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I’d get them to save their money to one side to see how fast they actually make up the, the cost of what it cost me to, to do the therapy with them. And considering someone saved 132 pound in, in two weeks, it wasn’t very long until she was starting to save up her money to to pay herself back for the sessions that she’d had with me, which is quite amazing.
And also quite saddening to think of how much she spent on KFCs and whatnot in the mean. Graham Weber on hypnotic service. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette. I am truly excited for you to hear this conversation with Graham Weber.
I’ve interacted with Graham a number of times over the years, whether it’s various trips that I’ve done over to the UK or interacting in different communities online. And what’s always interesting is to hear that journey from some other profession, from some other career path and that spark of curiosity that then brings people into hypnosis, which Graham is coming into this with more than 18 years experience serving in the British Army.
And I have to say this, that you know, through the tours of service that he did, whether it was Iraq or Northern Ireland or even Afghanistan, which is definitely in the news these days. I could imagine that brings an entirely different perspective to what people unfortunately sometimes have to go through, and more importantly, how we help them to begin.
Then get on the other side of it. So this fascination around hypnosis, which has gone on for more than a decade now. Really helps to inform the work that he does, and you’re going to hear that passion and this conversation as well as, I would say, this incredibly noble gift that he has given back to the profession in terms of how he’s responded business wise to the pandemic.
I’ll just let that kind of sit for now. You’re gonna hear this beautiful insight from him inside of this conversation, which extends to the fact that as we talk about community, Graham is now running a phenomenal community online, which will put the links to that in the show notes [email protected], and you’ll hear all the details inside of this conversation and personally.
I’m looking forward to presenting to that community coming up rather soon. As we’re talking about community. This is what we do with Work Smart Hypnosis live and online. This is our fully professional training and certification course. You see, the interesting thing is that there’s so many people that come into hypnosis and perhaps they get a little bit of, let’s say, sporadic training over time, and perhaps they do know some great skills and technique.
But the challenge then becomes, okay, there’s now a client in front of you. How do you actually now put it all together? And that was the biggest conflict that I had when I got all into all this about, you know, 15, 16 years ago or so, and really creating a course that satisfies that. How is it that we can hit the ground running?
How is it that we can ask the right questions at the right time so that even though our client may not realize that they’re speaking in. And they’re telling us exactly what techniques to use, when, where, and why, and what modifications to then make use as a part of it. This is why when we do work smart hypnosis live and online, we get a bit of a mixed audience.
Half of the people are brand new, and this is the first official training they’re doing. Meanwhile, the other half are seasoned professionals, or perhaps let’s say book smart, uh, with their learning. And now they’re looking to get those further refinements from people who are actually doing the professional work of hypnosis and are happy to share with you what’s working right now.
You can find all the details of the next event at work Smart hypnosis live.com. Be sure to watch the entire video at the top of that page. It’ll give you a full tour and an exact feel for the training. Even before you sign up, check that out at work smart hypnosis live.com. And with that, let’s jump directly into this phenomenal conversation.
Here we go. Session number 341 Graham Weber on hypnotic service. My very first introduction comes from the back end of magic. I started learning magic when I was saving, saving to get married at the age of 21. And um, all of a sudden online, uh, via magic companies, there was something called Zap. Which was actually released first.
It was an induction during a shock induction. Oh, I remember. Zap, yes. Um, now from what I know, it was very dangerous. But, um, at the time I was looking at thinking, How’d you put this together? And it just couldn’t happen. And it kind of started my peak of interest into hypnosis. Uh, I then come across, uh, Anthony, Jack and the head hackers, Chubby Connection and Mancho approach, Jonathan Chase and many other people who I just started reading and reading and looking at different things.
But if I was to really go back into my very first look, it was from reading the book Trick The Mind by Darren Brown. Yeah. Um, when he had a very basic script, and I remember just talking my nan through it and she was like, I was like, Did you feel it? Did you notice anything? And obviously she, she had some sort of reaction, but whether I knew if or not, it was hypnosis at that time, it’s simply a guess to.
We just peaked at a lot of curiosity and not to spend too much time on this, but I’ll just give the quick overview. I forget his, the man’s name who did it, but Zap was this sort of instant induction program where, um, tell me if I’m using the fair words and it’s not my place to speak negatively of it cuz they’re not here, but you are like yanking the person to the ground and launching them a good five or six feet away.
To his credit, he did say just tell them to fall safely and that works. Yeah, his, it was in, in a moment, I’m gonna pull on your arm. I wanna do, You’re gonna fall like a sack of potatoes. That was his, that was his classic opening talk, his pre-talk as such. Yeah. And also his son was with him as well because his son was classed as the youngest hypnotist as he used to declare.
So then from, again, just the curiosity from Magic to then here’s the videos, then here’s the world of the Jack Wins and Jonathan Chase. Uh, what was the sort of other journey at the same time? Cause you’re, were you in military at that time too? Yeah. Yeah. So I, I’ve been serving, uh, since the 10th of June, 2002.
I still serve now. I’m a sergeant and a Royal Electrical Mechanical Engineers, uh, as a vehicle mechanic. And I still use that time mostly to build myself up. I’ve got, I’ve got four years left. Look my career to when I get a full pension. There’s not very many people who get a full pension from the day you leave somewhere for the rest of your life.
Yes. And obviously pride as well. You know, I was, I had Army cadets when I was younger. Uh, I always had a vision of what I wanted to do, although I only joined the Army for four years initially. Good times have carried me through more, and obviously now towards the end as well. It’s, it’s family based, making sure I’ve got that security and as much as I know for the career that I can make with hypnosis, And everything in the pathway.
It’s also just knowing that you’re gonna get to that, the end of that color service and get the big pat on the buck, so to say. Yeah, I love that, and definitely respect that. There’s people I’ve worked with over here in the States that kind of fell into a similar category as to. This many years left and then here comes the pension this many years.
And then, you know, these, we have different countries of course, but the fact of the health insurance is now covered by doing this out. But even from that perspective of, you know, this is service, this is something that I’m a part of. And, uh, part part of the reason I wanted to have you on here is, one, respecting the work that you do, but also two, that balance and this beautiful place coming down the road.
As to, as this story ends, it’s not the, what am I gonna now do, it’s that it’s already built. Right. No, absolutely. As as I was saying before, I was, um, I was at the Army versus Navy rugby match where I was playing with my band. I was entertaining, uh, the Remi tent, so my cut buds tent. Uh, when I bumped into an old boss, he was a senior soldier, what’s known as an an ASM and Arsis Sergeant major.
I checked in with him to see how he was getting on, and he turned just to say he went for officer commissioning and he wasn’t selected. He was turned down. And until that point, he’d literally set his life on going commission that he hadn’t looked at any other avenue as to what he may do for when he gets out.
And it was like, you know, he’s literally about to go from being a senior soldier to a civilian in weeks. He hadn’t planned it and he didn’t know where he was going. Now, with the qualification of things for his role, I’m sure he found, um, a good enough, a good enough job to be able to, to carry him. But obviously that self pride and everything at that moment was complet.
Took from under his feet as such because then he never had it. And I always vowed to myself from that point that I was gonna find something and start planning from that day. And it pretty much was from then that I started to plan everything, look, looking even more into my hypnosis. But that, that kind of never stopped.
But then I started, started to find a pathway into, into the therapy side of life. Cause obviously at first I started it for entertainment to compliment. Um, Yeah, that’s what I was about to ask, that the original sort of curiosity was that here’s something else I can present. What was part of that transition then in terms of now using it to help people?
Well, the interesting thing, Jason, is when I very first started hypnosis, even though I was reading everything, even though I was watching through and I said, like I said, I read that script to my Anne, it actually took me four years to very first hypnotize someone. Mm-hmm. , I could do magic until the horses came home and, and, and while people.
But I could never, Cause I never had a coach, I think, I think that’s a big thing. I never actually ever had a coach in the hypnosis side of it. And I didn’t know what it was that I was doing wrong, which couldn’t achieve an arm lock or, or anything else. Um, until one day I was watching a Penguin Magic lecture by a guy called Jay Noble.
So he was a magician first and then the hypnotist as well. And he simply stated that whenever he introduced himself, he introduced himself as a hypnotist. Who does magic, because regardless of the magic that he did, the suggestion of that he was a hypnotist would get the people who wanted to be hypnotized already thinking about hypnosis.
And therefore, obviously the journey would create him to be able to, um, put them into hypnosis. A hell of a lot easier. And that stuck with me to one day I was showing someone magic and, and they just said, Oh, what else you do? And I, I literally just off the riff, my tongue, I’m a hypnotist. Oh, do you? And he’s like, Can you hypnotize me?
Of course I can. And it was just that confidence and that belief that day that, um, I went into using the Seesaw induction by Robert Temple and other things that I’d, I’d learned with a phenomena follow. Anthony where, um, I changed, oh, I can’t remember the name now. It’s Jenny Hum, Camel Humper is it that he uses on the, on the, on the trail.
But I, I just remembered the whole phenomena and he could, he couldn’t count and everything and um, obviously safely removed all the suggestions and brought him back out. And obviously all of a sudden everyone around me, all being squad, he was like, Yes, that’s amazing. How have you done that? And then someone else goes to me, Can you hypnotize.
I went straight over to him, started to hypnotize him and it never worked. I was like, Oh my God, what’s happened? And it wasn’t until afterwards I realized that in the middle of hypnotizing, that first person and the second person, I’d completely admitted that he was actually my first ever client subject, whichever terminology you’d like to use.
Oh, yeah. And that’s why I like to use now with any people, like whoever I teach that. Would you ever allow a trainee cutthroat, razor shaver, Barbara go on you for the first time? Because as far as layman’s concerned, that’s near on the same thing as your, you are playing with someone’s mind. You know, I know as experienced hypnotist know, it’s not necessarily the same, you know, the same thing of playing with minds, but.
To the layman, they believe you are completely changing their whole world, which is great, but providing they don’t think that you are that cutthroat barber that’s gonna, uh, potentially slice something in the wrong direction. You’re, you’re making me think of. In exchange with my kids the other day, which, um, they were trying to tease me as a birthday is coming up and then the year after I’ll turn 40.
Like, Oh, you’re getting old. I’m like, No, everything I do is getting so much easier. , Um, that of that expectation and just the knowledge that this is the person who’s been doing it for this long. Yeah, there’s something that just doesn’t convey well with the language of, let me just practice with you, which we can use that with each other in the early days is in the early days of getting up and running, but there’s something to be said about the confidence that we exude or just the statement of, I’m a heist.
Would you like to work with that? Yeah, absolutely. That, and that’s a, that’s a great deal of sentence to use, isn’t it? Can, would you like to work with that? I, I like that. Yeah. So then at what point, let’s say, did it move from hobby to now starting to actually offer it out as a service? Yeah, so I, I, you know, I was regularly doing magic shows.
Well, I always had a deck of cards on me and yeah, I was just doing individual or group hypnosis at this point. And then I had a sergeant who are wet alongside who, uh, regardless of how I worked with him, is by far one of the best execution of work that that’ll work within the. That all of a sudden he started showing signs of, of other, um, behaviors and then we found out he was actually going on to medication because he had chronic PTSD from, from his times as a sniper on tour and, and, and other things as well.
And it always just questioned me cuz whenever, you know, I wasn’t trained hypnotherapist, but what, if ever I was using hypnosis. I remember that Jonathan Chase. DVD where he taught symbolism and stuff. So I’d always assist people with spider phobias or, or just confidence in whichever way. And I was just looking at thinking so.
Surely the, there’s gotta be easy enough ways of utilizing suggestion and behaviors in order to, um, to assist my friend, which then got me looking at different courses. Um, I did, I did some courses online where I paid 15 pound through wh uh, to all my sins. I never completed it. I never wanted to, I didn’t like it.
I looked up at some other courses and then I, I came across Carl Smith in the UK h News Academy, which for me, um, Assisted me a lot because we talked the same language. You know, we, we, the rapport was instantly there. As everyone knows, Carl’s got a foul mouth, which works for me, really, , and the, the passage of information, the fun, keeping the fun there, I was able to utilize what I already knew and add to it quite quickly or very quickly, in fact, to the, uh, to the point.
In the time of me coming away from the UK News Academy, I like, within three months I had a full part-time business up and running to the Point car wanted me to come back to teach kinetic shift cuz he also knew I had a level four instructor in the UK as well. So that that allowed me to share my knowledge of everything else that I.
I wanna go back to something you just said because there’s something big inside of the way. You phrase something that, correct me if I have the sequence here that you saw a style of doing it that fit within your own personality. But the key phrase was then it took everything I already knew and made it better.
Yeah, because, so obviously I, I already knew how to hypnotize people. I already knew many different induction types. At this point then I’d probably been doing hypnosis for about two or three years. So I already had the knowledge of how to hypnotize someone. So, but I never knew how to take it further in the therapy sense.
So at that point I was really able to, well, while some people in the course were concentrating on how to do the hypnosis, As Carl would’ve seen me, I would, I was already coaching people how to, um, how to do things. Magnetic fingers, for example, for a simple induction. Mm-hmm. , I don’t agree that many people hold the fingers open before someone tries to click their fingers.
Cause what? For me? What, what looks unnatural? There is. Why is that person holding the fingers open? Letting go Last second. Just before. They click their fingers. It’s not, it’s not a logical principle. The logical principle is someone’s already holding their own fingers open. Then when I click my fingers, they come together.
So therefore I change it. I change it to the fact of as they’re holding their hands, natural cata is happening. As I’m explaining to them that in a minute I’m gonna hold my first two fingers up, you’re gonna stare at the tip of. Tell you what, Rewind, rewind back. And even though this is just audio here, talk, talk us through that because I can, dude, I can do 30 minutes on finger magnets theory here.
No, no, absolutely. But I, no, I love the specificity. Let, let’s rewind back and, and walk us through this. Yeah. So when someone’s going into magnetic fingers, the natural thing, hold your hands out, classmen together. Do not bringing up like you’re doing in prayer. When it gets to that point, I believe then it’s your moment to actually coach the person as to what’s gonna happen.
Because if you’re coaching ’em, your phone is suggestion in place that they’re gonna understand. Now normally a lot of people like to hold their fingers up and they hold their F finger and thumb between it to hold them open and say, You’re gonna look here and they’re gonna come together. And I, like I said, I think that’s unnatural.
So I get the person to sit there with a hands cla. As they’re clasping them, I’ll talk to them and show them on my hands what’s going to happen. Yeah. So one of two, one or two things happening, they’re naturally causing catay in their hands cause they’re squeezing already without even realizing. So they’re going white knuckled.
I’m showing them that I, uh, to raise their fingers up. When I click my fingers and I do the audio audible click, their fingers will slowly come together and show ’em how it’s gonna lock. Explaining that when they come together, they’ll clo, you know, they’ll take a deep breath, close their eyes, whatever the suggestion may.
And then obviously once they’ve got it and they’ve followed it, then, then we go through it. That’s it. Simply squeeze your hands, nice and tight. Bring your fingers up. They’ve now brought their fingers and made ’em an inch apart. I’m not holding anything. I’m not involved in that. Yeah. So therefore, when I click my fingers, at that point, the, the, the then stopped thinking about the fingers.
They’ll naturally come together. The suggestions go in and it’s, I think for me it works because of my magic exposure. It’s the same as mentalism as such. The dirty work’s already done without anyone knowing that I’ve already done the dirty work. Mm-hmm. , Does that make sense? I, I share, and this is just, you know, just to highlight a few elements inside of that, that, uh, coming from a former ma magic background too, the way that I first learned that was you’d get everybody in position with the finger spread apart and then he’d start talking about it.
And by that point, everyone’s fingers had already touch. Yeah, absolutely. Uh, so, whoops, . So I’ve always done the same thing with putting the tension at the can of three. You’re going to expand them and look at the space between, I leave mine vague just to say, watch what happens. Because with all that tension in the hands, the moment they separate, they’re gonna come back together anyway.
But the key thing is this way for a group, we can direct the magic moment at the same time for everybody. Uh, because for the reference like a now drop that you and three others will. The words of David Roth. When something moves on its own, it’s always magic. Absolutely. Just us . And I also believe as well, you’ve got a very strong statement afterwards to be able to capture.
Sure. Someone said, Oh, it just happens naturally. I can simply say, So why was it your fingers were stood up when you first held them there, but they didn’t move until I started clicking. Yeah. And then they’ve got, they’ve got a really, you know, from the famous words of Mike Man, They’ve then gotta start looking inside themselves to then think about what happened.
As soon as he start to think inside themselves, they’re already going into trance because they’re, they’re thinking about the, the, the, the internal process, which means then anything else that you then go onto, you’re already winning. I just wanna highlight for everyone, this is one of my favorite conversations around this, where, uh, I was at the Im DHA conference, which was in Florida.
It’s been online the last couple of years. Pandemic. Uh, but there was a moment, one of the last times I was there in person, and it’s just to drop the names in the story. It’s Sean, it’s Scott Sandlin walking over, and his line was, I just watched Sean, Michael Andrews talk about finger magnets for 25 minutes and it’s like the best thing I’ve seen in years.
So, and it’s not for the technique, it’s for the specificity like you’re getting into. Thank you for sharing that. Uh, so would you say, and especially looking at here’s a kinesthetic way to begin the process, that now becomes your induction often right. Absolutely. Well, so when I first started and on the diploma with Carl, I, so what I always used to do is I used to use, uh, the magnetic thing very much like a suggestibility test, but because I used to do like the stage sort of hypnosis and street hypnosis, the way I used to utilize it first was at start with saying, It’s gonna be a suggestibility test.
Or basically, I’m gonna look at you now I’m gonna see how good you are for hypnosis. I want to follow along with this. Do the magnetic fingers, they’d go into hypnosis. Without them knowing that they’re gonna go into hypnosis, I’d get ’em to close their eyes. Simply say, in a moment, you’re gonna wake up, you know you’re gonna be ready to go into hypnosis.
Gimme a nod when you’re ready, one, two wide awake. And then I’d go straight into some sort. Well, actually I used to use, uh, John Carbon’s butterfly induction, a similar confusion induction. And just from that it was. It was obviously taking him even deeper, but then as Carl once said, he is like, If you’ve already got a hypnosis, what’s the point?
I’m stopping. And then obviously that’s where for me, for therapy side of life, it. It was already simple enough for street and stage. I always still like to use that, that model because one, you, you’re already get in fractionation, uh, people already get the exposure of going in into hypnosis multiple times.
They’re becoming more suggestible and you’ve thrown a lot more, more suggestions in there as well, and they’re getting more used to you as a person. Tell me if this description kind of fits that, that often, rather than doing one longer session, you’re actually doing a couple of smaller sessions, but in one.
Oh, absolutely. Of course you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that’s something that I hit on a while ago too, that especially even, even for online sessions. Of just the application as to we’ve got that fractionation, uh, we’ve got all those, let’s go nerdy with the references here at the bernheim visits. And we’ve got that ability that we’re working with deeper responsibility, uh, responsiveness and the process.
And I started seeing a faster, more consistent result and I could get more work done that way. So then absolutely. In terms of your clients these days, like what specific issues do you find yourself working with the. Weight loss still comes around a lot. Yeah. I like to work with anxieties as well. Cause that anxiety, let’s face it, an anxiety is one of the biggest things around at the moment.
I believe it’s due to social media and obviously social, bigger social circles and things. So a lot of, a lot of anxiety work, uh, but also weight loss as well. Cause back to when I was on my diploma, I lost three stone following that. And, and I think I have a big, I have a big relation to it and it’s all thanks to Bev Gik, um, who’s, yeah, who I do, I do a lot of training with.
It’s a lot of rewarding work, isn’t it? It’s, you know, it works there, so it, whether it’s anxiety or, or weight loss, I, I tend to work more towards them areas. But with the military background as well, it’s, it’s one of them that, to advertise with it, it’s very difficult because all I can ever do is look for word of mouth work.
And word of mouth work can fall into many different categories. Um, I don’t need to do therapy. I’m very fortunate to have a well paid job at the same time. Uh, for me at the moment, it’s all about just a name, a presence, and the reviews. Let’s face it, we all need the reviews to build our business. So then aside from like the word of mouth, how is it that people are finding.
So I’ve, I’ve also got, um, a sites, Google, Google My Business. I don’t use any CRM for therapy side of work. And the only reason I don’t use it too much is just due to the fact of, um, I can’t always guarantee I’m gonna be available. I dunno if, if I have to go away on an exercise or. Or way to another country or anything.
So I just have my basic website, which have put all the relevant SEO in place and, and utilize my presence on Facebook, et cetera, just just for people to be able to find me. But a lot of people are word for mal. I don’t, you know, I don’t need 10 clients a week. I just need to be able to, to help people when they need, when they need the assistance.
Yeah. I, I appreciate what you said though about. You know, not always knowing when you’re gonna be available that I’ve been, I’ve been pretty open about the schedule of how we were moving over the last, uh, couple of months and, you know, kept everybody informed of six houses in five months and purposefully went into the website that drives the client business and took down some of the pages.
You know, just for the reason of, some of these are things that I would normally see someone for more of an ongoing thing, and it’d be a little bit more specific as to the timing between appointments and meanwhile, other categories may be a lot more flexible. Uh, so still making it a point to keep seeing the clients and doing the actual work, but again, that place where we kind of have to balance it out from our own life.
Absolutely. And um, I’ve, I’ve, I’ve shared it in many different places as well. Over the last, well, 12, what is it now, 16 months since the pandemic started. I’ve purposely made it. A reason is to not advertise. I’ve, you know, if I’ve had any results, I’ve put like a small post out and things because you need to, you still need to show that you’re live and you’re still a business, but person.
Marketing on a specific reach of what I used to do prior to them. I chose not to, like I said before, you know, I’ve got a guaranteed wage come what may every single month. So there’s people who a hundred percent relying just on therapy work. So if they get found before me, I’d prefer that I’d much rather than take across to be able to continue doing what they’re doing and feed their family.
At the end of the day, if someone finds me, they say they want to work with me, I’m not gonna turn ’em down. But if someone’s looking for a therapist, join this period or before when, when obviously there was furlough and everything in place, I would much rather someone has been able to go there to get, uh, a full paid day’s work rather than me who already has a job take extra away as such.
Although there’s two things inside of that, Graham. The first would be that one. That’s amazing. Thank you for that. . And two though. That kind of attitude is what I’ve actually seen more people become successful with. That something changes when we don’t operate from the mindset of need. Now, of course, the last, by the time this releases 16 to 18 months ago have been a very different timeframe, but I, I’d share a quick interaction with someone who was being a bit abrasive by email and confrontational by email and just finding the most polite way I could phrase it to.
I just want you to know, I’m gonna stop responding to these emails now for this polite reason, but you could let this, You’ve got two options here. One could be the person who would not help you, which is the story you’re currently holding onto. Or two, the person who refused to take you on as a client because he saw something in you that wasn’t ready.
And was confident enough with, and the person was seeking something that was business oriented, which is where I leaned on this. And the person who’s comfortable enough with their own business that they’d rather that time go empty than take someone’s money that they know they can’t yet help and parenthesis the most important word.
And that sentence was the word yet? Absolutely. That, that sort of, I don’t wanna say nothing to lose, but instead the more positive phrase of not necessarily needing, When people find that place in their business, that’s when there’s this comfort where we get on the call with a potential client and it’s just from this place of transparency, this is what I can help with.
This is it. And I always go back to something I heard Michael Desalt say, and I I credit him to go with the ultimate sales closing line. Okay, so what do you wanna do? ? Absolutely . That’s it. That’s, that’s it. Absolutely. I’ve been, I’ve been really fortunate though, cuz you know, one of the reasons we got talking for this today is cuz I own hypnosis online meetups, which, which I created, um, for affordable cpd.
So it, by stepping away from that, it gave me more of a goal to, to be able to push that into a much more successful place of where it is now reaching near three years. Well, it will, by time this goes out, It will, it will be three years. Yeah. Could you, could you talk about that project a bit? For those that don’t yet know what it.
So, yeah. So, uh, back in September, 2018, I had, um, an idea, well, it was actually just before then. I, I wanted to try and get more meetups in place. I live in Salsbury right next to Stonehenge. I wanted to try and meet up up with other local therapists. I suppose the in a geek in Me was the same as a magic group.
You know, where where we meet, we talk different talks, um, we all discuss everything. People can practice on each other and whatever, and just make, make our own little, not cults, but little group and, and get talking. I put the idea up there. I think we probably had about 30, 40 people from all around the place who were all interested.
It came to the evening and three people turned up three lovely people. We had a really great discussion. Um, we managed to share things and all the same things. Cropped up women with children or. Just not being able to get away cuz they’re single parents or whatever, Um, timeframes, clients what, uh, and, and the such like, and very much like you, I’m very into my tech, so I just thought, why not bring it online at this point?
I, you know, Zoom was still quite new. I’d heard about it, I’d looked into it and I thought, well, I got up to a hundred spaces. For a reasonable fee. Uh, if I host it, let’s see what we get there. So we pushed it out. Um, and then the first two meetups that we had, it was, um, I think we had about 16 people on board.
And we just did, just did the same sort of meet. But I also noticed, um, and we discussed about it, we soon noticed that it probably would’ve gone stale for conversation. So I thought, well, why not make it into the CPD that we should do? Cause the UK Hypnosis convention was coming up when we, when we first met.
I was able to discuss with a couple of other therapists as well, and then Daniel Ryan based in New York. He said he was more than happy to come on and join me to talk all about past life regression, and as the famous saying goes, the rest is history. I’ve now hosted over 40 different presenters. I think a charge of very small fee, basically for accountability because there’s nothing worse than putting something on for free and then people saying later they just can’t find it.
That’s a very small point, but worth highlighting that I started doing that when I was hosting a meetup group, um, in Virginia that, you know, by charging a fee, it, it’s the same as you’ve got tickets to go see a movie and it’s pouring down rain. And you might go, ah, let’s just do it over the weekend, another time out, which is wait for it to come on television when someone’s done anything of some level of commit.
Now it becomes, they make it work. Now, of course, you know there’s gonna be extenuating circumstances, but it’s just a simple statement as I know this, uh, paying podcast editors and graphic designers, these things do take time, energy, and money to produce. Absolutely. Um, and you know, I charge, so I charge 9 99 typically to, so I, I, I do, I do a role reverse.
I want my meetups to be all about the live audience, uh, because the way, the way it host is a, a person’s. I’m hosting the person live, uh, at that same time, because we’ve got Zoom, I have number of people on the chat live at the exact same time, so just like you and I are talking now, uh, if you had an audience, they could stop you.
You’d ask me to stop and that person can ask the question live exactly about that bit of information. We’ve all been on webinars where everyone’s typing away at the bottom. Um, that, you know, let’s take Mike and Chris at the moment. They’re doing their five day challenge and you know, you see all these comments and there’s no way they can keep up with it, but Right.
By having. And then narrat at the side. People can put that they’ve got a question. I can then stop it at suitable time. We can get the questions in direct to the person and, you know, straight from the horse’s mouth, so to say. Um, I’m, I joined the Army for a reason. I’m not the best reader of the world and no one wants me going.
Uh, how does this come across? And, you know, and, and next thing you know, the, this, the speaker’s like, Can you repeat what that means again? I didn’t quite get it. So instead I can just unmute the person who typed the question in the first place, or probably have a question. They ask it, the person answers it back, and at the same time, you know, some people may get a little bit starstruck.
You know, I remember the first time going to Ukc. The first one in, well it was actually the second one at Hilton in Canary Whaf. And you know, seeing all these different people, it’s hard to have conversations and stuff cuz you, all of a Anthony, Jacqueline, let’s take for example, you know, I trained and learned everything from him.
Next, you know, I’m talking magic to him. And, and having that there, it just means so much more. And like I say, for the small, for the small fee that it is, the small fee pays for. All my different little storage things I, I stream using Amazon s3. So yeah, every person who gets a replay, they’re actually, you know, I pay every single, every single time they watch it, you know, I pay for that stream.
So obviously that, that comes out and, and it runs itself, so to say. So the very, very small. Profit that does come from it. I’m usually investing, giving people prizes, buying books from a presenter who’s there or, or something just to be able to get them back or now and then, like I’ve just had this month with, um, Matt Kendall where there’s a, a free marketing.
Presentation that is just done. So I like to host someone free two times a year for anyone who, yeah, may not know about it, but I was saying just before, in fact. So yeah, I, if someone’s joining live, cuz I like the live audience and they’ll get the cheapest price. If they pre-book the replay, they’ll pay a little bit more and if they get the replay, it’ll be again, even a little bit more again.
So the drive is to try and attend live so you can ask your questions. If you miss out, then you pay that a little bit more because. So that’s my rules. ? No. What’s great about all of this is that, you know, just to share a connection here, I was the one in, in the office that was in Virginia, which is now all in boxes.
And at the time of this recording arrives in two days. Uh, everything’s been in cases for the last couple of months. I had students who would see like all the certificates on the wall. and they’d go, Hey, wow, you’ve done a lot of stuff. Um, why are they all within the same two years? It’s like, well, I kind of in my head crafted this five year plan of things I knew I wanted to do in terms of training and getting better at this.
And then the revelation of going, Oh wait, we’re talking about having kids next year. To my wife, I’m gonna do everything right now. , . But that then morphed into, you know, it was difficult. I try to pack in as much as I could around a conference. Uh, but that’s what morphed into then bringing in instructors to Virginia.
So, you know, whether it was flying Bob Burns over from Scotland or, uh, David Snyder from the West Coast, or Anes Simpson from British Columbia in Vancouver. But the whole original side of that had to be, I’m bringing the people who I wanted to go see and, you know, you all just get to come along too. And that’s part of the backstory of this podcast.
But what’s great about that is the line from the actor comedian Kevin Pollock, if you’re not creating, you’re wait. And here was the opportunity, thanks to technology, that we could suddenly make that happen and someone could be now face to face and this is what we can do now. Uh, I was laughing what you said about, you know, someone asks a question and then there’s the sudden interaction.
We keep popping up and doing these four hour sort of masterclass workshops and in one recently someone typed in the chat and I just went, Hey, your camera’s on. Let’s just go ahead and unmute you and spotlight you. Can you ask. Well, great. It sounds like we’ve gotta volunteer for the demo . It works. It works better though, doesn’t it?
It works, you know, person actually asking that question. The, just the color, the vibe to it. Everything. It’s, yeah. The amount of presenters who probably said, Oh, I might have said a little bit too much about that at the end, you know, they, as if they gave too much of their thing just because of that question.
You know, the gold did that little golden nugget that falls out the, the, uh, presentation, which, which. Make someone smile, make someone, give someone that extra little something that they can go away and work with in their therapy room. You know, that’s what it’s all about. Or something you said earlier. And I, I’d love to hear your take on this because honestly this was one of my sticking points coming from originally a stage hypnosis respect, and then moving into working with clients for change.
But it’s where that, that transition I have now hypnotized you, and now I’ve gotta talk about why you’re in front of me. And I think Jonathan Chase, correct me on this. He calls it the super suggestion, which is Jonathan Chase, something of that I believe, or somewhat from this point forward. Yeah, He can hear and can feel, feel.
You can feel anything. You can see. You can say, Was that Jonathan Chase or was that Anthony? I may have heard him say it and highlight it. Let’s give him the credit and Yeah. Yeah. Keep going in our chat though, , which would be just that question, and this is something that pops up in trainings that I offer.
All the time where they go, But how do I make that transition from the deepener into the actual thing? And the answer technically is just you start doing it. But what’s your take on that? How do we start to make that transition if there is even a transition? Yeah, very, very good question. I’m a very direct therapist.
Yeah. I’m definitely not a scriptor. I’ve tried it again. Me and reading doesn’t work too great. , so. I think the best thing to just do is use, utilize your imagination and where you believe things are going, and utilizing your intention, you can guide them to the best information. Now, whether it’s content free, whether you’ve got some content, just work with them, I believe, at the earliest stage.
Get as much information as you possibly can and guide them towards what you can, what you can construct. Think about the LA, the languages that you utilize when you are, when you’re making your skits up in order to throw the suggestion in place to imagine how they see things, but also calm it down as well.
You don’t need to repeat and repeat and repeat too much cause they won’t be necessary in as of a chance as what you would be from fractionated 30 times during a hypnosis shell. So yeah, just what. Mostly aimed towards is just taking your time with it. Have, have yourself a plan in mind. Although some people throw a very big argument of this, I don’t use scripts, but at very first I use bullet points, so I had areas of where I wanted to hit.
So should I feel lost, I could look at where I am to be able to keep me on track and be able to work something. Obviously, now I have. What you could call a script in my mind, but that script changes with every single client that’s in front of me wherever I throw a image. I love what you said about the bullet points.
That’s, that’s something that, you know, that was in my list of things that I started to do when I first got into all of this, which was to say, let me, you know, let me look at a script as if it were a transcript of someone else’s session, but just pull out the individual bullet points of what are the themes.
What are the things that we’re bringing up inside of this? And that becomes that sort of session swipe file without fully reading to the person, of course. But that’s something that we do in the training sometimes to say, Okay, so weight loss, here are the themes that most often come up and here’s how to handle them.
You know, what else do you have issu? And by getting that roadmap now we’ve got something to launch from. Well, that’s the thing as well. And from what you’re saying there about the themes, I like that because I’ve just had a weight loss client recently and just from talking to her for 20 minutes, it finishes and, and the amount of times we’ve all had it, it’s like, you know me and I’m completely honest to every client and just saying, No, All I’m doing is repeating what the last client said to me.
Cause . You all, you all fall into the same bracket. And for me, listening and being able to take it in and be able to regurgitate it back, I’m simply expressing what you, what you share is exactly the same to the last successful client that I had as well. And being able to target that and you know that I can target it, you know that you are gonna get the best results from this session today.
And obviously that that little suggestion in itself. And cause it even more in to be able to lock everything in place that’s required to get a great result from the session. That’s a beautiful way of introducing that, especially that they’re, they’re technically part of a community and you know, as they’re that community.
Right? Yeah. Do you bring any of your own weight loss story into either your marketing or recessions? I did more when I lost, when I lost my weight. Uh, obviously naturally the, I had a comparison image cause I went from, um, 17 stone down to 14 stone. I’ve probably balanced out a little bit now with children and, and just general life.
You always find that balance. But I’m no, you know, I’m never nowhere near the size of what I was, but it’s been able to understand it. Another little thing is as well that I’ve, you know, I’m, same as what you said before, from having people talk on my meetups, I’m always constantly looking for little nuggets of extra stuff I can add.
And I recently hosted Laurie Hammond and, and just some of her pointers from her weight loss, like for example, intermittent fasting. Now I can’t tell someone how to intermittent fast cause I’m not a dietician. But utilizing her words of, uh, eating when your windows are open Yeah. Makes it completely different.
And it to the, to the fact I’ve actually been adapting that in my life. Cause I, I actually stated on there that I couldn’t. I couldn’t not eat in the morning without feeling sick, especially if I had a drink. I then realized that the drink I was having was a cup of tea. A cup of tea contains milk. Milk gets the adrenal, um, the Yep.
insulin going, which therefore starts my stomach. I started having a drink of water in the morning. I was unable to go up until 12 o’clock. Yeah, at lunch, lunchtime to before my stomach would start rumbling. And it really did make me start to think more about my eating habits and, and how I was behaving.
So, so yeah, there’s, there’s many, many different things. I, you know, I do share some of the, some of the analogies of what I went through, and most importantly, listening to that voice that tells you what you should and shouldn’t be eating. Um, if it’s telling you to eat it, try it because you are, you’ll find it, you’ll probably enjoy it a lot more.
If it’s telling, just stay away from it, then stay away from it, because, you know, Is it very likely the thing that’s gonna make you fat, um, or whatever wording you like to use, you know? Well, it’s where when you get down to it, it comes down to, to borrow a line from Sheila Grainger, Uh, a few small, realistic changes.
You can absolutely live with that. As someone who’s lost substantial weight over the years. You know, it came down to a few simple principles and none of it was the eat this, don’t eat that. It was instead. Well, I look at it this way now, you know, if I can look at my plate and I plagiarize this one from a client , um, if I can look at my plate and I can name all the ingredients, I’m likely Okay.
You know, as opposed to if I’m having to guess what’s in it. And some of the takeaways, you know, I’d find its way to. Turn into some bit of direct suggestion of it the same way that, you know, it’s not about when you’re not eating. It’s instead, well, here’s the window as popular thinking in that world as to when you actually are eating.
But to, to get into just the simplicity of something and, you know, use the exercise to get better at something. As opposed to, you know, rather than the, I’m using this to punish my body and burn away all the calories. No, this is, I went in for a personal training session recently as we switched gyms and they offered it free.
And I’m like, this is not gonna go well, . Why? Because this is my time to practice something to get better at it, to build strength at something. And it’s all right, let’s run into the workout. I’m like, I’m already, I’m already getting angry at this guy. This is not how I do it. . No, absolutely. And, and one of the big things as well is obviously the whole term of fat Shaman.
Yeah. I don’t agree with, I don’t agree with fat Shaman, but I do agree with utilizing the words of what the client says. Now, if a client says that they’re fat, I will call them fat, because thats the terminology that, that they start with. And obviously everything will trigger towards the fact of being fat if you don’t stick with it.
However, one thing that I, I came up with is the fact of, uh, when you’re doing a change work, you may come into a room which is full of mirrors. You know, they can decide to stand there whether they’re clothed or, or naked, but they’re looking at themselves properly. They’re looking at their fat areas, they’re looking at the desire itself in 6, 12, 18 months time.
And I like them to put on, you know, that, that. Image of what they have. They’ve, you know, they reach forward and put like a morph suit on just, you know, just a metaphor extent. But I like to finish it off that at the end of it, they are no longer fat. They’re a working project towards that goal of what they want to achieve.
And I get them to re repeat it more, you know, multiple times. What are you, I’m a working project. Are you going to achieve that working? Yes, I am. You know, that, that goal’s there, they’ve, they, you know, they’ve got something to achieve towards rather than just, The same thing of, Oh yeah, it’s been 30 13 minutes now and I’m still fat.
What’s going on with me? Do you know what I mean? So completely shifting all the way to the right. Another thing as well, uh, it’s only something I’ve actually recently started doing actually, is, um, when someone states that they have probably too many takeaways. I’d get them to save their money to one side to see how fast they actually make up the, the cost of what it cost me to, to do the therapy with them.
And considering someone saved 132 pound in, in two weeks, it wasn’t very long until she was starting to save up her money to to pay herself back for the sessions that she’d had with me, which is quite amazing. And also quite saddening to think of how much she spent on KFCs and whatnot in the mean. Yeah.
Yeah. This has been great, Graham, having you on here and hearing the insight is terms of how you got into all of this, and especially just bringing the transparency into the communication of it as well. Some great insights of how to work with people. How can people best get in contact with you? Uh, so the best place for me is my hypnosis online meetups.com.
You know, I host a lot of stuff through there. I’ve got a, a Facebook, uh, group and page for it. Graham Webber. On Facebook, feel free to, to send me a friend request. However, just send me a little message or something that you’ve heard from me on here or something. As you can imagine, a lot of friend requests come through.
I like to look at profiles to see if they’re genuine in stuff. I like to say hi to people. Um, I wanna don’t get a high back. Then I tend to delete him because, you know, I’m sure everyone goes through that in their, in their careers. Now, you know, I, I do only have one Facebook account, so I’m more than happy to share things with people.
But just, just send me a message and say that you heard from me on here, which it’d be really great to connect with people. Yeah, and we’ll put everything over in the show notes. This is episode number 341, so if you just go to work smart hypnosis.com/ 3 41, that’ll just bring you right over. We’ll put those links over on the website too.
Grant, before we wrap it up, any final thoughts for the listeners out there? Be yourself. Be confident and just believe in what you can do, whether it’s trying to get someone into hypnosis, whether it’s just trying to connect with someone. Think about if it was you in in them shoes, how would you want to be treated and follow it up?
You know, I always say to my children, Treat people how you want to be treated. And if you do, you’ll always go a million ways in life. If you treat someone in, in a rude manner, you’ll get rude back. So always treat people how you want to be treated. And that goes exactly the same for for therapy. So always, always.
Do that. Jason Lynette here once again, and as always, thank you so much for leaving your reviews online for interacting with this program and sharing it in your ongoing conversations. Be sure to head over to the show [email protected] to find the details as to the community that Graham runs and how to become a part of that too.
And on top of that, while you’re there, check out Work Smart Hypnosis Live. Dot com. The skills that we have can help people to change people’s lives. The skills that we share with our clients help them to transform themselves and even the lives of those around them. However, imagine the confidence that’ll be different inside of what you do when you can go about it logically, effectively, with proven systems that make it so you can really be there in the moment with your client, Troubleshoot any of the process on the fly.
And customize specifically to their needs. That’s what Work Smart Hypnosis Live is all about. So get the details, watch the full video. We’ll see you there at Work Smart hypnosis live.com. Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast and work smart hypnosis.com.
