Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.
Though it’s still developing and I think that opportunity is definitely still there and there, but I think we had an opportunity to get in there really big. Mm-hmm. earlier on. So more so that we’re, we’re catching up with this theme as opposed to pioneering this theme. Yeah. Well a lot of people now, what they’re doing actually is just taking their old interpersonal skills courses.
Um, Jason Lynette. All right. Welcome back. It’s Jason Lynette here with another fantastic session for you. This one’s featuring Barrel Commar and the reason I reached out to Barrel. She’s someone who I’ve known for quite some time now, uh, at various conventions, which is a side note. That’s the cool thing about going to all these various conventions, you know, going to, whether it’s hypno thoughts live, whether it’s the National Guild of Hypnotist Convention.
Other events as well. I’ve been to MidAmerica Hypnosis Conference. Uh, I’ve yet to go to the I M DHA convention just because of, uh, timing in my schedules, though definitely hope to attend one day. The cool thing about going to these events is that it becomes a bit of a sampler. It becomes the opportunity to interact with people that you normally would not interact with.
Yes, chances are all of us. Best friends on Facebook already. As I like to say though, the opportunity to actually get that FaceTime to actually meet with people. And in many ways that’s how most of the connections, most of these podcast sessions that you’ve been listening to, that’s how these bridges are formed.
Of just going up to people and interacting. You know, I’d share the story that dates back to session number three that featured Michael Elner. I was a regular over on Hypno Thoughts Live, and I was seeing Michael Post, and it’s an example where, I was thinking, I’ve gotta meet this guy. And then sure enough, he pops up on hypno thoughts that his hotel room, we got canceled.
And ever since then, he and I have roomed together at Hypno Thoughts Live. So I, I tell you that story because not to say that you can eventually end up becoming roommates with your heroes and hypnosis. No, that’s a rare one. But really it’s that statement that some of the most successful people in this profession, Are really an open book.
You can interact with them, you can meet with them, and I would share that the, uh, knocking on wood here, I’ve yet to have someone turn me down in terms of doing this program, because it’s the opportunity to interact with a brand new audience. It’s the opportunity to share your message, share your voice, and really begin to identify with other hypnotists.
You know, it’s that statement that, So often the, the biggest issue that I see hypnotist run into is that they learn all this great information and they don’t yet know where to jump in and going to these conventions, interacting with training materials. This is where that information very often comes from.
It’s the, it’s the training voice that I share inside of my live courses inside of hypnotic workers, and it’s why I’m also such a. Proponent of things like virtual gastric band. We just, we just this week did an encore webinar presentation of my create awesome weight loss success program, which is all about sharing specific weight loss strategies to help with your clients.
And, uh, I’d encourage you, the great thing about things like virtual gastric band, whether you end up doing that specific system or not, is it gives you a. It gives you something to base your work off of. And if you’re not familiar with that, head over to learn virtual gastric band.com to learn all about that specific program.
Originally pioneered by Sheila Grainger, Taught as well by me, and it’s an online digital access training. And since I’m referencing, and here in the intro type in, we’ll make this work, Type in the words work smart, all one word. All caps as you’re interested in that program, that’s gonna knock off 10%, well over 75 bucks.
So head over there to, uh, learn virtual gastric band.com. Type in for the promo code. Work smart. All one word, all caps. That’s gonna knock off 10%. It’s gonna give you a proven model to start seeing clients with right away. And the thing that’s unique about my training of that is I also show you how to modify the system to make it work with your stop smoking clients, with your Fear Release clients.
Everything is contextual in nature. It’s not just about the individual content. So the biggest flaw in hypnosis, in my opinion, is labeling things as that’s a pain relief strategy. That’s a weight loss technique. That’s a stop smoking strategy. No people. Everything is about change, which brings us full circle to this session here with Bar Commar and specifically why I reached out to Bar is she’s somebody who has taken so much of hypnosis, so much of N LP and is now introducing it to a brand new audience.
The rebranding, using very, very modern terms of emotional intelligence. In this conversation, you’re gonna hear Barrel talk about how she’s taken hypnosis, nlp, eft, all these fantastic modalities and brought it to a much bigger, if not corporate audience, through the rebranding of emotional intelligence as well as intrapersonal intelligence, as well as interpersonal intelligence.
And if you don’t know the difference, you gotta listen to this. She’s got an outstanding pre convention offering that’s gonna be happening at the NGH Convention this year, in August, 2016. For the details on that, head over to the show [email protected]. You’ll also be able to learn about her book all about hypno, dontics.
Taking hypnosis into dentistry practices and offering our services to dentist all over the world. So let’s jump right in. This is session number 64 Barrel commar on emotional intelligence.
So, uh, just kind of start us off, what was it originally that drew you to hypnosis or got you involved in hypnosis? Well, it was when I was in teacher training back in the 19, late 1960s, I was always interested in those days. There was this idea that the last thing you heard at night was on your brain all day and you’d be able to learn it and know it for the exams and things like that.
So I was very interested in that sort of idea. Um, for memory, really brain power that way. We had a stage hypnotist. Came to do a, a demonstration, but it wasn’t like I think of stage shows now. He was really showing the power of the brain and doing some suggestibility tests and how we can remember things.
And it, it was, it was pretty good. And that’s 1969, so I thought that was pretty cool. But no, it wasn’t the internet to search those things in those days to find out where you could learn. So I went to Africa. It was been my, my big dream to teach in Africa. I went. Theso voluntary service overseas, which is like your Peace Corps.
And I was in an area Aha and goro, where the Maasai tri bar and they used to put themselves into trans and they could just, they sort of did this little jump , I wish I was on, you could see me where they go. Um, um, and they sort of jump and this, and then they just go into, Rhythm. A hum hum, a hum, a hum. Two three of them together.
And they’d just like floated across the Savannah and there’d be lions and giraffes and things there. And we are in the safety of our car, you know, And the, and the kids would do it. They would come 10 kilometers to school, some of them with no shoes on their feet. , and again, I, I’m like, Oh, this is the mine that does this.
It has to be . And they, they used to do this circle dance where they go into, into trans jumping up and down higher and higher, and then they’re go into trans and into fits and froing at the mouth. So I used to love watching that. And then they, they talked about how it was a healing process and. All this, but there’s nothing to read on this sort of thing.
I mean Africa. So all I can do is watch and listen. And then some American teachers came through for couple of months and did transcendental meditation. So I said, Okay, I’d love to lie. I’d like to teach to learn that. And. That was my first experience of meditation and it really helped it me in so many ways to be a much calmer, to think about things more clearly.
So I was doing, I’ve been doing transcendental meditation for over 40 years now. Went off to to Dubai after four years in Tanzania and there was a stage hyp. Who used to come and do the stage shows, which I hooked up all was headmasters of a school. I had this double life, whereas I was the cool head mis during the day and the stage hypnotist mall at night
That’s me. Very diverse . Yeah. If there was no other subjects around that you could work on, I’d be the one with my feet on one chair, my neck and on on the chair. Nothing underneath me. Two people sitting on top of me. And I mean, things you wouldn’t allow on stage now for No. And safety concerns, but you know.
Eating lemons and flamenco dancing and the whole thing. I stayed with him far too long, but it was only because I was learning hypnosis. , . It’s one of those thoughts of, yeah, I’ll put up with this while I’m . While he wasn’t there permanently, he out, you know, But, so I didn’t have to stick with him for too long.
I’ll give you his name, . He’s probably long dead now, so I got into the hypnosis side and did a little sort of playing around. Quit smoking and stuff. Like I was just playing. I’d never been on course. I learned from the stage images, did some glove anesthesia, and then I did, I needed a year off. It was, I, I wanted to decide did I want to go back to Europe or stay overseas, So I did a master’s in Applied Linguistics at Redding University, and during that, the research there, i I, I came upon nlp.
And I started study nlp. They wouldn’t let me do, uh, my dissertation on nlp. They said it’s, This is 1984. There’s only one book on NLP from frogs to princes. Yeah. More people say to me, You can’t do that. , Well that’s like red rag tool ball. I have to know more . Why can’t I do that? and I was hooked then and uh, started the whole research into nlp hypnosis more, getting, finding out everything I could.
I went on NLP courses, neuros semantic courses. Putting hypnosis in their weekends, seeing people. I was now working at the university as the head of the communications department and teacher training department at the university, but getting a name for working with people at weekends. I was the only one in the old Middle East, and then the internet sort of came along in the 1990s.
Um, no, I think it was even before the internet. Yeah, because I was corresponding by letter and things with Jerry. I found Jerry thanks to Will Horton and went on Jerry’s courses way back in the 1990s, and that was it. Then I threw in my job at the university and I remember my mom saying, Oh, you know, what are you doing that for?
It’s a safe job and you. Anybody can be a hypnotist. I said, Yeah, they can mom, but anybody can be a nine to five at the university and all that stress. Just tell people I’m the best hypnotist in the Middle East, cuz I already am. I’m the only one
So that was it really. Um, never stopped learning since. Excellent. Excellent. So then along that journey, uh, I’m curious, I’ve taken a couple of notes here, just the things to jump around on. Uh, first of all, uh, where am I, Where am I calling you at today? Oh, I’m in Spain. It’s a rough life. I know. And now you’re usually based out of Dubai.
Correct. Honey, there’s no, usually I know. Yeah. . . Yeah. I had my, um, I had my business, and of course I don’t come from a business family at all. It was, that was a big learning curve in Dubai. I was the first wellbeing company, wellbeing coaching company in the Middle East, but I sell that to two of my students two years ago.
So that could do a lot more traveling, not have to be there to fill in the forms and the bureaucracy of having a business. So two of my hypnosis NLP students bought. two years ago. I’m still there sort of renting space from them like they used to from me. And this means that I’m going to the conferences, the conventions, I can do my trainings wherever.
And I could specialize in what had become two things that have become a passion, which is hypnotics and emotional intelligence. . Excellent. So then as you travel, as you’re, let’s, let’s kind of approach this from both sides of this. As a practitioner versus as a trainer, what would you say have been some of the takeaways of things that have happened over the years?
Things in terms of, does your approach in terms of, let’s start with working with clients. Uh, how, how does that vary for you based on where you’re. is there, is there an international through line to that or are there major considerations that you have to bring to your work? Well, in Dubai it’s, it’s an expat com, very much an expat communicate community.
And I have to work a lot with people who are working their second language. So English is their second language, not their first. So, Cause I’m talking to the subconscious mind, often they’re, they break into their first language whilst they’re in hypnosis. So I have, and I, same with past life, if ev that ever happens to you, just say, speak to me in a language, I’ll understand.
Mm-hmm. . and then they, they can switch. But yeah, I’d share the quick story that my very first age regression session for pay, so very first session with a paying client, we do the regression and suddenly I’ve got this woman speaking in German in my office, which is the moment of, Oh, this wasn’t covered in training, followed by the simple moment as I pick up this hand and drop it.
You can now speak as if you knew English. And that worked followed by these sudden Russia fear and anxiety of, Oh, wait a minute, what if that didn’t work? Luckily it did. . Well, I suppose that’s the takeaway, is trust your intuition. If, if you are relaxed and in in hypnosis as it were, while you are hypnotizing people, the analysis just come and you find yourself saying things where late you think, Where did that come?
or it’ll be the thing where the, the client says, or it was when you said such and such that all the lights went on, and you think, Oh, yeah, that’s, I wonder where that came from. Yeah. Cause it isn’t planned. Although I think that story is the origin of a phrase that I now lean upon for all things, which is Oh yeah.
When all else fails, apply suggestion. Oh yeah. Hypnosis works for that. We can just apply that here. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, , I, Well, I. It’s usually questions cuz I work very much idiomotor responses or working with the client where they’re speaking back. I don’t use scripts at all. Mm-hmm. , I don’t know how people do to tell you the truths.
I mean, cuz you don’t know what they’re coming in for and they say something on the phone, but yeah, you don’t have all the details and they come in and, and it’s something else actually that they need to work on. So if you’ve got a script or planned it and spent. , Now you’ve got to, What are you going to do?
I, I don’t know how people work with scripts unless they’re only saying the same thing. Like I, I met a young girl here who’s learning hypnosis online. Would you believe in Spain from uk? And she says, Oh, I’m going to do slimming. Cuz they, I put them in for their six sessions and then I read the scripts to them.
And I don’t, to me that’s not hypnosis. Well, it’s hypnosis, It’s not Hy therapy. Because I trained Elman. Oh. I’ve trained in many different people in ways, but putting together NLP and Elman to me is, It works. Yes. It works so well. And the benefit of that as a trainer with new students I’ve found is that by beginning with something of that nature is it drives the students to a mindset where they’re working now with intention rather than by accident.
Rather than, these words just happen to of work, it’s, it’s driving them to then pick up other materials and then it prepares the students so that if they do wish to pick up the ScriptBook, They could find something in there, and yet by reading it over, once granted, I’d recommend outside of the session, they’re now recognizing the aspects of the techniques.
This is what this segment is achieving. This is what that segment is achieving. And then perhaps to become recognizable chunks rather than a full blown script. The the main intention though, is it’s training the student to think about their process rather than just do the process. Rather than just run it by the numbers, they’re actually engaging with that client in that moment.
Yeah. Yeah. Engaging the, I always say the, the, the client is the script. Yes. Cause they give you, they’re gonna come and they’re gonna bring everything to it. They do whatever it it is, they have the answers. So somebody wrote a script, but they wrote it for a million people around the world, or one person they were working at that time.
And it doesn’t mean it’s, It’s what your person needs. They know. They know what they need. I mean, that’s why I like doing ultra height Simpson protocol, that sort of thing as well. Once they know how to go into hypnosis well, and they try, they’re starting to trust the subconscious mind. They’re wonderful.
Because the client does do all the work. Yes. To me, these are the things that should be taught in schools is why I got outta full time Educat, . Well, on that note, you’ve, One of the reasons that I reached out to you to, to have you on the program here is that what I’m fascinated by chatting with you is how you’ve taken hypnosis into some markets, into some locations that are.
Perhaps part of the hypnosis history such as hypnotics, but then also let’s then eventually come back to the training that you do within lp, which is in many ways taking it to, Well, we’ll get there in a moment. What was it about hypno, Dontics that first drew you to that as a passion? Again, when people say, That can’t be done, of course I have to go do it.
Yeah. And, um, my husband was a, he, he died six years ago. He was a doctor, and so I was always mingling in with doctors and dentists and people like that, cocktail parties or whatever. Um, I realized that the, and I did get a lot of referrals from doctors, but I wasn’t getting them from the dentist. So I thought that’s going to be the not to crack
And I had what met dentist at a, a do, and uh, He was talking about a, a client in her sixties, which seemed very old to me at the time. Bear in mind that I’m in my sixties now, and , she was having a problem gagging and throwing up, putting these false teeth in that he’d made for her. And yeah, she wasn’t eating, She was losing weight.
Be because she didn’t have teeth to eat with. And uh, he was very worried about. and what he could do with her. So I said I’d see her and two sessions and she was putting her teeth in. She was not gagging, she was eating, she was fine. And that was sexual abuse issues as a child. And that is something close to my heart as I was a abused as a child.
So I started reading up about gagging and um, found out that actually it’s quite common. Gagging as a result of sexual abuse. As as a child. Think things being forced into your mouth that shouldn’t really be put in anybody’s mouth, really. And, and also the fear of the saying something about this and being told that you’ve got to keep the secret so you’re sort of gagging on your words that you want to say.
And once you get them out, it’s fine. So this, this was then something close to my heart working with sexual abuse things. He was so pleased. He started telling everybody else and soon I get lots of dentists there. I decided to use myself hypnosis when I had my root canal, so my dentist was very impressed with that.
She tells everybody, and before I know it, I’ve just got all these people coming referred to by dentists, and then looking in the literature there was. Just nothing on hypnotics. Jerry had a, a DVD on it. I talked to him about writing a book on hypnotics. What did he think? He said, Great. This is Jerry kind, by the way.
Yes. Omni Hypnosis. So I did, I sent it to him. , he thought it was great. Gave me permission to use some of his stuff that I’d used. I took, spoke to the Monds, uh, cuz I was using some Elman stuff. They said, That’s okay, go ahead and use some of the Elman stuff. And, um, decided to publish. That was my sort of catharsis from after my husband died.
I would just go home in the evenings and write. That got me through a, a difficult stage. But it was just something I knew about anyway, and it got me reaching out to some of the people to write the case studies. I wanted to include other people from around the world in the book. And so it would help them to spread the news.
And, uh, now we’re setting up hypnotics world.com and setting up a register for people who do hypnotics. And I really want to, to get dentists involved like Hellman did. Elman. worked a lot with dentists. I don’t know. One more I can say about that. Yeah, you’d be, you’d be proud of the moment though, uh, and I still have not yet connected with this dentist, but there’s apparently services out there that you’re heading into your dentist and there’s a sort of like a substitute school teacher type format.
There are substitute dental hygienist that if the hygienist is not able to come in, there’s a service. They could have someone come. As a single day. And the same is true even of the dentist just to add in supplemental, uh, effort. And it’s not the standard dentist that I go to just because he’s so far out of the area though.
It’s the moment that has, I’m sitting there, he’s looking at my forms and it’s this one time he was at my previous office. He looks at everything and he goes, Oh, hypnotist, Elmanian, or Ericsonian. Wow. And it’s the moment of just have to go, Oh, we need to have lunch. Yes, Yes. And had a good conversation that day, though.
Haven’t yet. Uh, he was, he was in from about an hour and a half up the road for that, uh, for that single day, though. It’s, it’s fascinating that, and, and it’s unfortunate too, that you hear from. , some of the, even some of the hypnosis population that doctors are not willing to refer though, in many ways, I think it’s not necessarily true, and more specifically it’s an issue of we are not doing as good of a job yet to communicate as a whole profession.
What role that we can actually serve, What role we can actually go in. So for that person who perhaps wants to bridge that gap and introduce some of these ideas to their dentist, even the one that they’re actually seeing, what, what recommendation would you give that hypnotist? If you want to break in to the dentist world, get to know their jargon.
They just like, we have our jargon in hypnosis. They have theirs so that you can speak their language. , you know, know the, no, what a root canal is. ? Yes. No, what milk teeth are, Know what gum diseases are. See the gut more and more. The literature that’s coming out about how gum health is actually so important to gut health.
You know, nowadays people complain of their ibs, their gluten, freezer, whatever, but it’s often inflammation in the gums and more and more information about inflammation and health and. How inflammation in our lives shortens our life, , inflammation in the gums, in the teeth, and all that area. Of course, you’re swallowing poison consistently if you don’t have good dental health.
So the dentists and the doctors are starting to talk about this, but the, the ladies that go on their slimming diets and they’re gluten free and they’re this, this and that, this other, they don’t know that. So I think the way to get to the doctors will be through the dentist. So if you had to, if you had to label one specific category to become aware of in one specific place that the hypnotist conserved that benefit, what would that be?
Talk they’re, they’re very open. Mm-hmm. , They’re concerned about drugs. They’re concerned about anesthesia. What? The same things that we are. They, they see the bigger picture. I’m not saying doctors don’t they do. I mean my husband, it , but first of all, get to know, understand some of their language. That’s why I have an introduction to that sort of language in my book so that you start to understand, then go and talk to them and talk to ’em about their stress.
You see, just like we are getting a lot of hypnotists in the world now and there’s a lot of competition, they have huge competi. Now turning out all these dentists, every street corner has a dentist on these days. So they’ve got the stress of competition, the stress of new equipment, constant learning. The young guys coming in with better eyes cuz they’re working in a very small space.
There’s a lot of stress. They have one of the highest suicide rates in the world. Did you know that? Yeah, I’ve heard that. Yeah. So I would say go and offer them some stress management. , when they see how good you are, they will then send clients to you. So let’s then transition over and you tell me, uh, I think I’ve actually asked you this next question previously before, just in a, in a Facebook chat.
I’m curious if there is information to share. I’m, I’m fascinated by the NLP training that you’ve done for actual either police or military personnel. What am I quoting here? Yeah, I Dubai Police. Yes. Tell, tell, tell us more about that. That’s fascinating. Well, that’s the, the, the ruler Sheik Muhammad. He was a young man the same age as me.
In fact, I’m just, he once told me I’m two months older than him, so I must listen to, so he must listen to me . Cause it’s, it’s respectful in the Middle East to, to people who are older than you. And he’s very, uh, forward thinking. He wants to. Of all technologies, whether it’s technology of the clumsy thumbs or the technology of the brain that can help.
He, he knew that I, I know a lot about NLP while I was the first NLP in the Middle East, and that was the first to introduce concept of emotional intelligence, and he’s been building up to creating the country that will be in the top five of the happiness quota. Have you heard of the I have, yes. In a project?
Yeah. So if you want to have a happy country, you’ve got to have a happy police force. You’ve gotta have a police force that doesn’t just pin you down to the ground all the time and accuse you of things that helps you and educate you. You know? So part of this is whenever I ask the police, What’s your job?
Our job is to educate people. Our job is to help people. You know, their job is not to arrest people or accuse people. That’s generally what they think. And that’s part of what we’re setting up there, that to have an emotionally intelligence workforce. But emotional intelligence is a theory. It’s come out of Harvard and Yale and that’s where I studied at Yale.
The how to, as far as I can see, cuz they’re looking for techniques, is nlp, uh, to some extent eft. I was working with a lady on emotional intelligence today, and we chose EFT as. As our mode for doing that. And just pause for, just to pause for a moment. Could you give us just a general, uh, definition of what we mean by emotional intelligence?
Okay. Well, most people seem to know what IQ is. Yes. Oh, IQ is tested in an IQ test. Okay. And that uses two of your intelligence. It’s your mathematical. Intelligence and your linguistic intelligence, you know, so you get things like a square plus a triangle is the same as a circle, plus a, and then go make a choice.
Okay. Those IQ tests and what’s the past tense of go and things like that. We actually have nine intelligences. We’ve, we’ve known this since the sixties. I studied this Professor Gardner’s work, and two of those intelligences are our intrapersonal intelligence. And our interpersonal intelligence, our interpersonal intelligence is our self-awareness and our self-management, our interpersonal, I guess that’s what we are doing now, relating to one another, is our social awareness and our social and relationship management.
So there are, Can you imagine those four quadrants? Yes. You know, a lot of people now in customer service, And in relationships and Cosmopolitan Magazine or whatever, G for men or whatever, they all talk about relationship management. Relationship management, and they focus on that. But you cannot have that unless you have the other three.
Relationship management is the sort of last part of this quadrant that makes up emotional intelligence. Now, to me, what we have in N L P E FT and hypnosis are the tools for self awareness. Isn’t that what we’re doing when we’re doing hypnosis and asking people to go to high self, get messages about themselves to, to look at their past and the things that have happened to them that created the habits of today, et cetera.
So we have the tools for self-awareness. We have then the tools for self management, and we have. With those, you can then become more socially aware. More socially aware means things like reading. Reading eyes. Like in nlp. Yeah, Yeah. Becoming empathetic and putting ourselves in other people’s shoes.
Observation, the presuppositions of nlp. And then once we have all this relationship management will come easy. But so many people think of the relationship management. Oh, I’ve got to text my boyfriend five times every day, and why is he not answering him? It’s more about control and management. So in many ways, it’s taking, which this is becoming one of, or it has been and is becoming an even bigger buzzword in terms of even the corporate world or even just the professional world.
World. Though in many ways, you’re taking a lot of our skills as the hypnotist and bringing them into this context of how we can actually serve as a gap between these two concept. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And then you, you become the emotional in intelligence coach, the AI coach, because they know they want emotionally intelligent employees.
They want emotionally intelligent managers and middle managers, but they don’t know how to get there. Which have all things to reference. There’s a lot of work that I’ve done over the years with high schools and for a while, and admittedly I can share that I was getting a little frustrated with this concept that the, the buzzword they were searching for was.
Character building. Yes. Which from my perspective, character building was how do we water down all the messages that we’re supposed to be delivering in one specific message? Though this category of emotional intelligence is one that better satisfies what their goals were rather than. Character building.
Just be a good person and being this sort of bland statement that’s coming out there. Instead, let’s begin with the individual and their ability to sympathize, their ability to empathize, their ability to navigate that world around them in terms of their own emotions and take better control of their own state, which is exactly what we talk about within lp.
Exactly. Yeah. So you were telling a story previously about a client earlier today? Oh, yes. Uh, my client had been working with here and we chose EFT to work on the issues that she was working on. I’ve been working with her two weeks. This is her third session. Uh, she had Crohn’s disease and it’s more or less gone.
She never had, um, a day or an hour without pain. With some hypnosis, some nlp, a lot of AI coaching it. It is gone. She’s totally in control. I just leaving her today with lots more techniques, some spinning, some d, the work of the different fingers that she can rob. She’s totally in control of state, changing the words.
I, I get dentists to change their words. Yeah. A lot of the end of the police as well, there’s certain words that will spike, spark, anger, or fear in people. Instead of saying the drill, you say the handpiece, , . Instead of pain, you say comfort or discomfort and just changing the words that she uses to herself.
She’s. It’s just amazing. And her skeptical husband even has noticed changes in her people that she works with. She’s now back to work where she, she couldn’t work because she was forever running to the toilet. She’s, she doesn’t love her stoma. She had, um, stoma 20 years ago, but she accepts it. Well, I wouldn’t be surprised by, in 60 weeks time when I get back, she’ll, she’ll, She hasn’t undressed in front of her husband since she had a stoner put in.
So that’s the next thing to work on for her. Yeah. Yeah. So you have a, it’s a two day post conference workshop that you’re gonna be training on emotional intelligence for the hypnotist in terms of skills. That’s gonna be after the NG convention. Yes, that’s to certify, to be an AI coach. I’ve done it a couple of times.
I, I actually did the first one 10 years ago, 2006. Mm-hmm. and great feedback from the people that did it, but most people just didn’t get it. They didn’t understand what I was doing. Maybe as usual, be she’s far, far too ahead, up and out there, now people are getting a bit more, but Alison has always understood that he comes from an educational background.
and the importance of emotional intelligence, and I’m hoping we’ll get quite a crowd this year. It will be certified. It is certified by the National Guild. We’ll certify from Dubai as well if they want that. We’ll be covering, I’ll be giving them a USB port with all the material and I don’t give them a paper copy, but that’ll have PowerPoint so they could go straight out the next week.
And with the PowerPoint teach class. or, or make an introductory talk on emotional intelligence. So how do you see this as a market fitting in with the modern day hypnotist? Well, I, I see that they could do, as I do on my business card, it says emotional intelligence development specialist. They could put emotional intelligence coach and then using the certain, you know, and underneath that of a tools to get emotional intelligence.
and I think this will o well, I know it does for me open far more doors describing. that way, then describe yourself as a hypnotist because if you are giving you an elevator speech, you know, and I have been stuck in an elevator once actually with five Arab guys, , and my friend said she’s a hypnotist and they all backed off you some space, but what’s your all to sleep, if you like until we get rescued.
But that was the days long ago before. Started saying emotional intelligence development specialists, because as soon as you say that, people say, Oh, I’ve never met one of those before. And they actually move forward into you cuz they want more information. But if you say hypnotist, oh, now they’ve got a thought in their hand.
They’ve got a belief system you have to eradicate, eliminate something about that other title drives them to have to ask you questions to learn more. . Yeah, but I’m an emotional intelligence development coach or an emotional development, emotional intelligence development specialist. Oh, what’s that? Oh, that sounds interesting.
I’ve never met one of those. What do you do? So it’s a totally open mind vocabulary, Raza, and it’s, it’s so easy to then talk about the tools that you use. is there, is there a story that stands out of a time that you’ve done such a presentation, let’s say, for a, a business or even a government organization in terms of the feedback based on what they’ve learned from you?
Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t say which car, but think of a. A, a sort of v i p kind of car that every Arab would drive. Mm-hmm. , . I’m wanting to crack a horrible joke here and it rhymes with Mercedes, but we’re not No, no
All right. So they, uh, they were having problems because these particular cars, you don’t even have to sell them. You don’t have to advertise, and they just walk out the showroom by themselves. Okay. But they’re getting more and more technical. This was many years ago when, you know, there was a button for this and a button for that and everything.
And, and you know, you didn’t have to wind up your windows and, uh, it just, things were leaping out at you in these cars. So this, the salesmen were like, On, um, commission, so, oh, sold another one. Sold another one. Then do this, do this, push this push. If you have any problems, go and see Service department. If you have any problems.
See, service department now, service department are getting all these people coming in. I don’t know how this works. I don’t know how, how do, where is my cigarette lighter or where is my this? I can’t find that cuz everything, It’s not like an hour anymore, right? Yeah. So, There was a big clash between service department who want to service cars and they can’t get in when their job is servicing because they’re educating customers.
And there was, you know, the. Not fights breaking out, but a lot of alliances and groups for me, et cetera. So I went in and did some emotional intelligence training with them in groups, calming them down, listening to the other person’s people’s point of view. How do you think other people feel going through those four quadrants?
And they were delighted with that. And it was, um, a good two months work because it was a huge company. So it was a good gig. ? Yeah. Yeah, because I was going in the mornings to do that, which are quiet for hypnotist. I dunno about you, but my mornings are always quiet and then my clients come after the school day or after the work day, so I was really, really busy.
What about it in terms of their feedback of once they’ve incorporated some of these skills, feedback we. We have more inclusiveness in the team, more sensitivity to one another. We listen before we assume. We feel that when, cuz we’ve got these cross teams, not just the service team or the. Sales team. We, we have different teams.
We, we, we, we are developing, so the sales are learning about service. Service are learning about sales, the service people. Were much more introvert and sales people, much more extrovert, but by putting them into these problem solving networking teams. , they were adapting their characters and the introverts, the se, the service people were becoming more assertive, able to say things rather than mumble away as they’re underneath a car with a span
So therefore, more empathy and empathy and consequential thinking of the highest forms of emotional intelligence. . So now they were con, they were applying consequential thinking in the sales team because they were in another team with the service people and the consequences of their action. If they don’t teach the customer this, or if they don’t do this or they do do something else.
So a lot more empathy, consequential thinking. And it actually got to the point where, where the boss said, I don’t know, be, they’re so well educated now. I think I’m going to have to pay them more
because I’m going to lose them to the, the, um, the B from the eight to the B. The B, you know, the. The other, um, European country, the other same or European country, the B team. So the B team we’re taking from the, uh, other team . Well, I mean, that being said, the whole topic of emotional intelligence is something that even I’ve had two clients in the last month come in and reference in terms of trainings that were going on at their workplace.
So I can definitely see that scenario where there. Suddenly now more desirable. Uh, and to have that link back to you and your service, that’s outstanding. But I, you see, I think that the hypnotists in a way have, have lost the jump. Now if, if Pete, I wish the National Guild and I really had really jumped on this 10 years ago and I first started teaching emotional intelligence.
Because we could have been the, We could, This is how we could have got hypnosis and NLP on the map even more by jumping onto that bandwagon of emotional intelligence, which is so well thought of by Yale and Princeton, and Harvard, et cetera. We missed the boat in many respect. Though it’s still developing and I think that opportunity is definitely still there and there, but I think we had an opportunity to get in there really big.
Mm-hmm. earlier on. So more so that we’re, we’re catching up with this theme as opposed to pioneering this theme. Yeah. Well a lot of people now, what they’re doing actually is just taking their old interpersonal skills courses. Um, Calling them emotional intelligence, but they’re not. You see, I think we guys really understand what emotion is as opposed to.
The corporate trainers who’ve who, who jumped on this and took it and flew with it. Well, I’ll do this. I’ll put, uh, yeah, I’ll put uh, links to the upcoming training as well as your book over in the show notes over at Work Smart Hypnosis a Barrel. This has been great. Haven you on here. Okay. Yeah, it’s a huge subject I could talk all day on and I love it.
Well, you’ve got two days to talk on at least coming up in August. Well, I don’t talk, when I’m training, I get everybody else to do the work. Nice, nice, nice. Like when I’m with the client, the client does all the work. Exactly. Exactly. Well, they’re the one who’s gotta find their way through it, I think. I think that’s one of those common phrases that we as hypnotists need to talk a little bit less and listen a bit.
Yeah. And if at any time you want me to come to Virginia and teach some emotional intelligence for those corporations out there in Virginia, I’m very happy to do so. Oh, the too close to the government. We need that here, . Exactly. Yeah. Where can, uh, where can people find you online? Online. I’m just setting up a new website, hypno dontics world.com.
Outstanding. Well, great. It’s been great having you on here. I’ll see you in. I’ll you, Jason. See you soon. Hi, thank you. Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis podcast and work smart hypnosis.com. Hey there, Jason Lynette. And one last quick nod back to the virtual gastric band program that I mentioned inside of the introduction.
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