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This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 207. Steve Miller on Fatus. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette. Wow. This is a conversation that has a ton of takeaways inside of it, A lot of interesting discoveries and points of view, which may not be the standard that’s out there.
And I’ll just go ahead and kick this off appropriately, uh, by saying that this might not be a conversation for everybody, though I’d share the further into this dialogue that Steve and I went, the more I was realizing that this is an aspect that many of us can start to model, let’s say, in our own unique ways that allows us to let the entire process becomes.
Even more hypnotic in nature. Uh, Steve Miller joins me from over in the uk and really what puts Steve on the map is a kind of well blatantly direct, uh, very authoritative methodology of working specifically with weight loss clients and under the branding of Fat Osis. And you’re gonna hear some rather colorful language.
You’re gonna hear some rather abrupt dialogues inside of this. And what I find to be interesting about this, and let’s kind of rewind this whole dialogue back a little bit further, Uh, the original, the origin story of the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast was that very early in my hypnosis training. I was introduced to kind of an absolute way of looking at the world around me that this is the one method that produces change.
If you’re not using this one technique or one specific system, you’re not gonna get permanent results. And the further into this community, I went, uh, let’s expand that old metaphor. The Kool-Aid was going bad. I was no longer drinking that Kool-Aid. Now, at its core though, I’m not one who steps back and goes, These are bad people.
You know, in some of these protocols, yes, these folks do teach some of those individual strategies. I’ll say it better than most, yet the idea that it has to be this one specific thing, uh, otherwise it’s not gonna work. Well, that’s BS and let’s throw that out. And as a business guy myself, that’s what we call marketing, uh, as opposed to a real tested, proven statement.
So what’s interesting though is that sometimes you start to find some interesting, popular opinions, and yet, by breaking outta that bubble, that often, sometimes trainings want us to fall inside of, uh, instead you start to discover there’s something else beneath it. . So, you know, when you hear some of the language that Steve’s makes use of in this conversation, recognize that at its core it does begin as we eventually get, uh, all, uh, fancy with our hypnotic language patterns and refer to it instead as the pattern interrupt, which then is creating that elmanian opening wedge to then fire off a very specific, positive and very much loving, heart filled statement.
So he is not using this language to put down his client. If anything, as I talk about rapport in the idea of moving toward the intended outcome as opposed to reinforcing the negative state, he’s using this confrontational style of language. To kind of call out the positioning that they’ve gotten into, but then immediately follow it up with here’s how you’re gonna take better care of yourself.
Here’s how, as he Lovely says, we’re going to smash it together. He also does a great job of listening for this moment a little bit later in the conversation where there’s something to be said about recognizing, and I’m gonna use this phrase in the most positive, loving way I can. Uh, there are certain things.
Some of us can get away with, and some of us can’t quite get away with, and you’ll hear me tell the story around a specific stage hypnosis routine, that if I was the younger male in my thirties doing this bit with, uh, high school teenagers, it was creepy. But if it was the, let’s call it the more grandmother character running the routine, it was hilarious.
So, to be aware of what your, let’s call it type, what your typical communication pattern is, though, really the essence of this dialogue is on top of everything. It’s all customizable. It’s a very different way of approaching how we interact with our clients. And again, the origin story of the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast is all about reaching out to people who are doing some rather interesting work.
And, oh man, this is interesting stuff. And letting this be that place where they can share their opinions and let you, the listener, decide what is appropriate, that’s good fit for you, what’s appropriate for someone else, and if appropriate to then follow forth and get more information on that. So really listen to this dialogue.
Even if some of the dialogue offends you, go check out that grinder, uh, video clip that I mentioned, uh, in this dialogue too, if some of the dialogue challenges you recognize that that’s an opening. Now, it may not be the opening that you would necessarily care for or the dialogue or the model of the world that fits with you yet.
Here’s the thing. In our businesses, in our marketing that push and pull, that propulsion system that Steve and I talk about in this conversation, we are looking to attract the clients that are a perfect fit for how we’re gonna work together. And at the same time, we are looking to propel away those people who are, let’s phrase it this way, not yet a fit for how it is.
We’d work together and I’d be very open and share. Here’s a person who scheduled a call with me yesterday that within three minutes I was referring him to someone. And it’s not from the pro point of view that I couldn’t help him. It was me going, Here’s how you and I would work together and I don’t see that’s a fit.
I think you’d be a better fit with this specific person. They do excellent work. Tell them I said, Hi, I wish you the best, and a huge thank you. They’re now booked and I’m sure this client is gonna do phenomenally well. So what Steve is doing excellently, Is that a word? What he’s doing expertly, We’ll go with that.
One is the fact that, again, attracting those people who, that’s what they’re looking for. That’s what they’re hearing and saying, That’s what I need. Just to give a disclaimer to this, yes, we get off into the dialogue about the gastric banding style weight loss protocols, which at its core is kind of doing the same thing.
It’s getting people to respond to a metaphor and say, That’s what I need. That’s what’s going to help me. And by responding to that, they are giving you that hypnotic contract to say they want. So with that client, I can run the metaphor of the gastric band. The same as the person who’s coming in for quitting smoking is already buying into the idea that they’re gonna throw their cigarettes out here.
All they have to do is nothing, and they’re gonna walk out with that result. The person coming in with that fear of success, business mindset is recognizing that I’m gonna call out in a very friendly, loving way, everything that they’re doing to stand in the way of their own success and use all of that old Bs as the catalyst as to every reason why they can create outstanding results in their sessions.
And the same way that Steve is putting forth that energy, that mindset, that character, that, again, from a very genuine place, here’s how we’re gonna smash this problem together. And those people are coming in ready for him to, um, politely call them names and call them out and help them to create the intended result and some amazing success stories along the way.
So, a little bit longer of an introduction here, because it’s where, you know, with without the intro somewhat immediately turn off. Yet, trust me, this is one you’re gonna wanna listen to the entire way through. Check out Steve’s work. I think he’s doing some really fascinating stuff, getting some great results and inspiring others in brand new ways.
And if you’re looking to grow your business, head over to hypnotic business systems.com. Uh, again, so many people are not quite where they ought to be in the shape of their business. And it’s not just the strategy, it’s also the mindset. And hypnotic business systems is where I’ve captured the, what’s working now as well as the, what’s worked in the past library to give you actionable strategies and plans to get out there and promote your business, uh, done for you marketing campaigns, which shortcut the learning cover for you.
And nowadays, we’re actually offering that now. All access pass. You can check that out [email protected] and start growing your success right away. In fact, there’s the opportunity to sign up on a payment plan, which is great cuz I love the testimonial that says I earned my money back on this program and much more even before I finished paying the thing off.
Check that out. Hypnotic business systems.com. And with that, buckle up for a wild ride. This is an amazing conversation. Listen the whole way through. This is session number 207. Steve Miller on Fat.
Oh, the first thing that got me interested in hypnosis was that I had, um, I had panic attacks, but I was also gonna have a wisdom tooth extraction. And I was absolutely crapping my kns at the thought of having it done. So what I did was I contacted a local hypnotherapist. This is, this is like 20 years ago, and.
It was brilliant. So I was so inspired by it. I thought to myself, Do you know what? I’m gonna train in this. So there you go. I went and I found that I was really good at it, mainly because, actually I believe that there needs to be a little bit of drama in HSIs. Mm-hmm. , because I believe that h if, uh, a hypnotherapy session is to bee, then the power of the suggestion is pretty.
Right. Yeah. And I, What do you think is behind that? Because I share my thought on that is that they’re calling us because they’re looking for a hypnotist. They have an expectation that they’ve already created in their mind, and if we’re a little too, I love that term, beige. If they’re a little too beige in that delivery of it, then it kind of brings about the classic, Well, I, I fell relaxed.
I don’t know if I was actually hypnotized. Yes. You see, I will disagree on what you said at the start, because actually I think they call us for a result. Mm-hmm. , the client calls me. When people call me. They want me to either stop them being fat. Um, make them more confident for certain things such as a job interview or a, a business interview or a, a public speaking engagement.
And they want a result. That’s what they want. And actually they don’t really care about what hypnosis is. I mean, they have a little interest, but it’s kind of, you know, they’ve heard of hypnosis and its application to helping me, helping them lose weight and helping them become more confident and to become less anxious and in certain situations.
And that’s where the focus is. And I’m very assertive with clients as well in the, I say I always start a session with asking them, well, always, not always, but most of the time by saying to them, you know, What is it today you want me to put into your head? Because that is exactly what I’m going to. Nice.
And, and you know, I, I’ve kind of found the Steve Miller way and it works beautifully. 20, you know, when I started in hypnosis, I was useless. And I was useless because I was a head tilter. I was a head tilter to the left doing, you know, let’s take you through the me dose with your bare feet and feel the rain forward on you.
It achieved very little, if anything, and it was the day that my, I said to my partner, cause I was so frustrated with it all, I said, You know what? I just wanna tell these people like it is, especially the weight loss. Cause that became the niche. And he said, Well, why don’t you then? And I thought, do you know what?
Absolutely. And from that day forward, I’ve not looked back. Yeah. So for those that aren’t familiar with your work, and I, I’d give you the audience a little bit of a perspective here. I’m on your website at the moment and, uh, you know, folks in my crowd have heard me talk about how you want to thingify your offering.
That rather than sign up for my, uh, you know, newsletter, which the playful phrase is nobody wants your damn newsletter. Uh, instead give them something specific. And you know, I’m on your website, uh, your weight loss master.co.uk and there’s one thing of course that says 21 Tactics to fit to kill your food cravings, which that’s excellent.
And then I scroll down further and I see the outstanding headline of, um, you probably are already smiling cuz you know where I’m going with this. Uh, the opt-in offer of how not to be a massive fatty. Yeah. And do you know what? People love it. Well, they love it or hate it and. My per, you know, my personality is, is very straight.
It’s very practical, but it’s very caring as well. And the opt-in. The opt-in that you refer to. The way that I’ve actually, if you, if we’re talking about business here, the way that I’ve always got people to opt in is yes, I’ve used the odd Facebook advert, but actually I jump online and I tell them to opt in.
But I tell them the benefits of opting in. Yes. And what I do, and I say this to all hip therapists, you’ve got to have that level of conviction, confidence and credibility. Three Cs, conviction, confidence, credibility. If you don’t have that, you are completely fucked to be quite frank with you. That’s my, my belief.
Um, but I think people can nurture that. I do believe that. Not all, I think there’s some dreadful hip therapists out there, , but there are also some damn good ones and there’s some in the middle that need to just step up and, you know, engage with those three. So let’s talk about that conviction side of things
Cuz there’s the, the classic story of Jerry Kind would tell the students, no matter what they call for, tell them, Oh yeah, I work with that all the time. That’s easy. The which to be cautious around that. If someone’s calling for something that clearly you’ve never heard of before, yet to put it into the perspective of yes, I can help you with that.
You know, the classic line of the first person, you hypnotize being yourself, though again, they’re reaching out to us because yes, they want to create that change and to really let, let’s call it out. We’re selling the result, we’re selling the effectiveness as much as we’re selling every step of the process.
Yes. I think what we are selling as well is our, ourselves. We’re selling ourselves because you see, I believe with hypnosis, it’s, it’s not all about the eye closure stuff. Mm-hmm. , I think it’s very much about. Uh, what people read about us, what people see from our marketing online, from what people see when we jump on live Facebook, live feed.
And by the way, suddenly emo therapists are terrified of doing that. God knows why, because they treat public speaking. And, uh, and, and, and those are the core suggestions. And I have to say this, and this is not about being arrogant. It’s true, is, is um, with my fatties, and I do call them fatties and you know, some of the therapists will say, Oh, you shouldn’t be call ’em fatter.
I say, Oh, fat off. So what I say is, you know, with a lot of those guys that I’ve helped, and there’s a lot of them, is I often don’t do very much, no, what, what would call hypnosis because it’s the way that I talk to, I believe in a form of hypnosis, is talking eyeball to. And it’s about that person feeling.
You know, my goal is to get that person to really feel that they have belief in the belief that they will achieve whatever it is they want to achieve simply by conversing with me. Now I believe that hypnosis, and I believe the good people can do that. Yes, so, I, I, I’d share my personal take on it, which is one that really drew me to look at your stuff originally and also why we’re having this conversation, which is somebody who used to be about maybe 70, 80 pounds heavier than I am now, there’s power in using the words that we’re actually using on ourselves.
That here’s someone who is putting forth, and yes, for every specific thing, there’s gonna be an audience for one and an audience for the other. Yes. Yet to look at, you know, Oh, you can do this for yourself, and all the positive language and all this encouraging language that unfortunately, you know, maybe 20 years ago when I was, that size wasn’t the language that I was using on myself, that I look at a website like yours, and those are the words that, are they good?
Are they positive? That’s not the dialogue. That was where I was inside of it. And to use that in such a way that now that grabs the a. Oh, absolutely. And, and you know, and it reminds me of one of my, um, marketing posters or whatever you call it, a digital one, which actually says, um, don’t be a fat bitch. Be a slim one.
Instead. Now, and weirdly, because the audience I go for is mainly women, is they love it because they call themselves that. Mm-hmm. . So what I do with this rapport bit, I guess is I say, yes, of course at the moment you’ll calling that yourself that, but I tell you what, let’s be a slim one instead. And the amount of laughter I get, the amount of buyin I immediately get is fantastic.
And I think you are right. You got to use to a degree the language that people are using themselves so that you connect with. Well, I mean it’s a bringing about a level of being provocative in the process in such a way that is respectful and is kind of meeting people where they are. That we look at this classic mindset of, Oh, I’m gonna sit like you sit, I’m gonna use your words and now you’re going to like me.
That may not be the best intention, especially if you’re not, You know what, Jason? I was, I trained. You already trained with your head. We’re on the same page. . I, yeah. I was trained in all of this NLP stuff and it’s wonderful and all that. Do you know what? I’ve bend it and I tell you why, because I, I found all this.
Cross your leg when they cross the leg and lift your arm. When they lift your arm and say these words. Cause they’re saying them. You know, it was so knackering that I was just thinking, I didn’t even know what we’re talking about. I’m just copying it. And since I’ve become myself more free in the way I engage with people, My results are so much better.
My results well, that we can build better rapport by moving towards the outcome. Do you, I, this is my view on rapport, right? You tell people something, Let me get this right. You tell the person what they really want, but the way you construct the language has to be very emotively strong. So let me give you an example.
Mm-hmm. , and, and a lot of hypnos will know this often I will say to, uh, a client, um, of course, you are too gorgeous to be fat, you know? And, um, and I will say, no more the fatty. And I will say the, you know, like I mentioned earlier of, you know, don’t be the fat bitch. Be the slim one instead, because that’s the language they use.
And it’s no wonder that so many fat people adore Steve Miller. Mm-hmm. , It’s mainly a portion of hypnotherapist that, um, They’re starting to get it now, but they certainly didn’t in the early days. God knows why. Um, but they, they’ve come round and then, you know, that’s why Osis was born. Osis was born because I didn’t particularly find a lot of models that were out there, were inspiring the public.
Mm-hmm. and, um, all of this, you know, pretend you’ve had an operation and you’ll be thin. Um, I, you know, I just didn’t find it was very, it didn’t work for me and I found that what worked for people better was something stronger. And that’s not about being horrible, but something that’s more authoritarian, constructively authoritarian, something that is positively aspirational and also humorous at times.
Mm-hmm. . Because if I, I know when I, when a client, when I’ve got a client laughing Yes. As well as I’m being direct with them. Well, I, Their weight just falls off them. Just falls off them. But I tell you now, if I was doing walk in the Meadow or walking to the mentally, imagine you’re walking into an operating theater and you’re having a, a gastric band.
I’m telling you now, my results would behi. Mm-hmm. because was, maybe it’s because I don’t believe in all that. I dunno. Maybe I’d project that, That’s probably the argument, you know? Well, I’d say what’s, what the strength is, is you found the way to bring you into the process in such a way that it is entirely focused on the client’s wellbeing.
It’s entirely focused on benefiting them and, and that use of humor and let’s call it out, that ability at times to shock the mind. If we want to get really creative with our hypnotic terminology, you know, there’s that pattern interrupt, there’s that opening wedge to the mind. I, I share, there’s the story years.
which the end of the story first, this guy was successful and has sent at least 10 people since we met, but he’s on the phone with me. His goal is to quit smoking. And no matter what question he asks me, he’s interrupting me when I answer. You know, he’s being very abrasive. He’s being very short with me and just not giving me the chance to actually answer the question he’s just asked.
And finally I see the window where he goes, I don’t know. Is this gonna change me? And I just have to respond. Well, sir, respectfully, it sounds like you’re a bit of an asshole, and by the time we’re done, you’ll still be an asshole, but you’ll be an asshole who doesn’t smoke. Yeah. And the silence was a little too long to be comfortable, but he now responds perfectly.
I like you. Let’s do this. Yes. And now do you know what, I dunno if it’s a culture thing, but I find Americans are much more able to communicate with the client like you’ve just described, really? Yes. And maybe generalizing stereotype. My experience tells me of engaging with both countries and cultures and hippotherapy people is that the Americans tend to be more direct or they feel more comfortable to be direct.
Mm-hmm. not all. Um, over here we have such a pool of, uh, waterfall healing bloody pioneers that, that still think that hypnosis is all about relaxing people in a chair. Mm-hmm. . And unfortunately, I don’t think it delivers the results. I don’t. No, it might be very nice, but I say to people, you know, they might as well go for a massage.
Well, it’s what you said earlier about that experience that Yes, the sitting there eye to eye, having the conversation and changing that belief structure, that’s just as much hypnosis as close your eyes. And now here’s this magical moment of phenomenon that really, if we’re using that hypnotic process at the end, let’s use that to kind of ratify the change that we already can see that we’ve said in motion yet.
Now here’s the thing that’s gonna lock that in place even further. Yes. So walk me through it. Someone comes in to work with you, they’ve already, uh, interacted with you by way of, you know, the media, online media elsewhere. How does that process typically kick off with you? Well, they’ll walk in and if the person’s really fat, Um, I will say, I will say to them, My God, we’ve got a bit to work on it with Mad Darling, but we are gonna sort it, right?
Mm-hmm. . So, and uh, another example would be, and it’s a true story. A lady sits in front of me and says, uh, a single lady who wants to date again. And she says, Ooh, ER’s gonna look at me looking like this Steve. And she’s very, very fat. And I turn to her and I say at the moment, my darling, very few people will, because most men aren’t chubby chasers.
And I’ll tell you what she said to me, How refreshing, No one’s ever told me that it’s bloody true. And she laughed her head off. And I said, But we are gonna sort it beautiful. And do you know what we did? And she went on to get a much younger man and good honor. Um, but you see, if I was sitting there talking about, Oh, but it’s important you are, you need to value you and you know, love yourself and all of this, what I’m doing in my common sense tells me I’m just telling her to accept being a big fatty who no man will look at.
And that’s her, her world. And she’d probably be really disappointed because I’m just saying, Yeah, life shit. Where actually I need to inspire her. And to inspire her is about what you said, patent interrupt, which is, yes, you are too fat at the moment. It is unlikely most men won’t be interested in you, but by God are we gonna change this?
And that’s when my tempo of communication changes. So I’ve, I’ve kind of done a, a whack of truth, but then I’ve said, But do you know what? What the indirect suggestion there is, of course is you can believe in me because I’m damn well gonna get this result with you. Yes. Right. And that is the approach I take at the, at the beginning and then really with fact.
With fact it’s all, I mean, there is a session structure, but to be quite honest, it’s all about tailoring it, you know? Mm-hmm. , I, I tailor it, it is what I call an authoritarian protocol. And often people say, Oh, that’s about bullying people. No, it’s not. It’s about delivering suggestion tailored to that person that they want, and delivering that suggestion with one hell of a confidence and one hell of a conviction.
And if I don’t do that, I’ve failed. I, I share a correlation here that, uh, and we’ll link to this in the show notes at, uh, work smart hypnosis.com, that if you look on YouTube and just search John Grinder Alcoholism, there’s a great video. It’s like this extended clip of a lecture where he points his finger at the person coming in to quit drinking and says, I want to congratulate you on successfully becoming an alcoholic.
And I need you to, and I need you to continue to drink, and I’m paraphrasing. I need you to continue to drink excessively. That’s what I need you to do until you and I can find a better way to resolve whatever it’s giving you. Yes. Which is that place of that structure of what you’re saying there. Here’s that thing that is not what they’re expecting to hear, or if they’ve been following you to some degree, they’re kind of expecting that.
And how dare you not deliver that at that point? . Mm-hmm. . But they have this expectation and here you are now, instead of saying you’re fine as you are again, back to the language that they’re using. But then here comes that interrupt and we’re gonna sort this thing out. Yeah. That’s great. Yeah. Oh, absolutely.
All the time. And people often say to me, Oh, do people cry? You know, do do they say to do you make people cry? And I’m like, I make people bloody smile. That’s what I do because I deliver it with warmth. That’s important. I deliver the strong message with warmth. The client knows I’m on their side. They just, I don’t have to say I’m on your side.
They know it. They feel it because it’s in here. In my head I’m projecting that. Um, but in, in 20 years, I think I’ve had three clients that have cried and they’ve, Eva reacted or, you know, they’ve, as they’ve just got upset talking about things. Mm-hmm. , you know, Um, but I make the process. I don’t make it too complex.
I don’t make it too complex. And I read online all the time, you know, about route to cause and all of this, that and the other. And I think to myself, actually, do I really need, you know, and I have had, and do have people that I see that have had, uh, abuse, you know, childhood abuse and all that sort of thing.
And, um, Have I said to people, say to her, Would you say to someone, we’re gonna, you’re gonna move forward and you’re gonna get over it? Well, I wouldn’t quite put it like that, but I tell you what I would say, I would say, You are gonna damn well listen to me. And through the power of hypnosis, we are gonna smash that past so that you create the brightest future that you never, ever imagined you could have.
Trust me, we are gonna sort this. That’s my route to cause Yeah. And that’s my route to cause whatever the cause is and smash it, move on. That’s great. So is there a story of working with someone specifically that kind of highlights, uh, this sort of relationship that you’ve built and the results that you’ve created with people?
You mean my, my clients? Yeah. Specific client that comes to mind. I mean, Jason, there’s so many, but I think, um, well this, I’ll give you two examples there. There was one. Yeah. Here’s two examples is true. The first one is weight and the other one’s not. And I’ll tell you both. The first one, weight loss, disabled lady.
Uh, I’ve worked with quite a lot of disabled people. This one really made me laugh. And she, she arrived and she was in her wheelchair, and I husband bought, and she came in and she said, Look at me, blah, blah, blah. Just tell, just tell me. Get it in my head. I need you to put it in my head that I’m gonna not eat as much.
In all of that typical stuff, I did one session and I did it strong. Okay? I was, I said, Right what? I started, what is it you want me to put in your head? Because that’s exactly what I’m gonna do today. And it was all about control. It’s often about control with, with people with weight issues. So it was all about control.
So I blasted it straight up. Two years later, I heard from that lady, she lost all the weight. She said something, Click that day, Steve. And she said, You know, I get embarrassed with praise, but she did say You changed, you completely changed my life. That was, that was one disabled lady, fat, miserable, blah, blah, blah.
You know? And she went for it. And then the other one, another true story I love this one is where a lady had, hadn’t been out the house for about two years and uh, her husband called me and said, Would you see her? Cuz we’ve heard about you and I think sh you are what she needs. And I said, Okay. So anyway, she agreed to come and see me and get in the car, came to my room.
And again, it was the same process and she hadn’t been out the house two, two years. Straight up story. And I said, again, What is it you want me to put into her head? Because that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Did all that. And then at the end of it, I said to her, Right, What you will do now, madam, is you will go home, you will.
Put on your walking shoes, you will walk around your estate and you will message me as you are doing it. No excuses. You are going to do it. She did it. Mm-hmm. . And then the week after she went to London on her own, on a shopping trip thing, you know, and it’s, there’s something in, and don’t get me wrong, I don’t poo poo all analytical hypnosis and all of that.
I don’t. But there is something very strong and powerful about being warmly, warmly, authoritarian. I mean, to even go back and look at some of the work of Milton Erickson, as much as people would credit that, oh, it’s a more indirect style of work. There are some extremely direct stories. Yes. You know, here’s the day that, you know, climbed to the top of this hill in Arizona and collect your thoughts.
And the reason he was doing that was that, again, kind of on the strand of the conversation here, was someone who, the intention of that was to realize how out of shape they had. Hm. You know, so that was the intention telling the person who was wetting the bed. Well, what time do you normally do that? Three in the morning.
Okay, good. Set your alarm for 2 45, Stand up and do it on purpose. Yeah. And, and these, which of course, the person didn’t do that. Yeah. And yet also stop, we the bed. Find this place where that environmental suggestion, which I love the aspect of, well call out a previous conversation on here. I had Felix Eco Mockus on a while ago, and just talking about that responsibility side, that here’s what you’re gonna do.
You’re gonna get out, you’re gonna walk and you’re gonna text me the entire way through. Um, behind me on the shelf is, uh, Four Hour Body by the author of Timothy Ferris. And he tells the story. I think it’s in that book of talking with a friend, and here’s someone without any formal hypnosis or NLP training, but does this stuff beautifully.
In that book, he tells the story of helping a friend lose about a hundred pounds. And how did he do it? Well, you know what? Over the next, over the next year, you can eat whatever you. Whenever you want, go ahead and eat it. But you have to text me a photo of it before you eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which the story goes, The friend never sent a single photo yet.
Drop the weight. Yeah. Amazing, isn’t it? So I think the other, there’s one other actually that I wanna talk about. Yeah. Which is one other one which, um, is a lady, a very, um, affluent lady, um, aligned to the legal profession and uh, as well as other stuff. And, and I said to her, What is it you want me to put in your head?
Cause that’s what I’m gonna do today. And she said to me, I want you to put into my head that if I don’t do something, I will remain a fat bitch that no man will ever wanna make love. And I said, Right, you are a fat bitch that no one man would ever want to make love to. But my, uh, and again, I go through, you know, so I’ve, I’ve kind of finger wagged and then I go the cuddle stuff with the inspirational stuff and we’re gonna sort it and we’re gonna enjoy it.
And you are gonna have more men looking at your ass then you’ve known in years. Now I can get away with that cuz I’m gay. I understand that. But it just illustrates that actually when you get on the level of what your client really wants, you’ve got, that’s rapport for me because you are talking their world.
and what you’re not doing is disagreeing by saying things like, Oh, but you are lovely the way you know you are lovely inside. And all of that wet stuff, which back to the rapport, I mean, that’s building rapport back to where the problem was as opposed to the reason they’ve hired you for your service is helping them move forward.
I love the theme you just brought up there, which is that at times, you know, here’s that aspect of who we are. That, you know, can become every reason why I can get away with something a little bit differently. I’m, uh, my character trait is I’m five foot four, so rather small. And here’s the big, massive, massive guy who comes in and just the state of that, you know, he’s standing and I’m standing and it looks like I’m sitting, uh,
There are things that I can get away with in that environment. I look to what got me started in all of this is the stage hypnosis that I was doing programs for schools. And again, to have that moment where here’s the massive person who’s standing and towering over me, when meanwhile here’s a female stage hypnotist that can do, you know, the, the dance with the hypnotist bit and you’re gonna get jealous if you see someone dancing with me.
Yeah. Which me as the, um, oh, let’s call it out attractive, 36 year old male, uh, . Mm-hmm. , I couldn’t get away with that as easily as someone else, let’s say. Uh, without any negativity towards this next, you know, judgment style, but here’s the grandmother character. Mm. That she can play that differently. So I’m curious in training other people, cuz this is something you teach, what are some of those modifications that you’ve seen people do to make it more their style that fits with their personality, with their character?
Well, first of all, I’m, I’m a bit ized myself knowing you’re five foot, you’re five foot four. Yes. I can’t believe that , I really expected you to be a lot taller. I’m only five for eight, but, you know, There you go. I recently got the upgrade. They now give me what’s called economy plus, which is where I get the automatic upgrade to the four inches of leg room, which I don’t need, which means I have to take off my seatbelt to reach my computer bag.
It’s really annoying, but I’ll take it. . So, so I get, I think what you are asking me is when I train people to be a fact practitioner, how do I get it so they’re comfortable to be there? Is that what it’s Yes. Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Right within it, it’s, it’s fact is bitty elastic. So, so what I mean by that is that there is a set structure and there are, dare I say it, I’ll be told off of this scripts.
Mm-hmm. . Cause there’s all this debate, Burn your scripts and whatever. And I get that However, the scripts can be, are tailored to the client, individual client. So there are scripts, there are motivational, um, tools, interventions that we can do with clients as well. And again, they’re tailored and uh, and then there’s the 80 20 meal planning, routine and creative portion control techniques.
So you’ve got all of those. Now when it comes to the personality side, you don’t have to be like me. Right? So what? But, but the philosophy is that the, the principles are that we do say to a client, if you don’t lose weight every week, we take you off the program and you get a program to refund. That’s to illustrate it.
Straightness. And also the, um, we use the word fat. So I always say to hipp therapists, if you are comfortable using the word fat, don’t bother coming on the fat notice program. And we let clients know if they are making excuses, we tell them mm-hmm. and we then encourage them to give us a solution. And we text our clients as well so we can text them and sos them.
So, so I guess what I’m saying is you’ve got all of these processes, tools, and strategies, and you’ve got a surrounding that, a number of. Philosophies, if that’s the right word. Yeah. And therefore you can use your own personality. So for example, if, if I take Stevie Chan for example, in Northern Ireland, he’s the fact, those practitioner there very different to me, but his results are incredible.
The same with Karen Brindle in leads, you know, very different to me. Um, she’s brilliant and it’s because they use all of that, that process and tools and strategies. But they’ve, they do stick to the philosophy of no excuses. You lose weight already off the program. Duh, duh. Nice, nice. Tell me a little bit more about the, it sounds like there’s a little we can kind of brand as conscious programming or just simply giving strategies.
You mentioned like an 80, 20 something in there. Yeah, the 80 with, with the food element of posis, we keep it really simple. So we say 80% of the time to eat. Pretty well healthily and 20% of the time to have a bit of what you’re fancy. Mm-hmm. . So let, I’ll tell you something I did last night, cuz uh, a lot of nos won’t know I do this, but with my online people, clients, I, um, we had a dinner party and I do this sometimes.
So, so what I did was we all got our two course meal and I said make it 80 20 so I can kind of, we all get ideas from each other come at seven o’clock. Uh, I’ll do it via life feed. You can be posting your pictures, we can have a chat and I will deliver some kind of techniques, things you can be doing as you’re eating your meal.
So, so we do things like, you know, let’s make it last and le so if you, if I’ve got a binger for example, you know, they are following. Lead. Mm. Yeah. And then, uh, and we have a bit of laugh as well. I mean, I drink g tonic while I’m doing it, do you know what I mean? And, um, and it, and it works really well. So, so, um, I dunno, I’ve got onto that, but you must have asked me something to do with it.
No, what’s great about that is, I mean, I can think of someone who I just wrapped up a while ago that she, she was successful working with me. Yet the challenge that kind of motivated it was this was the type of person who every single week was flopping over to a different program. Mm-hmm. , you know that No, no, no, I have to do this thing now.
No, no, no. It’s gotta be that strategy now. And, uh, I love the 80 20 principal. There’s, um, person in the fitness world by the name of Jordan Sciat. Uh, which for those that track, uh, Gary Faar, Chuck Jordan’s his trainer. That’s his sort of interesting, Yeah. Which, um, in an interview with him, he quoted the great statement that he goes, If you’re perfect every single day, you’re gonna hit your goal in 12 weeks if you’re pretty good most of the time.
14. Yeah, exactly. Relax. I like that. Yeah. I had eye one time. And that’s what, and it keeps, it, it, it keeps it real. And, and I mean, the other thing that I do is, um, occasionally I’ll throw like a little garden party for the clients that have lost weight. And, and you know, when I started doing it, people say, Oh, what about ethics and what about boundaries?
And I sort of give it, you know, that Miller, look, , I, they all frigging know that other clients will be coming. They’re human beings with a personality. Do you know? I mean, and um, I do that sort of thing. I sometimes will help them if they wanna shop. You know, you get some women that have never been in a, what they call the normal shop for years.
And sometimes I’ll meet them in town and say, Right, come on off, we go there. Mm-hmm. . I like to see my work with the clients as well as like, it’s a community, you know, it’s a community. So I do do things like, uh, like the, the extras that maybe aren’t formal hypnosis. Well, it’s again, where you’re kind of modeling the results of what people have noticed so far, and then using that as the catalyst to then bridge to the next step where I’m sure this is something that’s continuing to develop.
The more you do it, that it’s not just stuck in one specific model. Yeah, and the other thing to remember, of course, and you will know this as a business guy as well, is they’re my sales people. Mm-hmm. . They’re my sales people. I don’t have, I’m not desperate for clients like Mo Most people in the uk I’m telling you now, no matter what crap they tell you, they struggle to get clients.
A lot of them really struggle. Blessed. Well, that tends to be a standard, I think, everywhere. I mean, I, I basically got a call that, you know, with a number of other, the book that just came out, a number of their projects in the works. You know, I, I shortened my office hours down to only see a maximum of 10 people a week rather than the 15 as I was seeing before.
And the immediate feedback was, you’re only seeing 10. I can barely get four or five. That, again, to look at this abrupt nature and apply this even to how we even talk to ourselves about our business to be okay with the statement of going, as you said earlier, I’m really good at this, and that’s my ethical responsibility to share this with people and motivate them to take action and share this outstanding service with people.
Yeah. Yeah. Too many people are apologizing at that offer at that moment of making the sales offer. Yeah. I dunno what it is with hypnos, with their business, but I, they, they seem to, if they say to me, you know, what is it to get clients? I was, I always tell them about this. So it’s common sense, social proof.
I mean, it just is, but you still get people saying, What about the ethics of that? And clients wouldn’t wanna sell the world that they’re anxious. Bullshit. Absolute bullshit. Because I can point the good ones out. In the uk they’re loaded with social proof, obviously with the express permission of their client.
Yeah. But there’s a lack of conviction here. There is a big, big lack of conviction of people being able to put themselves out there and inspire the public to understand that actually the, the, the, the, uh, the tool we have, the craft we have, uh, can help them achieve things in their life. We do not, we don’t seem to have the conviction.
To put that message out there. And I say it all the time cuz my, my actual, um, client attraction program is called hyp now, called hypnotic Client attraction. Because actually your hy you hypnotize your clients, you hypnotize your prospects. That’s what you do to bring them in. That’s why, you know, I can get, if I wanted 30 clients a week, I could have them because you use hypnotic principles, phenomena, whatever to get, get your audience to feel the emotion of motivation to want you mm-hmm.
And when you can do that, when you’ve got that, whether it’s written, communication, uh, uh, a picture or whatever, or a, a video or live feed, once you’ve nailed that, you’re in business forever. . So, not that this would be the intention, but perhaps by way of metaphor, there’s a style of comedian that oftentimes looks to alienate their audience to see if they can win them back over.
And it’s a smaller category of people. This would not be like your Ray Romano going on TV and doing something fun and light or, um, you know, what Ellen DeGeneres does over here in our talk show. But of, of people like, uh, Doug Stan Hope, which are the folks who, like, he did the second version of The Man Show Comedian Bill Burr.
What, what I’m getting at here, and I’ll tell a quick story to illustrate it. Here’s a moment where a client came in and, you know, the whole thing was that the first concern was. , everything here is private. Right? Because if my family found out I was doing this, they would think I was crazy. Yeah. And I then use the word back in such a way to highlight that, you know, as, as long as that word is there, um, you know, why don’t we look at it instead?
That the fact that you’re here means something different, that you’re doing something about it. The chances, oh, there’s family member of yours who are stuck inside of the problem. And if we really want to use that C word, uh, the craziness would be sort of dwelling inside of the problem and not doing anything about it.
And it’s as if I just lit a firecracker and, Oh no, you use that word. I just, we have to cleanse the space of that word, um, that can’t be here. And just this torrent of thing that responded. And I just kind of put my hands up in that timeout gesture and asking the question, How quickly can you resolve anything if just the use of one single word.
Can set this reaction. What happens when you reclaim this situation as yourself? So the, the question I ask you, is there a moment that stands out where you mentioned yes a few times, a handful of times it didn’t get the desired result, it was off to a reaction or even tears. But what I’m looking for is perhaps is there a story of a time that it did get that reaction and yet you were able to, let’s say it this way, recover it to now turn it into a win for both you and of course the client.
Yes. Do you know what? And I don’t think, I think there’ll be people that say, Oh, come on. I don’t think I’ve ever offended a client in, at the beginning of my consulting onur it. I tell you what, um, I have had actually, and this, this, this is absolutely true. Where, where clients have said, I need you to be a little bit more direct, Steve.
I need you to Now that has happened. Um, and I’ve had to up the ante and it’s something I have to watch because, you know, in my own style, they, these guys are paying for a, a direct authoritarian, motivational, um, weight loss, uh, journey using hypnosis and other tools. And if I dilute it, which sometimes I can do without knowing it, they kind of, there is a disappointment.
So there’s that. Um, I’ve had also, I’ve had, uh, and rescuing that I just have to changes, change my style, uh, which I do. And then I’ve also had a one or two clients that have said, um, You’re not believing me, Steve. I don’t think you’re believing me. Hmm. So, um, not believing. Not believing that, you know? So they may say, Oh, I’ve only lost like half a pound, and they’re like 20, 22 stone.
And they’re saying, But I’ve done everything and I don’t feel you’re believing me. Now, what do you think? I say to a client that says that I would bet that you’re not believing them. I tell them the truth. I tell them the truth. So I can look, I will look at ’em. I’ll say, Do you know what? I don’t believe you.
You’re right. And if they say, Are you calling me a liar? Which is rare, I’ll say, Yes. I don’t believe you. Now, I’ve never had anyone walk. Never. Right? This was the first time, but there never had anyone walk. And again, I guess that is a bit of a shock pattern. Interrupt to put it technically. Mm-hmm. and they kind.
And this is true. I can tell you a story. I had one client, she came to see me. It was session two, and she, uh, I didn’t done very well and, you know, lost me away. And, and she gave me all this crap. And then I said, and she, I said, she said to me that you don’t relieve me. I said, No, don’t. I said, No one’s fat in the famine.
You don’t get fat on fresh air. Right. And you could see the twinkle in her eye as well. On the way home, in her car, she broke down on the motorway. This is true. And she texted me and said, I’ve broken down on the motorway. It serves me right, because I fibbed. Then we made up, and then we moved on. So I believe, I guess what I’m saying is one of the strategies to rescue it back and build back what you’ve got is to challenge and stand your ground as a hip therapist, not to be this submissive person.
You know, who’s the leader in all of this? Me, you are a hypno. If you are a hypnotherapist and you are seeing clients, you are the leader. That’s what they’re paying you for. And if you are not the leader and you are not demonstrating what I said, that conviction, that confidence within that leadership, you’re screwed.
Well, you mentioned 80 20 earlier, and tell me if this is a fair statement, that you’re probably getting 80% of those results from that conversation, from that interaction before the formal hypnotic process. And that 20% of the hypnosis at the end of it is helping to perhaps ratify what you’ve already said in motion.
Two things to say to that. Number one, I think you’re absolutely correct, but, but, but my view on what hypnosis is, is not about just the eyes closing. Yes. I believe that it is. As, as you and I communicate now, we are obviously sending suggestions to each other, and I think that is what we have to recognize, you know, um, well, the entire process Yes.
Is hypnotic yet, let’s call it a formal, you know Yeah. The formalities. Yes. Oh, you’re right. I mean, the, for, you know, in a OSIS program there, there is five outta the six weeks, there’s, there’s five sessions of what we’d call formal hypnosis. But I say to the guys, the practitioners, Look, if you feel it’s not relevant, don’t do it.
Because actually sometimes, and this happened to me recently, I said to the client, So should we do some hypnosis? And she said, No, I don’t want to. And she said, Because I get out of my sessions, you. Being well present and having the conversation to inspire her to understand how to change her life moving forward.
And sometimes you don’t need to do it. Or again, the environment is what creates. I wanna go back to that moment of, you know, and I’d say this again from the characteristic of someone who used to carry around the extra weight, that unfortunately that is a process that sometimes How much did you carry? I was nowadays around one 30.
Uh, if you play the game on YouTube, you can play the incredible shrinking hypnotist . Like in high school, I got up to like a 210 or so. Um, that’s not, I’m trying to work that in stones. Oh, don’t make me do math. How many, you know, how many pounds is you were, Sorry. Go on man. Do you know how many pounds is a stone?
14. 14. So 14 divide, uh, what’s the math? Two 10. I’m doing math here. Live on the air. Yeah. Uh, that was 15 stone. 50. Listen, you were five, five foot four maximum. Yeah. And you were really fat. Oh yeah. And which, the easy way to get that off is to get mono and pneumonia at the same time for like nine months that, uh, that took off most of the weight.
So doing the math now down around about nine and a third stone, uh, if that’s a calculation, you tiny little thing, aren’t you? I know, right? Yeah. I could put you in my pocket and carry you around with me. Not at five eight. So No, but I mean, it’s where we, What I’m getting at though is we play the game of.
I’m doing everything right. You know, I run into this with people in business that, oh, I was working all day today and yet they’re refreshing their outlook a thousand times. They’re on social media, reposting the same crap over and over, an awards, no result. And no, I’m eating healthy. I say as I was going through the drive through, cuz I convinced myself that I was too busy.
And uh, yes the egg McMuffin is more reasonable on that menu, but two of them is a bit excessive and oh, it comes with hash browns. I’d be losing money cuz that just comes with it anyway. So just kind of calling it out in such a way that sometimes there is that moment of yes, recognizing that we can help them to call out their own story that’s not quite working for them as it as it was before.
Actually. Linked to that yes is, and this is a message for all of you, lovely H therapists out there, is stop labeling the client as an emotional eater for God’s sake. Did you hear that? Yeah. , they do it all the time. It’s like no one can just be, I’ve been working with fat people for 20 years nearly right?
And I can tell you now one of the worst bloody strap lines to have come along that keeps people fat, is that one called emotional eating. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know an experience has taught me there are people that do have emotional issues that lead to the food for comfort, but 80% of them, do you know why?
The fact, Well, they fall into bad habits and they’ve become lazy and they suffer. And I say this to a client you’re suffering with can’t be bothered. I, And that isn’t just about going a walk. It’s about can’t be bothered. I it’s actually about not thinking before you put it in your, in your mouth and.
They agree. So actually emotion, what we’ve got to be careful of as a hypnotherapist is telling people before they’ve arrived that they’ve got emotional eating or that it’s mental health related. You know, it’s just ridiculous. So you, you have someone arriving who’s already know, thinks they’re an emotional leader or they’ve told you they are and you’ve told them they are as well.
So all great, we are in this partnership emotionally team, you know, think before you deliver a conclusion on a client’s condition, it’s very important. Well, as soon as we’ve said it, because that’s another suggestion. I mean, here’s a guy who came into the office one time that because I’ve got this, uh, you know, mental challenge at times.
That’s why I. Yet. Meanwhile, he could have that issue as much as he’s had it and be a nonsmoker at the same time too. That one does not directly have to correlate to the other. You know, I, I’ve been one to expand that at times to go, Well, boredom is an emotion. Uh, not paying attention is some form of an emotion.
Everything’s an emotion. So it’s not specific to the, the characteristic as we’d see in the movie of crying with the sleeve of Oreos. That No, that’s a very good point. That’s a very good point actually. And, and the message to the hy no hypnotherapist is yes, emotionally eating, let’s, let’s say, does exist and we all have it.
Let’s, let’s imagine that for a minute, but what a hypnotherapist. Too often is focus on those negative emotions rather than actually the reason you fat is cuz actually you’ve got a really good life and you drink too much wine and you eat too much of that. You, you are eating and celebrating cuz life’s really great.
So, you know, we, the message is stop telling clients that they’ve got emotional eating. They’re eating because they’re depressed. Trust me, in my consulting room, there’s another suggestion. . I hear it Jason, I hear it all the time from clients that come and see me and you know, you gotta watch clients cause they do moan about other hip therapists.
I know that. So I’m, I’m not daft, but a lot will say to me, you know, oh they told me, you know, it might be emotionally eating or it’s cause I’m depressed or my childhood, or I’ve got mental health issues. And I think, do you know. No you’re not. You’re fat because you’ve gone into these habits because you’ve become lazy.
And what I’m gonna do is I am going to using, using the power of hypnosis and motivational coaching, I am going to give you the biggest large helping of self-esteem, confidence, control that you will never want to be fat again. And I’ll tell you something else and you, I can’t remember the guy’s name.
What we have to realize to motivate someone is that we’ve got to get them to have a real disgust as well as desire. Mm-hmm. . And there is a guy, I wish I could remember his name. He’s a New York Times bestseller, he’s a doctor, I can’t remember the guy’s name. And he endorses massively discussed as a massive motivator.
So, And what that is really is the push and pull style of motivation. Well, how do you motivate a change? There’s always a stick involved. You’re poking with a stick and you’re dangling a carrot at the end of the stick. Yeah. So last night for example, on the dinner party, there was, uh, some of the ladies they would have on their iPhone, they would have a photo, their fat photo that they, they’re absolutely not going back to.
And they say to me, I’m disgusted with that. Good. I’m glad you are. But then at the same time, cuz you’ve gotta meet both is they look up at the outfit they’re gonna be in. Mm-hmm. . Next time and we rejoice and also we affirm, you know, power suggestion mentally how great it is to be in control and how great it is to be slimer, all that sort of thing.
You’ve gotta have both emotion, both styles. You’ve gotta have the disgusted, you’ve got to have the desire in isolation. I don’t believe it works well. I’d say this too, from someone who’s known of your work in some respect for the last couple of years, and of course seeing some of the criticisms as well.
This is highlighting that again, that heart that’s behind it, that I’m using this and you know, this is what it is and here’s what we’re gonna do to smash it. Um, there’s that old image, but. Look at how wonderful you’re gonna feel when you’re in that result. Uh, for folks who want to learn more about what you do and how to get in contact with you, where’s the best place for them to go?
Well, I think because it’s H therapists, I think, Come on, there’s a, there’s two Facebook groups. Okay. The first one is called Introduction to Hypno, Antidepressant and Fat, because I’ve just launched h No Antidepressant. So Intro to Hypno, Antidepressant and Fat. And then the other group is called Hypnotic Client Attraction.
That’s, that’s the best way to get me. Excellent. And your weight, uh, website is, uh, your weight loss master.co.uk, correct? That’s correct. And it’ll gonna be fat.com, but who cares? There you go. We’ll link everything in the show notes as well. Any, any final thoughts before we wrap it up? I just love talking to you, Mr.
In it I have, cuz your face kind of gets everywhere. Um, but I just can’t believe you’re five foot full . And what I would away say to all, what I would say to all the audience is, listen, remember three Cs, confidence, credibility, conviction. Continually assess yourself, how well your displaying that. And continually, like I do work on it as well.
And if anyone tells you you’ve got ego. Thank them.
Jason Lynette here once again, and as always, thank you so much for sharing your feedback, whether it’s by email or Facebook Messenger or hey, leaving your reviews online. Those reviews keep pouring in as well. And once again, head over to hypnotic business systems.com. That’s where you can check out the all access pass to my Hypnosis business training library.
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