an instructor to my clients. Yes. And I wanna give them, I wanna give them information.
I wanna give them tools that they can carry outta my office and continue with, And I’ve been doing this for years. It works. They come back, people that first arrive that are hopeless, helpless, who confide later that they were at the end of their rope. And I’m not a licensed, uh, mental health professional.
So I certainly, if I knew that they were. Um, having suicidal thoughts, I, I would need to refer them out. Thank goodness, most of them don’t tell me that. Mm-hmm. so I can actually help them. And, um, you know, time and time again, these people show up and, and I’m a last resort for them and they have very little hope, but within 10 or 15 minutes, I can just see that spark come in their eye and they’re starting to believe it.
Wait a minute. . Maybe there is something here and then we can fly with that. Yeah. Well, I mean, it’s that strength that we really gain from the fact that they’re very often coming to the work with us and they’ve never worked with us. And even beyond that, they’ve likely never done this hypnosis work. And we get so much leverage from the fact of we do things differe.
Yes. And you know, I think that even how we present ourselves can, can give them that idea and, you know, you, you brought to to mind an idea that I’ve had for some, quite some time. . I don’t believe that people are afraid of hypnosis. Yeah. I think they’re afraid of doing hypnosis with someone they don’t know.
Hmm. And, and so how do we get them to be more comfortable with us? Well, it comes down to everything. And you know, it’s all about the relationships, right? So whether that relationship is, is preformed before they ever meet us because someone has worked with us and is referring them on or. Take a glance at our website.
I’ve had many people, and I don’t have a super professional website. I made it all myself. . Mm-hmm. . And, but, but clients have said there was just something about it. There was something about it. I knew you were for me. And so this is that Inde indefinable, um, magical. Stuff of what we do that, that I love, and I love the science part of it too, but it’s about the relationships.
And I think that that’s, you know, one of the most underrated aspect of, of hypnotherapy is the relationship, the therapeutic relationship that we form. You know, Carl Rogers talked about unconditional positive regard. And I hold that for every single client, no matter what I, I just clear myself and I find that, and I believe in them, and I know they feel that, and then they start modeling that belief and there we go.
We’re on our way. You mentioned in terms of how you present yourself, so any thoughts in particular in terms of how you’ve gone about your process and how you present your.
Well, I’m, you know, I think that a, a big part of building rapport is really listening in an active way and, you know, we have. Trainings for that, and we read about how to do that. But how do you actually give your client your undivided attention? If you’re thinking about what techniques you’re gonna be using or you’re thinking about what you’re gonna have for lunch or some other urgent thing in, in going on in your life, then they’re obviously gonna be picking up on that and you’re not gonna be having, making, creating that kind of relationship that you want.
And children are excellent at this by the. Kids can tell when someone is genuine or someone is just, you know, patronizing them or putting up with them, um, you know, really keeping the focus on them and, and, and looking through their eyes and, you know, that doesn’t mean empathizing because I think that gets a lot of people in our, in our business in trouble.
Yes. When. When they start to take on the emotions of what that client is, is feeling and, and their actual suffering, and of course sympathy. We can all feel sorry for someone, but really having compassion, That’s when we hold a person in an eye of compassion and, and listen some in a way, Roger Moore described as heart listening.
Then we can help them from that. Where we’re still able to draw on our own resources and, and say the right things at the right times. Now, I think it’s also important to normalize what the client is going through. I, they’ve heard from lots of other sources that how they’re feeling or doing is wrong and to come and have a safe place where we agree that being traumatized by something like that and having these kinds of symptoms is quite normal.
It’s not a disorder. that can be pretty. . Yeah. And I love the mindset of not necessarily empathi empathizing with it, of we can, you know, we can appreciate what they’ve been through. We can have, I’m always hesitant to use the word understand, but have some understanding as to how they would feel the way that they feel based on the events of their life.
Yet there’s a challenge that if you go into that problem state, if we wanna label it that way, problem state with them, uh, that’s where likely the two of you may end up hanging out a little too long. As opposed to here’s Okay. You know, create the mental snapshot of Oh, great, there’s the before. Let’s together find out what the after is.
That’s right. And, and jumping as quickly as possible to what that after is. Mm-hmm. . And, you know, and I think in particular that’s really important with children because they’ve heard about the problem over and over and over. And now here’s someone d. Who’s asking them what the solution might be. And when I work with kids, I’ll even, um, ask them to help me with another kid who has a similar problem that’s makes some good stuff, or I’ll switch places with the kid.
I’ll lay down on my couch and put them in once. Any chair and say that, Wow, this is this terrible doctor, what should I do? So I remember one little kid, he was about five, and, and he came in with his parents cuz he’d been kicked out of numerous preschools cuz he had temper tantrums. And he just stared at me like I was crazy.
And, and then he said, You need to take a breather. And then he taught me a good breathing lesson. So . That was great and Jason, sometimes some, it’s that easy and sometimes I feel like, Man, I should be paying this kid . Well, I think it’s Melissa Tier has the story of working with a child who comes in already doing one of her techniques because he learned it from his friend who’d already worked with her.
Yeah. And just the, the, the insight, I mean to, I always think of it as you’ve got a little adult in the room and here’s, I, I always have to edit the details of the story because I worked at a theatrical summer camp one year, uh, when I was in college and down the road was the big wellness camp. Uh, which nickname as it classically is, is that’s the fat camp.
And I find out that this kid is coming to the office and. As a side note to what we’re addressing. He’s coming in for something else and just happens to be overweight, happens to be going to this specific camp that, uh, you know, I find out, oh, that’s the one that I don’t use the phrasing of. Oh yeah. We used to drink with the other counselors at the one bar in town.
Oh no. We used to hang out with the other counselors, and I, I knew enough about it to go. Uh, and oh, it’s mother’s going. Oh, it’s a wellness camp and he’s nine years old. 10, 11 years. So going, Mom, it’s called a fat camp cuz I’m gonna leave all my fat. . Yeah. And the two of us just do the slow turn and go. He really just said that and I knew the format of their camp was identical to the one that I worked at, which was a different environment, but, Oh, is he doing a three week, uh, sample or is he gonna do the full summer?
Well, you know, he’s gonna go for about a week or two and if he likes it, he’ll do more next year. Mom, I’m gonna be there all 13 weeks. That’s gonna be the best summer of my life. Oh, I love it. It’s like, I wanna hang out with this kid, these kid’s awesome . Oh, I love it. And you know, kids will tell you. They will tell you the truth.
I, I and sometimes their truth is not real. And that’s okay. We understand that paradigm because we play in, in the part of our, our imagination that feels like it’s real no matter what it is. And I remember, um, One kid I was helping on an online session, he had developed a fear of going in the woods and their family was really nature oriented and they lived near the woods.
And, um, and so, I was talking to him a little bit about, he was really into technology and computers and video games about how his, I use the metaphor of his brain being like a computer and, and that fear program got downloaded and would it be okay if, if we got rid of that? And he said, Certainly that would be fantastic.
So we had, we had a great session. I think I used a, that NLP technique, the direct, the, the director’s technique with him. And he loved it cuz he was also into performance. And at the end of it, he, he was a little teary. It, it was really emotional for this kid. And so his mother handed him a, a Kleenex and he blew his nose.
And, and, and I said, Well, what do you think? What happened to that fear program? And he said, I just blew it outta my nose, . , it was great. So, you know, just give them some tools and, and they’ll run with it. Mm-hmm. . But yeah, so, you know, there’s so many ways, so many ways to help people and I think that like, you know, at the beginning of the conversation, talking about having a variety of approaches so that.
you’re not trying to force clients into things that don’t fit them. That I think that’s where we get these ideas of resistant clients and I don’t really believe in that. If someone is going to the trouble to make an appointment to come and see me paying me their hard earned money and investing, um, you know, Personal time and sharing personal things with me.
They want change. And you know, I feel the same thing, the same way about things like secondary gain. I think Melissa had told me she thinks of it as primary gain and, and I like that frame too. So, you know, I think it’s important that as, as hypnotists that we recognize what limiting beliefs might be holding us back and find some ways to reframe.
And to me that’s what modern hypnosis is about. So I mean, it’s where I have Michael Elner forever in the back of my mind of, you know, hearing the dialogue of someone saying, I have a very high success rate with stop smoking, because I screen them extremely heavily. If they don’t answer these questions exactly, I won’t see them.
And he just responded in his style. You’re only taking the easy ones, . Yeah, it’s to see, see them as they are. If we want to get into a parts model, part of them clearly is motivated because they’re making that decision to pick up the phone and call, and it’s about us finding that mechanism to either help facilitate that change or I love this mindful hypnosis attitude of what are the strategies I can put in their hands that they can come to that realization for themself.
Absolutely, and, and these mindful hypnosis techniques are perfect for people who are making big changes like that because we know that we can’t just take away a coping mechanism like smoking without replacing it with something even better. And so when we give them those tools, those techniques, it’s amazing.
I’ve got a, uh, a fellow who has had chronic pain for quite some time. He’s a, a veteran and he is waiting for the VA to authorize his knee replacements. In the meantime, uh, he’s really been suffering and of course people that are suffering with chronic pain. Have depression and sleep issues and you know, a whole handful of other things that go along with it.
And so he arrived in a pretty dejected mood at my office and especially cuz I’m on the second floor and there’s no elevator. It took him a while to mount those stairs. Uh, but somewhere along the line things shifted and he stared at me and he said, What’s happen? And I said, Don’t ask me . I’m just your tour director here,
And you know, I, I think maybe in the last 10 minutes of the session, he actually closed his eyes. Now, what do you think would’ve happened if I had insisted that he closed his eyes? That we couldn’t do this until he closed his eyes? So, you know, I u I tend to agree a lot with. with my clients if they tell me that no one’s been able to hypnotize them.
I agree. If they tell me that their doctor has told them that they have to live with us. I agree. But then somewhere along the way we find that those beliefs are changing from within them, and then they tell me a, a new version of it. And I agree with that. . So it’s about that flexibility in the process in terms of how it, you know, modifies to them and what they’re currently going through and what their issue is.
And again, building that better system where we’re helping them to. I, I love that aspect of being okay with the fact that, um, you know, we didn’t get the eye closure to the very end of the session. Uh, and the mindset of, well, that’s just how it was supposed to go. . Exactly. And it’s, and it’s not necessary.
We know that. Right. You know, we, um, activated states of hypnosis all over the place. We, we all do it all the time. And when we educate our clients to this, then that opens up doors. You know? I know, I remember, um, Alan and, and Michael teaching me, um, a range of. Ways that they, that they would teach their quantum focusing to a client where first they’re seated and relaxed and maybe even closing their eyes to activate their imagination.
Then they teach it to them when they’re standing up. And lastly, they have them utilize that technique while they’re walking. And how cool is that so that they can actually take it out into their day and, and use. . Yeah. So finding the flexibility of it rather than, I always, as much as I have my own products that I sell general public, that the catchphrase is i’ll, you know, and this is modeled from things I’ve learned from you, from reading your books, from reading things of Melissa, Michael, and many others too, of, you know, rather than the scenario of I don’t feel good, I need a dark room and a CD player for 45 minutes.
Instead integrating things you can do practically anytime, anywhere, and nobody knows you’re doing something and have that ability to, to shift that state of mind to something else as soon as you’re aware of whatever was there before. E. Exactly. And I think that you know this, when we offer these kinds of answers, these kinds of solutions to people, then they’re gonna actually start to use them.
And we think about it, and pretty much everybody, when you wake up, you have some certain level of tension in your body. And as you engage with life, that tension level goes up. And if you’re not using some of these strateg, You’re gonna arrive at a point in the day, maybe in Midafternoon, maybe at the end of the day, where your body is so stressed and tired from that, that then, you know, that’s when people are gonna be looking for some solutions, like, you know, an alcoholic drink or you know, Some mind numbing things so they can check out.
But if they were to be using these mindful hypnosis approaches, they can kind of reboot themselves throughout the day so that at the end of the day they’re feeling okay. Mm-hmm. , they’re ahead of that tension. They’re ahead of that. Stress is no different than how a doctor, a pain doctor might recommend that a person takes their pain meds on a a, a specific schedule to stay ahead of.
Um, heightened peaks. And if, you know, if they don’t, the pain can get so high that they can’t bring ’em down again. And this is, this is a similar approach, I think, and it makes sense to people when we present it that way. And, you know, I’m a real believer. I know you are too. Abusing humor and or even just laughter, unconditional laughter that’s not based on humor.
Dave Berman and I wrote a book on that. Yes. And. And when appropriate, you know, we’re never laughing at the client. We wanna laugh with them, or I don’t mind if clients laugh at me. I’ve got a fart machine in my grower , and every then I’m known to activate it . But, uh, I’m just giving them permission to laugh because some of them haven’t.
Had any fun in a long time and explaining the science, how the body doesn’t know the difference between real laughter or fake laughter. So you know, if they’re su finding themselves susceptible to road rage, they can just laugh at, laugh it off when they’re driving, or they can laugh in the shower or they can laugh at the pain and see what happens.
Beautiful, beautiful. So how can people learn more about this approach to mindful hyn? Well, uh, Roger Moore and I are doing a, a one day, uh, training at Hypno Thoughts Live in August. Um, so you can go to the HT live.net website and see our offering there. You can find a book that we wrote, um, The Hope Coaching.
Practitioners Guide, which is on Amazon, and all these things are on my website too, which is woods hypnosis.com. I’ve got a, a page there with all my books, so you can either read about it, but of course, taking a a live training is the best. Awesome. And we’ll put links to all that over in the show notes [email protected]
Before we wrap things up, I, I gotta get the update on the, probably one of the websites that I recommend the most, uh, but I don’t really have access to myself. Uh, and that of course is the whole hypnotic women community. It’s a lovely community. Yeah. We’re doing just fine. I would say the water’s fine, but you cannot come in
I send a lot of people in your direction, but what? Thank you. And I apologize to all of our brothers out there and you know, we are always talking wonderful things about you. We love you. So for those that aren’t familiar with it, what’s the, what’s the mission behind hypnotic? Hypnotic women is just a, a gathering place for professional women who work professionally in, in hypnosis, whether they’re, um, clinicians or stage hypnotists, or maybe they’re, um, medical professional who also uses hypnosis, but they’re, they’re all certified hypnotherapist, hypnotists, and, um, it’s just our place to share information, inspire each other.
Sometimes we. Talking honestly about certain cases and get feedback and share resources. And I know, um, I’ve got a, uh, a thread there that’s reserved for promotional things and, and your, your name comes up there regularly. So when we have positive experiences with instructors and training, we, we boost them there in that forum too.
Oh, thank you. Thank you. And where can people go to find out more? , they can just look for hypnotic women in Facebook and the group will come up and, um, you’ll need to be approved. I have Marion Rob from Scotland is my COAD admin on there, and she does a great job helping me wrangle these over 2,500 women.
Wow. Yeah, it’s a great force positive.
Jason, Lynette here once again and as always, thank you so much for sharing this program, for subscribing to it, for leaving your reviews online. And I’ll share the stage and this final wrap up here to encourage you to head over to work smart hypnosis.com and look at the show notes for this page cuz we’re to link to all of Kelly’s books.
Uh, there in the show notes. If you’re wondering which one to get, I can comfortably say buy them all. I have them all. I’ve read them. They’re phenomenal and they have greatly influenced the work that I do. So check those out. The show notes [email protected] will give you direct links to make it easy to access all those books or just.
Search her on Amazon or her own website. And while you’re online too, check out hypnotic workers.com. It’s the all access pass to my hypnosis training library. Get started the day for just $47, hundreds of hours of content at your fingertips. That’s hypnotic workers.com. I will see you soon. Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast and work smart hypnosis.com.