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This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 380. Karen Dubby on the art of getting out of your own way. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette that. I am so excited for you to listen to this conversation with Karen Dubey.
I first met Karen when she actually attended one of our work Smart Hypnosis live and online training events, and have since interacted with her inside of other programs, whether it’s hypnotic business systems or even on the Influence brand. And she’s someone who I’ve always known and let me just kick this off, right.
I’ve always known she was brilliant yet to have this conversation and. The story behind it and where it all comes from. And honestly, I will say one of the few people that I can name that takes multiple modalities, different approaches and blends them together in a way and really makes them her own.
That is something that I already knew, but just got the full gorgeous confirmation of inside of this episode, which kind of makes. As her business is called flexible mindset strategies, which as much as yes, yoga is part of her background, as you listen to this conversation, you’re gonna hear how. It’s more so the mind based flexibility part of yoga, not just the stretchy body and breathing part of yoga, but also the mindfulness based approach of how we focus our minds to then focus our bodies and how there’s so many correlations within that toward the work that we can do to help our clients.
You’re also gonna hear an extreme. Personal story about what started her journey, and I will say this right here now, help to kind of, I wouldn’t say change the belief system, but help to further refine a belief system of how some people go about producing change. A preview of this conversation, yes, we could work with someone to get the help to do it, uh, with their assistance, but there’s also the fact that as we become.
I will carefully use this word even to myself, the expert on the modality. It informs us better the work that we need to do, but also then arms us to then help others. My short version of that become a part of the solution rather than live inside of the problem. So this conversation goes from her own journey of a specific struggle to that, of then stepping into her own personal change, a fantastic description of exactly what it means to bring spirituality into the change process, the hypnotic components that are already inside of other modalities, and with perfect timing.
This episode is release. At about the same time that Karen’s book is coming out, which you might have already guessed the title based on this week’s podcast episode, The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way, which will make this easy. This is episode number 383. If you head over to work smart hypnosis.com/.
3, 8 3. That’ll bring you directly over to the show notes for this week’s episode, and that’s where you can find the link to Karen’s website for her business, her social media channels, and we will link you directly to where to go to pick up a copy of the art. Of getting out of your own way, you’re in for a treat.
Listening to this episode, you can find all the resources over on that podcast page, and while you’re there, I would strongly encourage you head over to Work Smart Hypnosis live. Dot com. I will say that, let me edit this phrasing in real time. Uh, I would say that this was a training that Karen was a part of, yet clearly it’d be arrogant of anybody to say this is the program that launched her yet.
No. The reality is people come in to even our hypnosis training and certification event. From different backgrounds and different experiences. She came in already with a knowledge of nlp. However, we also have people come in who are already working hypnotists, and yes, we also have people come in, the majority who are brand new and choosing the work Smart Hypnosis live and online certification event as their first formal training.
So the interesting thing, just to give you a little quick nuance here to any audience you can speak. There’s basically three crowds of people you could speak to. There are the die hards, there’s the, uh, satisfied and there’s the frustrated. And this is modeled after something inside of, uh, one of Russell Brunson’s books from the ClickFunnels company that the mistake people often make is trying to market to everybody.
And the die hards are the people, for example, that are ready to buy the iPhone. , but at the time of this recording, the 14 hasn’t even come out yet. Uh, but they already know they’re gonna buy the iPhone, iPhone 15 because they’re already in line to buy the iPhone 14, which isn’t even releasing yet. So you’re not gonna sway those people.
There’s the satisfied. So like, I mean, it be nice if I had a different car, but the one I have right now was running fine enough. Um, I was ready to pay cash for it. And this is not to brag at all, uh, yet when the dealership offered me 0.49% as an interest rate, I’m like, what’s the least amount of money I can put down?
And like, it’s fine. I mostly work from home and drive to the gym. So like, you’re not gonna sway me on a car. The frustrated people though, Oh, I hate my phone. I need a new one. Oh, I’ve done this other modality of change. It didn’t work for. Um, that’s the frustrated audience and inside of Work Smart Hypnosis live and online.
It’s how we’ll get people who are both brand new and it’s the first thing they’re doing, but there’s also people who, you know, are already, let’s say, significantly trained, at least on paper. And yet they’re noticing the gaps. They’re not quite getting consistent results, and that’s why we gather such a widespread audience for this event.
I’ll keep it brief here. Simply put head over to work smart hypnosis live.com. Watch the video at the top of the page to see all the details and how we do this in an online format. Look through the page somewhere. You’ll find a screen grab of a class and go, There’s Karen, uh, , but then also look at the dates.
If those are a fit for you, you’ll see there’s two options to join us. If those are not a fit, pop an email over to [email protected] We always have one in the pipeline after the current one, so check that out. Watch the video. Join us now at Work Smart Hypnosis. Dot com after you’ve, of course then picked up your copy of The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way by Karen Dubey, which, uh, speaking of that, hey, here we go.
Session number 383. Karen Doey on the art of getting out of your own way?
Well, first to help others, I had to help myself. So, um, getting, getting over obstacles that I had as a, as a young child and in my teenage years, and that really came through in eating disorders and body image issues that I had and trying to control things in my. Based on that. So I wanted to help myself.
I studied nutrition. I became a registered dietician. Um, I worked in medical nutrition therapy and things of that sort just to, to really help myself get over my own problems. And, you know, the, the root of, of group therapy and, and even psychotherapy at that time sort of made me worse. Um, I felt competitive with other people to be.
To be the most messed up to, to have the, the, the, the best eating disorder. And so it really came down to me having to help myself and how can I work through this problem? And so I studied, I studied nutrition, I studied wellness, I studied holistic medicine, all really for the, for the outcome of helping myself.
And then, and then that became a passion, is to help other people to not suffer with this also. Yeah. And the way you just phrased that, uh, I’ve gotta say probably changed one of my opinions. Um, so off to a great start. . No, it would be that sometimes, you know, the sort of snarky way to phrase it in a training is that sometimes someone’s in the wrong chair.
Um, as in maybe they should have been the client before they were then learning to become the practitioner of something and, and yet what’s missing from that kind of dialogue? And I, I learned that phrase and I, it doesn’t matter who I originally heard that from, but what you just shared there is, is enlightening that we catch ourselves in a place where being on the receiving end, um, isn’t the right fit.
And you know, my paraphrase on this is that let me move into the place of developing the expertise on the solution, which yes, will also help me, but also gives me an ability to then help others. Would you say that was part of that, that journey then of learning the skill set, not just for yourself, but also what was it, the goal to.
Also learn it for the means of helping others. Initially it wasn’t. It was really to help myself. I just was, I was really tired of, of like this, um, I forget what it’s called, but like the weight of the world on my shoulders. It felt like carrying this problem with me all the time. And so, Initially it was really to help myself.
And in doing so, I, I, I studied and I learned, and I realized that there’s a service in helping others. Um, it’s interesting in, in the world of yoga, because eventually I became a yoga teacher and in all my formal studies, um, People come to yoga for because, because they’re suffering in some way. It could be benign suffering, but we come cuz we wanna get better, We wanna heal from something, we wanna improve something.
And, and all of the work that I was doing for myself made me realize, you know what? I can help so many people to suffer less and to feel better and to become better. So then was there a pivot point then where it kind of made that transition for. Of learning it, not just for yourself, but then something really igniting to go, I can use this now to become my profession, to become my passion and serve others.
Yeah, I had a few, a few of those turning points actually. It wasn’t just one, one moment in life, but, uh, when I, when I first, uh, started practicing nutrition, I worked in a hospital in medical nutrition therapy, and it was all formulas and methodology and, and creating, uh, equations for the macronutrient, profiling for people, you know, they had enter, uh, feeding tubes and so forth.
So I had to derive their entire, um, nutrition panel. Of how much they were getting each day. And, and when I left that job, I thought I was ready to enter the world of private practice. And I thought, Here, I’m ready. I, I wanna help people. And the first two clients that I had came into my office was a mother and then a daughter.
And they both had all of these emotional issues. Surrounding food, and I had no idea how to help them. I was, I was not trained in that. I was more, you know, soap notes and, uh, intake forms, and it, it, I, I wasn’t communicating with people enough. So then I had to revamp myself and learn all about personal communication and rapport and trust.
And then that was when I was able to start really helping. . Yeah. And what was the journey then to get into that side of things where, Correct me the previous, you know, sort of nutritional training was how to create that macronutrient profile, but. Here was this gap that was holding people back from even just making use of that plan?
Yes. Um, well, when people had like triple bypass surgery and stuff, they had to kind of take the, take the prescription and go with it or else they were gonna be coming back in for another one. . Um, I’m laughing for all the wrong reasons, but then again, it was a cousin who laughed at it more than the rest of us, which was, what is it?
Gastric sleeve is one of the most intensive versions of the surgery where they’re not like binding there Remov. And, um, all the warning was, was don’t drink carbonated beverages. And, uh, just took one time and he goes, Oh, that’s why. Um, there are specific limitations, but still it’s that emotional. Aspect of it that’s often so missing.
Yes. So what I did was I worked at a, um, an eating disorder clinic. It was called the Renford Center. And I became the registered dietician on their panel to help work with young, young women predominantly, um, that were. In house, like staying there for a period of time to get better. And I knew from my own past experiences that that get better was not just, um, do this and don’t do that.
There was a lot of connection and, and trust and rapport that had to happen there and, and really building that over time. So the no, like trust really became the, the. Essence of how I would try to work with people. And then I took that into private practice and worked with people in nutrition. And then that over time became more coaching, which let’s really kick off this episode in the proper way, which is me praising the hell out of you.
Uh, as we go back, you’ve. Attended several of the trainings that I’ve done, and you’re a member of different groups that we organize and there’s some people that you know in, in the training world I refer to as the hyphenate, where they’ve got several different modalities. Yet for most people it seems they still kind of live in their own little separate islands.
And this is part of why I wanted to have you on this program is the way that you have found your own systems have kind of had to bring all of it together. So that it compliments how in the course of this conversation so far, we’ve already hit upon, you know, becoming the registered dietician, but also the yoga work as well, which is not just the body work.
Can you, can you elaborate on how that fits into this world now? Yeah, it’s interesting cuz in western culture yoga is more like, The body. Are you flexible like Gumby? And you know, when people hear that I, I taught yoga for 25 years, they, they will automatically assume I must be super flexible. And that is a byproduct of practicing diligently and consistently six days a week for 25 years.
Um, so yes, but what I did learn in the process is that it’s really the flexibility of the mind. It’s, it’s a mindful practice. And one of the definitions or descriptions of yoga. To focus your mind for a period of time without disruption. And interestingly, it’s the same definition of meditation. So yoga is a moving meditation practice and it helps you to be able to, um, stay focused and get clear on on, on what, what it is that you want in life.
And so it’s not just a physical practice. . So then this dialogue that I introduced about the art of taking everything and blending it together, what space does that meditative practice does? That yoga mindset part of it, what does that fill in the gaps for? From just, I guess we could say from information alone that would come from the nutritional science?
Well, I think the number one thing is that. Mm. In terms of nutrition, uh, I can give you, uh, a handout telling you what you should have and what you shouldn’t have. And we can have goals and outcomes and, and results that we want. But if we’re only chasing the result without a spiritual practice or something more, um, more spiritual in its nature than it, it kind of is chaotic because we’re just chasing the outcome.
When there’s something spiritual, it means that we’re. Understanding that there’s something beyond our, our understanding. We understand that there’s more, and that’s the spiritual essence. And I think that when you wanna set any kind of goal, um, having, having a spirituality behind it will lead you in the process to be more fulfilled.
The beauty of the word spirituality is that it’s ambiguous. It can go in all sorts of different directions. When, when you use it in this context, how, how would you define that? Hmm. So in yoga there’s a lot of, um, deese there, like in Hindu cuz it’s origin is from, from India, from Hinduism. And so there’s a lot of deese and each deity has a representation.
So it’s not a religious orientation, but they have these attributes. And so when we’re trying to invoke certain kind of qualities, kind of like in nlp, we’re modeling excellence from, from people’s success. It’s similar in that. We’re invoking, um, attributes of other people or other, the, in this case, the dets that we want to, um, sort of download into our dna.
And when we do that, we’re able to, um, start becoming who we want to be. We’re starting to really amplify those qualities within us. Uh, so it’s not a religious orientation. So spirituality I think, sometimes gets mistaken for. A religion and it’s, it’s not, it’s really just understanding that there’s a, like a divinity within us.
There’s a higher sense of ourselves that we want our future self, if you will. If we wanna, we become more than what we are. That spirituality, I love that as a definition of things then. So then can you, can you comment a bit though on this sort of correlation of the different modalities and how it’s, how it’s come together for.
So Yoga in essence is, is a mindful practice and a flexibility of the mind, which is how I got the name of my business. Flexible Mindset strategies. That is so good. and Iveta is another. Science that I’ve studied, it’s, it’s actually called the Sister Science of yoga and Iveta is eastern medicine. So I’ve studied that as an adjunct to yoga so I can understand holistically the totality of people.
So that becomes the mind, body, and spirit. Um, physical movement has always been super important for me, and, and that happens in the postures and in other kinds of movements too. Um, and. And then then understanding the, the other influences, including diet and herbology. And we have like a pharmacopia of just seasons, uh, seasonings, that we have spices in our own kitchen that actually can be used medicinally.
So I, I really embody the whole mind, body, and spirit. So there, when someone reaches out to work with you, is there a specific place where it often begins? I think I’ve moved a little bit more away from the health coaching as the forefront of my business. Yeah. I, I work a lot more with, with women, I guess, contemporaries, women that are.
Similar in age, adult moms, um, that want to get out of their way, that feel stuck in some kind of area of their life that want something more. They may not know what that something is yet, but they know there, there’s a, there’s a drive. There’s something inside of them that knows I’m here to do more and I want to do more.
And I just, I, I just need help identifying it. I need to get out of my own way. Yeah. And inside of that though, that then brings about these. The, these types of issues we’ve been talking about so far, but I love that insight to focusing on that specific audience. Was that, was that something that you had intended on originally or is that what it’s kind of morphed into over time?
It was nothing I actually intended on. I wanted to not box myself into working with women and I would never really turn away anyone. I, I, I, I will gladly work with people who are. Motivated and interested in creating change and transformation? Uh, I think the, the term like attracts like, um, women gravitate towards me.
Uh, I give them a sense of comfort and relatability. So it just seems to have morphed in that direction because there is that, that element that, uh, of, of relatability. Maybe, maybe because I’m a woman or maybe because of the energy that I. Can exude. Um, they, I, I, women are attracted to, to working with me.
Got it. Got it. And then on a hypnosis podcast, we gotta come around to this , which is that somewhere in this journey there came the NLP there, then came the hypnosis. and here already was the experience with the nutritional work. Here came the yoga and other, you know, related modalities. Was it a decision to seek out hypnosis or an nlp?
Was it kind of revealed to you by a, a series of events? How did that pop into it? You know, it’s funny. When I was a kid, my father used to say to me, cuz I would, I was not a kid, I was in college studying psychology and then biology and nutrition. He says, Are you ever gonna just get a job? Are you ever gonna stop learning?
And at that time I didn’t realize like, No, I’m gonna, I’m gonna always be a student for life. I’m gonna be a student for, for my entire life. Just learning. Um, and put it into a professional career path too. But at the time I didn’t know how to answer that. But now I feel very comfortable and confident in saying I am a learner for life.
And with that, I, I just wanted to up my game and learn how to. Help people and learn every modality of it. So behavior profiling became really fascinating to me. Learning. I remember you said it once in, in one of our, uh, courses, um, we have two eyes and two ears so we can observe more and listen more. And we have one mouse, so speak less and mm-hmm.
Something to that effect. I might have been paraphrasing it, but, but it always resonated with me. And, and, and so observing people and their body language and not just listening to what they say, but listening to what they’re not saying. And that really became fascinating to me. And it just led me to nlp.
And then the trainings in that led me to hypnosis. Right? What, what could be better than being able to help? With suggestibility and, and help that lead people to make the changes they wanna make. And I’ve had a chance to actually read through the book that you’ve got coming out. Uh, I believe about the time this episode is coming out, The art of Getting out of your own way.
And before we get to that though, I want to have this conversation with you that I is one of my favorite topics, which is the place where the NLP and the hypnosis. Then becomes complimentary to what we already have in our world, uh, which I’ll, I’ll set the stage for where this question comes from, which is that sometimes I’ll get the question with the training that I do.
Uh, and if I’m remember remembering, I think you might have asked me this too, uh, which is what percentage of your students actually end up, you know, offering it out professionally and to listen to part of this conversation? So far it’s where I can safely say, Well, step one more than most. However, it’s a hard answer because not everybody takes.
With the goal of opening up shop and doing it professionally, your, your journey began in another modality. But there’s people who find their way into a hypnosis training or an NLP event in the same context. Likewise, and this is the part I wanna have the chat with you on, what we start to realize, you mentioned the, you know, increasing the suggestibility, increasing the receptivity.
Uh, I would say that, and this is my little riddle on this. Would be that there’s always hypnotic components on top of other modalities, but it’s often a little bit more difficult to find other modalities embedded inside of hypnosis. That sounds pretty, pretty spot on. Yeah, I would agree with that. It took me a bunch of years to finally come to that phrasing.
So , well let, let’s highlight it. From the other work that you do? You know, I, I can talk to, you know, here’s someone I’m working with privately that she does a lot of eft and when you look at it, there’s the compounding of suggestion. There’s clear anchoring, there’s, um, calibration, there’s all these components, which is never to say, Oh, it’s just because the hypnotic stuff I would.
The hypnotic stuff amplifies what’s already going on. So from already having healing modalities in your toolbox, then getting into the hypnosis and nlp, are there specific examples of things that you’ve been able to find a better result from, a more consistent result from, or at least a better understanding?
No, I, I don’t, I don’t wanna say that I’m a, a cheerleader for, for my clients, but I am really a cheerleader for my clients. Uh, I, I, I, I cheer them on and I give them the, the, the, the memory of knowing. How, how good they are inside of them. I, I give them the opportunity of recognizing their potential within them.
So I’m always being motivating and inspiring to them. And, and so the suggestions come with being able to remind them of how. Extraordinary, they really are. And how capable they are and how, how much ability that they do have and how resourceful they are. So I, I’m not a cheerleader, but I definitely cheer them on a hundred percent and use the power of suggestion to make sure that they feel that, um, through and through the entire session.
And if I can swoop in with the terminology, you say cheerleading and let’s just put the simple word on it of compound. Yeah, for sure. And that, that’s a huge thing that so many people miss out on of ratifying the changes that are already in motion. And I, I’d be curious if you’ve had this similar experience of, Oh, well this week’s been kind of rough, not much is different.
And then you ask a few chunk down questions and find out everything has been different. Um, and it’s not for the sake of ever going, No, you’re wrong. You, you did much better. No, you’re fine. No, it’s instead, We’re a culture that’s often trained to look for the negative and to highlight even those tiniest of changes is what often is that first, let’s say, foot in the door to get the process really in motion.
Right. Yeah. Even with my children, when they, when they were younger, uh, they would come home from school when we would eat dinner together and we didn’t just say, How was your day? We would say, Tell us what was really good today. Tell us one thing at lunchtime that happened today. And we would always, my husband and I would always have them extract like, something good that happened cuz it’s so easy to just say fine.
Good. . Okay. Boring glass was boring. Uh, so I’m always working with my clients in the same way. Tell me, tell me one thing that was good. If you, if you could reflect on one thing that was good. Tell me what that was. That’s, that’s outstanding. Which, let’s talk about the book because I’m sure this is also going to ratify a lot of what we’ve already been.
Speaking on, uh, let, let’s start with the idea of it. Where did the idea of this come from in terms of creating, uh, as I read through it, a manual on exactly what the title promise is? The art of getting out of your own way? Yeah. Well, uh, I would say that it took me 50 years to realize that I was in my way.
Uh, so I would, this has been a book in, in, in the making for many, many years. I was in my way so much of my life, um, and, and. I start the book off talking about how I was a really smart, really, really intelligent little girl, and because of that, I felt my family used to call me Double Brain, and that was the nickname they had for me.
And I felt like I had this expectation of being that all the time. And then when things got harder for me, and workloads got more demanding. School. I wasn’t, I wasn’t a double brain anymore. It was, it was really hard for me. It was challenging, and I didn’t have the work ethic to know how to actually study because it was so natural for me earlier on.
And so that was my number one, uh, like getting in my own way because then I started giving up in school. My grades plummeted and I, and I, and I. Really started sitting in the back of the classroom not, not wanting to be seen anymore. And that was became my identity. That became my identity of, of getting in my own way.
And that led to many other things that also got in my way. And I realized it’s, it’s, it’s exhausting to be in your own way. So what could we do to just get out of our own way? So then let, let’s go off of that for a moment that you mentioned, like, you know, focus within school and. How, how much of it would you say comes down to just better tactics, better strategies, versus really shifting that internal mindset?
Uh, a lot of it was just internal shift of mindset. It’s, it’s really the inner knowing of I can, and I will. And uh, when my youngest daughter, uh, was, was um, afraid to, uh, go in gymnastics on the, on the balance beam, cause it’s a little bit scary. We would teach her to say, I can and I will. And that became her mantra for life.
She’s a, a graduate of college and she’s still to this day, she wrote that in her essays that I can and I will, was her mantra. And, um, I bought a necklace and it says, because I can, and I know how you, before you start your recordings, you, you clap your hands cuz it kind of anchors you into that mindset.
But I tap, I tap my neck. Because I can, and it sets me into even when I, when I have fear, even when I am afraid, even when I feel uncertain, I, I then have that mindset and I just say, because I can, I love that, especially the, you know, figuring out our own anchors, our own things that bring us back into it.
Um, I was giggling there for a moment, inappropriately, Uh, my family and I were recently at an event, which was a business training, but it was geared towards family. Our kids at 11 years old and nine year olds were there with us. And I think it’s the first time I’ve attended something like this with my wife ever, uh, outside of many years ago when we were in college.
And at first it was the , Hey, let me go down there early and get seats. It’s like, oh, it’s a big, massive venue. They’ve had these jumbo, you know, screens for us to watch. And it was just me calling out the strategy. as to No, no, no. Um, if I’m not at the front of the room, I start to fade out . And one part of it is the, uh, this is true, unfortunately.
Uh, the fact that I’m taking notes on my computer and now there’s people behind me, which means they can see my screen. Yes, I could get a fancy thing to cover it up and make it more private, but no, now I have to pay attention and stay on task. Uh, and as I revealed that it was. Okay. Yeah, go ahead, . But, but it comes around to, you know, not just the tactic of the cheat code of mine, of going, I gotta be up front to really, again, the emotional mind of it, the story that, that we tell ourselves.
If you had to kind of pull out one of the specific adjustments, one of the specific strategies, From the book to share here, what, what kind of stands out to you to really, you know, preview the world? I, I think the most important belief, um, because the, the book has a lot of principles of, of, um, a growth mindset.
And I think that one of the, the hugest takeaways is the belief that you can, the belief that we have the ability to grow and change and develop any skill that we, we choose to. Um, and, and then, then it’s. Fair game for anything. So then in terms of shifting that belief, and we can’t either of us cheat here and just say, Geez, use hypnosis, uh, when, when the belief structure, let’s say, doesn’t come easily.
What? What’s kind of the route that you tend to recommend for Hey, for people to get out of their own way? I think that discipline is a huge factor. Discipline and knowing. So part of the book talks about passion and purpose. If you know your purpose and your why, then I think that you’re a little more driven towards what you want rather than staying.
Where you don’t want. Uh, and then, and discipline creating or cultivating discipline is really important. And some people think that discipline becomes this, uh, framework of rigidity, um, uh, like a routine. Even, even in yoga. Uh, Practicing every day. Doesn’t it become mundane? Doesn’t it become rigid? It, it has created, it has created a framework, and within that framework, I have the flexibility to, to, um, maneuver and change things within that framework so that I can adapt on different days to what I’m going through.
So I think discipline is really the key factor, um, for, for any, any change over time. And let’s get specific then, because like when we were chatting back and forth, setting this up, you mentioned that sort of the young professional and young at heart professional could also be included inside of this, where we’ve often become this culture of wanting it now and getting that in motion.
What’s, what’s your take on when we become either appropriately or let’s say inappropriately, Impatient and it’s gonna take those reps over time to actually get us there. How do you, how do you tend to coach or consult around that? How do I coach around? Um, patience. Yeah. Hmm. Uh, well, I think, I think I lead by example that when you, when you want to create change, it takes time.
Um, there’s a difference between, um, Happiness and, and pleasure. And pleasure is for the immediate gratification. Happiness is putting your future self in front of your presence self and saying, Yes, it will take some time and I’m gonna get there. And I think that is where long term happiness occurs. So, uh, I think that there’s a lot of, a lot of, uh, studies to show to back this up, that immediate graphic, the most successful people, um, were.
Uh, were, um, child children were, were, um, studied to see how they grew and became more successful as they got older. And the one thing that they all had in common is postponing immediate gratification. Mm-hmm. . And so things take time. Things, things happen over time. And patience is really the key to that. I will only indirectly reference one of my children, pass the marshmallow test with flying colors.
The other, Let’s keep chatting . No, it’s that, it’s that ability to, with this audience, it’s often one of finding a way to enjoy the journey of getting there and completely finding that instant gratification satisfaction, even when the desired result isn’t there yet. Um, I recently went through, uh, surgery and, you know, the chat with the doctor as to now I’m cleared to go back in the gym and lift heavy things.
And all I had to say out loud was, well, yeah, I just took about 10 weeks off though, and because of that I’m just going to reset everything and my focus is gonna be on form for the next couple of weeks and months. And just by doing that, the, you know, the strength will slowly come back. And the doctor that has the sheet of paper in his hand of all the guidances and all the rules after surgery, he goes, I guess we’ll keep this thing
Um, but it’s that ability to bring that in. Could you kind of give us, uh, let, let’s phrase it this way, um, and I’ll be, try to be less flippant in the way that I ask it, uh, which is if you had to give us the tour of the takeaway from the book and the journey you take people on in three minutes or less, Uh, , which I.
There’s quite a bit to it, but what would you say is that journey that you’re taking people on inside of this pathway to get out of their own way? Three minutes or less? On the takeaway of the book on this journey, uh, would be that tenacity, commitment, patience. Perseverance, grit, discipline. These are all like the forefront adjectives that describe people that really want to get out of their way.
And embracing and learning how to use some of the strategies that are in the book to create and cultivate that person will help you to achieve the goals. The outcome is a byproduct of the process of who you become along the way. And I, I think, um, What you were saying just before this reminded me of the, the story of the, and this could be used in any application in life, but I just know it from a dancer’s perspective, that the, uh, the beginner student wants to take the most advanced classes, and then the advanced student says, You know what?
I’m gonna go back to the beginner ballet class and start from like the, the, the foundation. And so it’s always being willing to, to. Postpone the immediate gratification of wanting everything now and just go back to the basics and, and step by step. And what I really appreciated from reading through your book was that it comes around these extremely straightforward principles presented in a, in a unique sequence.
And that by doing so, we don’t have to necessarily then compartmentalize to go, Oh, for this issue, do this, or for that issue, do that instead. Here’s this internal work that then makes us more effective in all these other facets of life. Yeah. I don’t really think that this is a kind of book that you read from covered of cover and just put down and, and you know, you got it in one shot.
I think it’s like more of a reference that you pick up, you look at, you digest the information, and you go back. Because as we change, our interpretation of seeing the same material again, will resonate with us in a little bit of a different way. And when we’re ready for more, it will mean more to. I forget if this brief anecdote popped up in some of the events that you’ve done with me, though.
It goes back to an actor who, first of all, when I worked in the professional theater world, at one point he had, at least for the Washington DC area, the record for the most number of weeks worked in one year, which he somehow, I believe that the number was like 83 weeks. , which is impressive cuz there’s only 52 weeks in a year
Um, yet what that refers to is he could be in rehearsal for one play while he was in production for another mm-hmm. . And this was the guy who was now in his late eighties. And if you needed someone of that type, you’d call Ralph. Um, and I, I bring him up here because in his 70 years of being an actor, since being a teenager,
He referred to something that you just said, which was that, you know, he’s someone who had performed every major male role in all of Shakespeare multiple times to the point that in one production, we had an actor who was suddenly sick. And I go, I’ll call Ralph and see if he can do it. And he shows up.
He’s Polonious that night, and just kind of in his style just goes, All right, I know the words. Just have the other actors push me around. So I’m in the lights. and was better than the other guy. But we’ll leave that outta the story . Um, but I, I bring him up and I give that preamble to set up this nuance to it, which is that he talked about how going back to different roles over the years, there were certain characters that he hated before, but now he goes, I know where he is coming from.
And by revisiting the same principles, the same characters, the same stories at different points of his life, He goes, I always find something different. I’ve read these same words thousands of times now. Uh, and. This is one of those people that have been in productions where act one, he played that character Act two.
He suddenly was that character because just it’s in ’em now. But that element of, as I revisit it, it’s different to me every time, even though the principles don’t change. Yeah. In um, in yoga, we used to study these scriptures. Uh, there, it’s one of the most authoritative texts on yoga. They’re these, they’re literally suture.
There are a few words there, atheisms that are short words, but have. Robust information and and meaning to it. And, uh, You read them over and over and over again, not just one time through, but like through the years. And every time you read it, it’s like, wow. Now that means a whole thing differently than it used to mean to me.
I, I, I, I can understand it in a very different way, in a more refined way. So that’s what I think that this book is also, It’s, it’s, You read it, you learn things from it, you gain some insights and then you go back to it and, and there’s another insight to take from it. Awesome. So, uh, before we wrap up, where can people best track you down?
How can they get in contact, not only with you, but also where can they find the book? Well, my book will be published, eh, and about a month from now in the end of July, and it’s called The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way, and it’s self-published and. My website is karen duby.com and it will be there and it will probably be on Amazon and wherever else I can get it into
Yeah, which will make it easy to head over to the show notes for this week’s episode. It’s episode number 383. So if you head over to work smart hypnosis.com/ 3 83, that’s where you’ll find the links to Karen’s website. Some of the other references that we’ve made. Um, I’ll make sure they don’t put the entire collected works of Shakespeare in there.
Uh, and then also we’ll link to the book and any related resources as well. Uh, before we wrap up, any final thoughts for the listeners out there in terms of, not just from the book, but also from your own experiences? What we kind of need to know to ourselves to get out of our own way. I think there has to be a a, a trifecta, which is a mind, body, and spirit.
And if you want to tap into the art of getting out of your own way, there’s got to be some mindful shifts. There has to be some physical movement to be able to create that energetic shift within you. And the spiritual connection, like I said earlier, is really to tap into the opportunity of. More than what you are now to, you know, our future self is not something we know yet.
So we have to imagine who we wanna be, and that really sets the tone for, for, for something more divine than we are now. So that’s the spiritual component. So I think the art of getting out of your way is the trifecta of mind, body, and spirit.
Jason Leded here once again, and let’s change up the outro this time because normally. I do a series of thank yous and invites, but hey, right now go to work smart hypnosis.com/ 3 83 and that’s where you will find a direct link to pick up your copy of Karen’s new book, The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way.
Uh, buy it on Amazon. Leave a review. I’ve already seen it. It’s phenomenal. It’s why I’m one of the blurbs somewhere. I don’t know yet if I’m inside the book or the back of the book, but I wrote it and meant every word I said. It’s a great, great thing that she’s done of kind of bringing this world together and encapsulating the phenomenal work she does in one place.
So work smart hypnosis.com. 3 83 that’ll bring you directly over to the show notes and get access to where to find the book online. And again, check out work smart hypnosis live.com. Go there right away. Watch the video at the top so you can see how we’ve kind of revolutionized how. Hypnosis can be trained online in a highly interactive way in a training that has launched many professionals.
So check out the video at the top of work smart hypnosis live.com. Look at the dates if they’re a fit. You’ve got two options to join us on that page. If the dates are not a fit, pop an email to [email protected] and I’ll uh, strategize with you when the next one’s coming up, and we will see you inside of class.
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