Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.
This is the Work Smart Hypnosis podcast, session number 435. Doctor Nic Natale on your erotic profile. Welcome to the Worksmart Hypnosis podcast with Jason Linett, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Linett. Imagine this for a moment. Here’s a marriage and family therapist. Here’s somebody who is working in a traditional therapeutic setup and basically realizing that so often many of the issues in a relationship come back to the intimacy in that relationship. Well, that’s the story of Doctor Nic Natale, who’s the guest on the podcast this week as we dive into his really groundbreaking work, specifically not just on helping couples and individuals, but helping people to truly go inside and understand what their specific erotic profile is. Now, here’s something I’ll point out ahead of time in this conversation.
01:00
It’s that so often, anything involving sex or romance or anything of that nature, we’re so often kind of caught up in our own preconceived notions. And it’s really interesting to hear this dialogue of Doctor Natale’s approach in terms of how he truly begins to define exactly what that erotic profile is for that client and then how that informs the work.
01:24
I’ll tell you in advance, one of my favorite things about this conversation is this, almost aside that Nic gets into here, which is the fact that it would have been easy to kind of craft a system of work, let’s say, perhaps in the category of the love languages, where here’s the different designations and here’s the one that you are, or even similar to the work out of Carl Jung and the whole jungian approach of archetypes, which is a huge part of Doctor Natale’s background here. And it’d be so easy to go. This is the extrovert, that’s the end. This is the specific label. And what I really appreciate in this conversation is that intentional action to not go that direction and instead work with people as their own unique individuals.
02:13
So you can find the show notes of this week’s episode by heading over to worksmarthypnosis.com. And while you’re over there on the web, be sure to check out hypnoticworkers.com. This is the all access pass to my hypnosis training library. Not just inductions, not just techniques for change, but also methods that you will not find anywhere else. If I could really define the approach to hypnotism that I bring to it’s the fact that now, how can we help the client to really feel the change taking place. And on top of that, too, how could we also have the change already in motion? Even before the client officially closes their eyes? We can get a full tour of exactly what this self guided program is by heading over to hypnotic workers. And with that, let’s head directly in.
03:04
This is session number 435, doctor Nic Natale, on your erotic profile. So what was that first introduction into hypnosis for you?
03:16
You know, the hero story for me is not so much about myself, but, you know, as a therapist, and I’ve been a therapist now for 23, 24 years, I was in that place of trying to say, okay, there’s something stuck. There’s something stuck within me. There’s something stuck within my clients. And so I just began a broad search around, trying to find, let’s find something that is going to be like, no mind blowing, world bending inception types of considerations for care for my clients, and that was hypnosis for me. And when I found it, I hung on to it, and it’s been a remarkable ride ever since.
04:01
Well, I’d be curious to ask you say that something was stuck, if you could kind of define what that stuck nature was or what that seemed like.
04:09
You know, oftentimes in traditional psychotherapy, it is really based around, let’s process the thoughts, let’s process the feelings. I mean, the biggest technique is called, you know, cut into behavioral therapy, where you’re building the connections between your thoughts, your emotions, and your behaviors and you kind of working through all that. There’s a problem, though. Talking about the issue by itself doesn’t do enough. It just doesn’t. And after, you know, working through this and trying a variety of different techniques, starting off, you know, 20 years ago, just being singularly focused on CBT type of approaches for therapy, walking through a variety of other ones, I found some great ones, but none of them got to the heart of really what was going on.
05:09
And I had a local master hypnotist in my own city, doctor Frederick MAU, and he was like, hey, I offered this training. Anyone out there interested has come along, and he’s literally like a half mile from my office. And I was like, frederick, I am there. Take my money, walk me through this. And so right in the middle of COVID I jumped in one of his classes, and I never looked back. And so it’s been remarkable. It’s been remarkable. But there’s been nothing transformational in the lives of not only my clients, but myself than this inward hypnotic experience. Therapeutically, it’s a remarkable man.
05:57
Yeah, he is of course, you know that I’d give the quick reference that www.worksmarthypnosis.com/247 was the episode with Doctor Frederick Mao that happened, I believe, about three months after he and I met in person for the first time and got to hold koalas together, you know, like you do.
06:16
That’s amazing.
06:16
Like you do. And, yeah, I’d be curious just to go deeper into that, though, which is that, you know, there’s this dialogue one side on therapeutic world, and a number of different studies that would point to, you know, almost the game of which techniques are the most effective. And that’s kind of the side effect of the studies that eventually said, well, it’s really dependent upon the quality of the rapporte, the customization of the methods, though, Nic, if you really had to dive into it, what are the methods? Let’s say, in traditional therapeutic approaches, that really at least get a whole lot closer to kind of diving into what’s behind the scenes, not just of the thoughts and feelings, but kind of that driving force, that connection inside of it.
07:06
I work with supervisees, so I’m licensed as a supervisor, so I help individuals complete the clinical hours, supervising their hours as they go for their state license in South Carolina, that’s where I’m based in Columbia, South Carolina. And so I am working with two to four people per week. And so one of the things that really informs all the work I do, including the supervision, is everything I do is informed by leading research. The research is really quite clear on this. And since they have been following this since 1960s, the number one agent when it comes to how a person is really going to change is not so much about what method you use. It’s not so much about these circumstances changing in the client’s life. It’s not even about how many times they attend session.
08:11
The one determining factor is what we call therapeutic rapport. It’s relationship.
08:18
Yeah.
08:19
And to me, not only has that been demonstrated enough, but hypnosis is a means by which I can actually build that rapport in a powerful way that I don’t think I have when I just sit here and say, hey, why don’t you come on, sit on my couch? Literally, I have a couch. Come sit in my couch, and let’s talk about your feelings, your thoughts, for an hour. Hypnosis actually gives me a lot more ability to share rapport with a person, and it’s one of those things that. That I don’t think people really consider about how powerful the relationship is. So that’s a big focus of my work, because that’s just where the research points.
09:03
Right. And then what is it that you’d say? Let’s say, here’s that person who’s coming in to work with you, whether it’s in person, whether it’s perhaps another format, perhaps online, what is it that you’re doing in your mind that is then, let’s say, helping to expedite that therapeutic relationship, helping to expedite that rapporte.
09:24
It’s all the things that you would expect at the foundational level. It is giving them time, giving them space, learning how to listen, and not add your own assumptions about even what they’re going to say. And, of course, there’s so many other nuanced things. But this being a fantastic listener, where I’m gonna give you space to be who you are, and I will give you space to tell your story, because a lot of things that I do is narrative therapy based. That’s a branch of therapy that where you are building into the story of that individual, you helping them see how that story is continued to be developed, and then you utilize that story as part of therapy. You know, who do they want to become that type of thing? Now, think about the powerful, compelling blend of hypnosis and then narrative work.
10:23
So, most of the types of hypnosis that I’m doing is going to be taking them on a journey, and that’s exactly what we’re doing, from induction to actually deepening to the encounter, to what they’re wanting to experience, how all that feel is basically a narrative. And so, to me, that is foundational. So I’m really helping them establish that rapport by, number one, just allowing them to be them in the room. Listen, listen. And then I’m going to be weaving them into a story that they are unfolding for themselves and where they want to go. And I’m doing that in a hypnotic sense. So that’s where I kind of focus. It’s not just, hey, let me put you under and give you these. I’m doing air quotes right now. I know you can’t see it.
11:19
This magic world is wonderfully loud and clear on a podcast. So air quotes they are, right? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
11:27
But it’s not like, here’s the magic words are going to change everything in your life. That’s not it. It’s really about, can we narrate a story together? And we can do that hypnotically.
11:39
Well, here’s what I love about that. It’s that so often, and it kind of goes to the question that I was intentionally setting you up for, and then you brought it the direction I knew you would. Thank you. Which is that so often it becomes, oh, here’s my favorite technique. Here’s the approach that I do, or. And this is a next statement that’s not meant to put down any one specific category. But I’ve heard people say, oh, I’m a regression based hypnotist. I was like, well, let’s maybe not define based on a specific method, because if the method is the right fit at the right time for that specific person, then game on. Go there versus game on. They.
12:19
They sometimes show up and they don’t realize it, but our clients are talking in code, and they say something, and suddenly it’s like, well, there’s the process right there. There’s the methods. That’s. That’s all I need. Let’s go in that direction.
12:32
Absolutely. And we want to be able to make sure we allow them to be able to direct that and not what I call imposing myself, imposing my techniques, imposing what I even think ought to be taking place. I don’t want to impose. So I want to be able to hear the story, and I want to be able to incorporate that story, and I want them. Give them another story that I believe that they are already in the midst of. So union. I was trained in union analytics a long time ago, and so a big part of that is being able to help them kind of see their own major figures, those archetypes that are at play, the synchronicities are taking place around. And so we be. We’re able to tap into that unconscious.
13:26
And I just love being able to do that through hypnosis, reinforcing some things that are archetypal.
13:32
Yeah. And for those that might not be familiar with that line of work, it’s one of my favorites. So, looking at that jungian archetype based process, give us, like, the 1 minute, two minute sort of crash course and what that entails.
13:47
Yeah. We have certain. Well, amongst our existence as mankind, we have certain archetypes that are out there. You mentioned you started off this way. You said the hero story. I mean, that is an archetype. The hero, the sage, the mother, the wise one. All these individuals we’re interacting with, even when we don’t really recognize that, but there’s power when we begin to recognize that. And so one of the things that is typically a part of, not exclusively, but oftentimes, if it makes sense, I’ll weave it in the hypnotic experience. We will have an encounter with the tree of life, the wisdom, the sophia, if you will. That is within. That’s a genuine archetype that most people can relate to. In one of those words, I just use tree of life, Sophia, wisdom. And that is what some people.
14:55
And I was really trained in calling the ideal self, the higher self. But that’s an archetype, for example, that oftentimes I will ensure that our person that I’m working with, the person I’m working with, has an encounter with in one form or another. Does that make sense?
15:13
That does. And it’s how we step into these different roles. I mean, I’m gonna go my natural direction here, which is bringing it back to theater. But, you know, Shakespeare, all the world’s a stage and different roles, different characters that we’re stepping into. And somehow it was earlier. Earlier this morning, I was chatting with somebody, and somehow the conversation went from Shel Silverstein giving tree, which is the same story arc of Les Mis. Let me put everybody else first to the extreme detriment of myself, which is one of the many stories in Les Mis, but then also how it somehow wrapped up with how Stella got her groove back. As we’re sticking with the shakespearean theme here, of course I’m gonna make the best transition I think we’ve ever done in 400 plus episodes on this show.
16:05
Hey, Nic, before we start talking about sex, it would be that. Here’s. Here’s how. Let’s look at it from this angle. And this is not meant to point a finger in any negative way yet. A lot of, let’s say, more. So startup practitioners in the hypnosis space would have a bit of a cynical perspective on therapy world. I think you were at an event one time where I was not necessarily correcting or scolding, but it was somebody who was in their marketing trying to use the phrase without therapy or medication. And I had to go, well, hang on. Let’s look at medication first. There are certain medications which are actually certain. There are the majority of medications which are widely proven to be effective, and now you’re throwing out an entire category.
16:59
And also, let’s not throw out the entire category of therapy, because instead, don’t throw rocks at something which actually may have been incredibly beneficial to your potential clients. So the spin on that statement that we worked out for this person specifically was without telling the same story over and over in therapy and expecting it suddenly to change everything, and without the dangerous risks of unnecessary side effects, to which I’d go, I’d rather you still just talk about what’s great about you and amplify that so we don’t have to do that. Throwing of rocks. What is it that you’d say as just a blanket statement to, let’s say, more of the startup side of this industry that is holding on to some extremely negative, judgmental, and, dare I say, just directly, completely misguided misperceptions?
17:54
I think there are some misperceptions about therapy. Again, the potency of therapy is about therapeutic rapport, the relationship between the client and therapist. And so I am the first one to say that majority of issues that a person has in their life can really be greatly helped by having a good person in their life who gives them space to be able to talk and to listen, to give them space to be themselves. So I don’t think that every little thing that happens in a person’s life, they need to go to therapy. I think therapy has a place. And again, just like we see people will use the term. For example, I love this when it happens. I feel depressed today. With feeling depressed in the moment because you had a bad morning, the coffee maker wouldn’t work for you.
18:54
Is different than chronic dysthymic depression.
18:58
Yes.
18:58
One needs a therapist, the other one needs a new coffee maker. I love it when just taking a.
19:04
Note here, doctor is saying that I need a better coffee maker. Got it set to the Amazon list. And you were saying?
19:12
Yes, absolutely, yes. If you cannot get a coffee maker that makes a great espresso in Cappuccino, you do not have a coffee maker yet. And so you need to get another one. For sure, it will eliminate a lot of bad mornings, 100%. But also, you know, I’m around a lot of people and I will hear, for example, hey, my partner, they are, or my in law, or, you know, they’re such a narcissist. Well, a narcissist in my book is a little bit different. I have actual clinical criteria, as I have to follow on that type. A narcissist needs therapy if they are going to overcome that limitation and struggle in their life. Now, I know what a lot of people are doing, but there are these classifications. That’s my point.
20:06
There are these classifications and severity of certain situations that actually require the consistent use therapy in all of what is encapsulated in therapy. Consistently providing collaborative care with a variety of professionals, the psychiatrist, the Emma or Lana work, the pelvic floor pt that’s going to go on sometimes with my work, he needed credentials to be able to provide that. But I’m also the first to say, jason, that you don’t need a therapist for everything. Matter of fact, I think a lot of people go to therapy when they actually would just benefit from a good, consistent conversation with a wonderful friend.
21:03
Yeah. And I look at a specific example. That friend of mine from college that was going through some major surgeries one year, which were very much going to impact the work that he did. And it was this beautiful moment that set a great foundation in our circle of friends, which was that he had said to his wife, hey, let’s start going to marriage counseling. And that suddenly put her on the alert to go, oh, is everything okay? He goes, yeah, it is. That’s why we should go.
21:33
Because for the next nine months, as I go through these multiple spinal reconstructive surgeries, and I cannot do the work physically that I just love, I’m not going to be myself, and let’s have a place that we go every week and we deal with whatever’s going on, even if it’s just simply going and saying, hey, we’re handling this a lot better than we thought.
21:54
And that’s wonderful.
21:56
That was this beautiful moment of, like, I’ve told the story on here before, which was that 2018, 2019. Just here were a whole bunch of family health events that were going on external to me, but just, I went, I kind of need to go and just talk about this. And somewhere that there was the circle of friends, and it was that, well, that’s the group that would start to provide advice and give logic to it. I go, let me just go and guide it and explore this and address that. Which now, of course, brings us to one of the big topics here at hand. Let’s go into this first here. What was in your journey? Did the focus originally become that of working with issues around sex, or is that something that developed over time?
22:49
That’s something to redevelop over time? I was trained in the nineties in marriage and family therapy, family systems therapy. Things of that nature was really the, you know, the work that I was doing. And one, of course, a big piece of doing any type of partner work, marital work, is going to be the role of intimacy. And what I found over the years is two things. Number one, a lot of people are really uncomfortable talking about sex and intimidating sexual health. And number two, that was a major issue in every single couple who came to see me for therapy. So we. We had this uncomfortableness about it, and then, you know, but every. Every single couple seen who are coming to therapy that is dealing with this in one form or another.
23:45
And so I just kind of slowly, over time, of course, I did a lot of other different things. I was in the ministry in a protestant denomination for a number of years, providing ministerial work as well as therapy on the side. Again, this marriage and family therapy. But again, in 2013, I just made this choice of saying, you know, this is really what I feel drawn and called to in this season of my life. So I just began to make this switch into first working primarily in the landscape of therapy work, and then specializing that into sexual health, sexual issues, relationships, non traditional relationship structures, things of that nature. And that became my niche more and more over time.
24:53
And then from that, by focusing then on, let’s say, more. So the intimacy part as opposed to the standard entry point in terms of the relationships, what would you say was the transformation? What was the change in the approach that you saw occur from that?
25:10
It really helped me begin to focus my work. And so in the sessions now providing an overall better quality of work, a scope of work, this is my niche, this is what I do, and I make that clear. And then all of a sudden, people began to just flock for therapy. Now I’m seeking certification. Just as a side note, I do not need to be certified as a set therapist in South Carolina like you do in some states. You know, some states like Florida, I think the state that you’re in, Jason, it requires a special certification in order to practice as a sets therapist in that particular state. Every state is different. But I did pursue that certification process, and I was certified through ACET, the American association of Cets Educators, counselors and therapists.
26:09
It’s one of the hardest certification processes, is basically going back to school. And once I pursued that and accomplished that, it was a two and a half year process. It really just, again, just brewed the doors open. And now my referral sources were coming from gynecologists, urologists, family practitioners, fertility specialists, pastors, other therapists, because, again, this is a major issue and no one is talking about it. In my area, at least, I think there’s about four of us in the state of South Carolina who hold this particular certification. There’s not a lot of us. Then when you couple that with the work of hypnosis, bam, it just blew up.
27:01
Yeah, it just blew up because there’s no better space that I can imagine doing hypnotic work than in this particular space, because so much that takes place within the rajal process is really outside of our awareness. And so it has a lot to do with the unconscious itself and how we respond, which is easily and more beyond just good education about sets and sexual health and sexual arousal, but allowing the hypnosis to actually do its unconscious work as well. It’s been remarkable.
27:37
Yeah, let’s go into that, because, like, I would put categories such as things around sex, things around sleep, things around the categories that would deal with IB’s irritable bowel situations as, quote, non issues. And it’s not to say that they’re not important or they don’t exist. It’s that in many cases, it’s everything that’s around it. So we don’t decide the moment we fall asleep, we don’t consciously decide the moment we wake up, we don’t decide as we eat something, here’s how well my body’s going to digest it. The same as we don’t decide the exact moment of arousal, the exact moment of orgasm. And it’s dealing with that instead, that unconscious processing.
28:26
So from that, I mean, first of all, what is it that you would say is missing from, let’s say, the conventional approach to dealing with things around sex and relations and intimacy?
28:40
Yeah, I think that a lot of it is. There’s a dependency on education. You know, if a person is well educated about what ought to be going on, that’s going to. And it’s a false idea, but it’s going to make the difference. Oftentimes a person will know cognitively what ought to be taking place, what could be taking place, what is taking place, but they feel as though they have no other control. And so one thing I communicate to a lot of individuals is that this arousal is a conditioned response. And so oftentimes it is conditioned by a number of different factors, like the messages you receive. But going back to narratives, the message, the narratives that you’re talking about internally, and you don’t even realize that is your impression, that is what’s going on.
29:45
And you don’t realize that there’s this message that’s actually adding to your conditioned response, and that’s not a very good response. And one of the things that I discovered is hypnosis is actually a shortcut around that cognitive peace. Again, education by itself, or even just sitting around talking about therapies, how you feel about the way you responded the other night during the sexual encounter, does nothing for change. We can talk about it and we need to talk about it, but it does nothing to change by itself, if that makes sense. And so once however, we can actually start addressing that conditioned response. Now we’re on fire. Now things are changing. Now the touch is different. Now something’s happened within my body that cause you can place post hypnotic suggestions about those responses. And it’s quite remarkable.
30:51
When you say post hypnotic suggestions, what do you mean by that?
30:55
Well, oftentimes, for example, I have this story and I usually share it, and I actually learned it from an audio book on ericssonian work. I cannot remember which one it was, but there was this phrase in it. And apparently this is something that Ericsson used, a phrase in a post hypnotic as a trigger that. See, how did it go? You will begin to notice every blade of grass is a different shade of green. And when you begin to notice that every shade of grass or every blade of grass is a different shade of green, then a response will happen. And he was actually working on a sexual issue itself. In his case study I was listening to this is again, an audiobook from one of his written works. And that phrase is something I use.
31:55
I picked up and began to using, and I was working with this woman and arousal, libido, just this, what we call a spontaneous arousal. This spontaneous arousal we usually refer to as libido, just was not taking place. It really was diminished. And we did this hypnotic experience, and we placed this post hibnate suggestion that when she begins to notice that each blade of grass is a different shade of green, that she would begin to feel a bit aroused. And typically what I do is I let the individual record the hypnotic session on their phone. I hold a recording of it as well. And so she’s taken that with her. I and all my clients do, and they can use it, you know, as they like. And she came back the next session, she says, doc, I can’t be under that suggestion.
33:03
When I go to my son’s soccer games, she says, I got a sensation I didn’t know what to do with. I was like, was it a pleasing sensation? She says, yes. What’d you do with it? Well, it was a good result. There’s this lever right there. Yeah. So we’re just celebrating. We’re just clapping. We’re just celebrating high fiving around it. But, you know, these things become powerful. But there was something within her story in the past that gave her the impression that she should not allow herself to go down there and feel that libido in this simple. And I think we’re in. I usually do a one session hypnotic.
33:58
My first hypnotic session is allowing them to feel why it is to be in that, though, we recognize that hypnosis is not a feeling, but just let them experience what the hypnotic is, experience is like. And then we go into suggestions in the second and third sessions. And so this was our, her worry, her second session. So the first time she’s receiving something posthypnotically and she respond to it. And most people are going to respond in that type of situation. And so I use different types of wordings and things like that, help them realize that the tell the truth, Jason, you know, this. They’re carrying this solution within them. And that’s one of the most beautiful things about this. It’s nothing I did. That was all within her mind. And I just love doing that.
34:49
I love the ultimate proof of it working too well.
34:56
Though.
34:57
Also illustrating sometimes the value of in the situations in which you would find this the most beneficial.
35:04
Yeah, yeah.
35:05
But then again, I look at the classic, oh, whenever you’re around the color red, it reinforces everything we’ve done here today and just that ability to carry the process far beyond the actual session itself and training. Sometimes this actually popped up. And the current work, smart hypnosis live that we’re running right now, which was that, well, when do you do post hypnotic change work inside of the actual session? And my answer was the entire time. The entire time, yeah, because they’re not. Let’s use a different category. They’re not going to hypnosis to not smoke just during the time of your session. Every suggestion for change is a suggestion that’s going to be a post hypnotic outcome.
35:48
So let’s just get clear, crafted pre talk is going to begin to allow that suggestion to be there. You know, we’re already beginning there. It always helps that I have green plants in my office. Right? Of course you would.
36:07
I think we just found the title of the episode. No, actually related to that. There’s a really cool thing, which this is session number 435 of the podcast. And if you go to worksmarthypnosis.com/435, that’ll just redirect over to the page with all the links, all the show notes, and the different references we’re making throughout this session. And it’s where I. On the homepage of your website, you have an invite to discover your erotic profile, and it’s a free course. Now, when you say erotic profile, can you kind of walk us through what that definition is to you?
36:49
The erotic profile is your sensual, erotic arousal experience that you have. Again, some of this has been conditioned, but what the erotic profile is that allows a person to go through and really experience and think about what has contributed to your arousal over time, your eroticism. So we look at scripts again, those are those messages that we tell them ourselves. We’ll look at the barriers that may be in place. Place. And we look at, you know, what are the sexual exercises and interests that you have that you own yourself? And then we began to actually take that in and invite the person to write out their ideal sexual fantasy or sexual encounter, sexual scenario.
37:47
And then we give them an opportunity to kind of pull all these different pieces, the narratives, the barriers and places, all into a seamless statement, if you will, a profile for who you are. Now, the reason why I do this is because, again, I work with a lot of people in therapy world who really do not go this deep into their eroticism, but this allows a person to do it in your results. You can literally take the results to anyone who is trained in this work. And they’re going to be able to actually have a lot of pieces that they need to work on with their client, the one who’s bringing this erotic profile results into. And so this is actually a very key and powerful tool.
38:47
Every single person that I see, either in personal consultation or clinical work, they go through this process with me and they journal it all out. They encapsulate it all into a conceptualization which amounts to their profile. And if they’re working with me or they’re working with, you know, therapist down the street or the, you know, intimacy coach in Chicago, they have. They’re now taking something. It’s really just my gift to people. I really love this. This tool. This is my tool. The course goes through different lessons that I give them on each one of these sessions about the messages, about the barriers. And it’s empowering, inspirational time. And so, Jason, they’re able to take that and they’re going to feel a lot better about themselves with this is. There’s some answers here already for you in this experience.
39:54
So it’s actually very empowering on this.
39:56
It’s that it’s bringing it to a narrative that’s not just. Well, let’s look at this from an extremely basic form of hypnosis for a moment, which is that, hey, I have this problem. Let me now throw direct suggestions at it as opposed to now getting a baseline in terms of what that. Well, to use your words, what that erotic profile is of. Here’s what almost in the same category, let’s go back to. I’m sure this directly correlates a very jungian approach that. Here’s the archetypes within that. Is this something that. Not to make a comparison, but more of a correlation here, ends up in different categories. Let’s say, similar to love languages. Are there specific erotic profiles? Or is it something that becomes unique to that one individual?
40:48
Yeah, it really becomes unique to that one individual. And I’ve actually resisted trying to put this into categories. You are this person. You’re the romantic lover. You know, you’re. You’re the kinesthetic lover. You know, you’re the adventurous lover. I tried to actually intentionally avoid that. Who, again, therapeutically, what I don’t wanna do is impose these categories. I don’t even like imposing diagnoses. And so much less I don’t want to impose. Hey, you’re this type of lover. You’re.
41:17
What’s the thought behind that? Is it that it’s. And again, I look at how. Let’s go many steps forward. In how parts of Jung’s work eventually became what’s now the Myers Briggs. And it was that it creates this idea of, you are this one specific thing. When instead everything really is state and strategy dependent. You might be this classification in that scenario. You might be that classification in this other scenario.
41:45
Correct. We do talk about different types of lover archetypes in my work. And again, I invoke those within the hypnotic experiences oftentimes. But you’re right, it is state dependent. And so even if you think about introversion and extroversion. Just on a simplistic level, you know, I am an introvert, but I am a professionally extrovert. That’s just kind of how I will be who I am based on how I’m feeling in that moment. And so I think that’s one of the reasons why I try to actually provide the erotic profile. As you are encapsulating, based on all these different factors. Who are you? You write it out and allow that. And this is kind of built into that final lesson. You continue that work of who you are. Because some of us are sensual lovers when that makes sense to be.
42:48
But some of us are very kinesthetic lovers when we’re stressed out. And we’re just seeking release with our partner, you know? And so it’s going to look different for different people. And that’s a whole other course on developing. On what I call sexual channels. You know, you know, how to be able to activate different types of love. And make sure that each of you are on the same page for this particular sexual encounter. But that’s another conversation for another time.
43:18
And look at that. Expertly inviting yourself on the podcast for a future appearance. And I. Yeah, absolutely. Let’s do it. Well, here’s. Yeah, go for it.
43:30
So I oftentimes will kind of butt back. I know it’s simplistic, and it’s kind of easy to do. You’re this type of person. I actually want to avoid that because guess what? Even a person’s general cycle in the female body, as well as testosterone levels in a male body, is going to be really different at different times of their own internal cycle. And that’s actually going to dictate some about how they could present themselves to say, hey, you’re a sensual lover. This is what you always need to do. Never made sense to me. Just like, I would use and say, okay, yeah, I’m an introvert, or, I’m fine with being an extrovert. I’m not always going to be there. I’m just not. But anyway, that’s just my judgment.
44:21
Yeah. And then having that as the basis, like, if you could kind of define what direction the work now typically goes for you and what that approach is. Is there a story that kind of comes to mind that really just encapsulates the work that you do, how you do it, and why you do it?
44:38
Yeah. I had a wonderful opportunity to work with a local physician, and she was in the process of this realizing that she has focused on building her practice. A number of different children she brought into the world, they’re all now independent. Her husband is doing kind of his own thing, and she has neglected the sensual side of her life for over a decade, as she has done all these things. Be a mom, get the kids to where they need to go, all of them in at least middle school. Now the practice is thriving. They got multiple physicians working for her, and she came in, the first thing she said to me is, I want my sensuality back. And so I began to just work with her about addressing again through the erotic profile first kind of identifying what was in the way.
45:42
And there were some guilt and shame. There were some messages from the past. There were some perfectionism that kind of got in the way. So even how that presented within the bedroom is that she would actually get preoccupied about how she would look in the mirror, and she would actually shut herself down, as opposed to allowing herself to build up toward the ecstasy that could be experienced in that moment. And so we just began to work on some of these pieces, and the erotic profile began to illuminate some of those points. And then that gave me the ability to craft certain hypnotic experiences that addressed each one of these things.
46:26
So I mapped out for her, like a seven session type of experience over the period of time, interlaced with, let’s do some other exercises outside of here to help you kind of get in touch with it. And so all my hypnotic experiences are connected with really just good exercises that they can do either alone or with their partner that reinforces what they just hypnotically experienced.
46:55
And when you say exercises, what’s an example of that?
46:58
An exercise may be, you know, we’re going to do a learn our body. There’s an exercise we call just learning our bodies again, where there’s a giver and a receiver of sensual touch, and the person who’s receiving a touch is communicating to the giver. That feels good. I like it when you do this direction. Another one is what was called the long kiss. This is where the couple were laid together, where there’s no expectation of sets, but they would actually kiss for the length of a song. So they would just put out a song three and a half minutes long. And they work through their encountered resistances to be able to finally surrender to the ositosin that’s being released in that kiss. So some of the resistances is going to be. This is funny, this was awkward, this is not going to work.
48:03
Some of those resistances is kind of giggling over it, but then begin to allow the mind not to press toward what’s next, but to be in this space, to love this space and surrender into this space. Jason.
48:21
Yeah.
48:22
And when they began to do that, now that just reinforced what they experienced hypnotically. So we will intersperse a variety of exercises that, you know, fits what that experience was. And this is where I think my work is just really ridiculous. It’s not just here. Here you go do this, and then I’ll see you next week or the next time. Next zoom. No. Here’s what I want you to now do. All this is built upon the importance of this erotic profile. Right?
48:55
Well, it goes back to the thing were talking earlier, which is that these are automatic responses, these are natural responses. And rather than, again, not to put down a category and go, oh, direct suggestion is incomplete. Well, in this case it is, which is that rather than just saying you will feel this confidence, it’s instead, here are these exercises that you’re creating based on this profile that are helping to amplify those responses. And it’s a line that I heard Ron Esslinger say many years ago of helping the body to remember what normal feels like.
49:32
Yes. As Kaz Rowley says in her trainings, and I have heard this expressed in several different ways, I love her wording, so I use her wording. Where the mind goes, the body will follow.
49:48
Yeah.
49:49
And so that’s really what we’re trying to do. It was remarkable when she came back and said, this has been the best experiences of my entire life, of just being able to recapture me again myself, my sensuality, for me to be able to be calm again in my body, to me, to allow the touch that’s going to unfold, just to allow the touch to unfold, to quit going into the sexual encounters with my husband as if this is something to accomplish, just allow it to be. And to her, that was a solid win. And her overall experiences began to increase.
50:44
Beautiful. Beautiful. Where can people find out more about the work that you’re doing online?
50:51
You can find me on Instagram natale. My website, though, provides some information, and it’s really an opportunity for us to be able to engage in a bold conversation together. That is nicnatale.com awesome.
51:12
And we’ll link to those, of course, over in the show notes at www.worksmarthypnosis.com/435. And again, dive in. Check out that discover your erotic profile free course that’s on that page. Really, really fascinating work. I want to thank you so much for diving into this conversation. And one of the things that stands out to me is that ability that this kind of approach really transcends to so many other types of issues. I think of this one professional piano player that I worked with that she just had to say the phrase, you know what, there used to be just such a passion when I played, and then all of that has now gone away. And it really became a process very similar to what you’ve been to sharing here about reconnecting the thoughts, reconnecting the kinesthetics, reconnecting those experiences.
52:10
So I often see that there’s people who dismiss this entire category out of an expectation of what it might be as opposed to recognizing that, well, so often, even with public speaking, any sort of other performance related type issue, it’s about reactivating what it is within that person and why they’re in that situation and, you know, helping to reconnect the stories and rewrite the stories and even create the new ones that are going to bring them there. Any, any final thoughts to share with the listeners out there?
52:46
Thank you for the opportunity. I generally believe that everyone deserves a happy healthy and exciting sex life, and that is achievable. And I have worked with people across the age spectrum. I worked with people across the, well, all kinds of different spectrums. And I really do believe that this is one of the most neglected part of our mental health is what takes place in those private moments that’s oftentimes filled with shame and there’s no need for it. And so we can find our sensuality again.
53:35
Hey, it’s Jason Linett once again. And really, this time we took a large intentional pause as life happened for a span of time. And now we’re back in. We’ve got a great episode coming your way with doctor Marina Costina coming up next week, all about ravenous living. So be sure you’re subscribed. Be sure to check that one out. Here is the number one thing you can do right now. Head over to worksmarthypnosis.com iTunes, and whether or not you’re an Apple user, still go to that page, worksmarthypnosis.com iTunes, and leave a review. Pick a specific episode that you’ve heard about, share your thoughts. This is the best way to not only help bring this program to a new audience, but also let me call it out, reinvigorate the audience that was already listening previously. So check that out over at www.worksmarthypnosis.com itunes talk soon.
54:30
Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast at www.worksmarthypnosis.com.
