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This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 297 Chantel Newfeld from Cult to Freedom. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette, this week’s episode.
Definitely surprised me. You are in for a treat and an incredible story, an incredible journey along this process because I’ll tell you to kind of walk through what was happening. I got a message from Chantel who I knew from various Facebook groups, we’ve interacted once or twice online, and as she expressed an interest in coming onto the podcast, I said, yes, I had time in the schedule.
And we set it up and I kind of went into this not knowing where we were gonna go. And to say it simply, I will. This week’s episode kind of speak for itself because you’re about to hear an incredible story from being faced with a very clear challenge, a very clear conflict that I’m sure for many people out there, it becomes every reason why.
They shut down. They don’t take action in their life and they kind of live to say it politely, someone else’s story. And you’re gonna hear the journey of leaving that behind and letting that become a passion now of helping others. A fair number of her clients coming out of a very similar background and very similar story, and then just by the business model as we’ll talk about, of just being so good they can’t ignore you, how that then brings in the rest of her referral client.
Two on top of that. So listen to this one. There is some incredible insight, some incredible thinking, dealing with clients with trauma, with anxiety, codependency issues. There’s a lot in this conversation, which is where you should head over to the show [email protected] and track down this week’s specific episode.
It’s number 2 97. We’ve got a new habit that makes it easier for you. Go to work smart hypnosis.com/the numbers. 2 97. By the way, just use the numbers. Someone sent me a link the other day going, I tried spelling it out and they wrote the number. No, just 2 97 after work smart hypnosis.com and the slash while you’re there.
Check out Work Smart Hypnosis Live. So we’ve moved most of our trainings online as that’s the routine this year. However, I’ve been doing trainings online for a number of years. The next training, however, if you’re listening to this in time, starting in early December of 2020, Richard non guard and I are joining forces once again and doing the live online hybrid training together.
We actually just wrapped up a training with 36 graduates, and this is what’s so cool. Interacting with the material online in advance, then coming into an online Zoom session, and now everybody in the group has the same working knowledge, which means even in that shorter time span of real time education, I’ll tell you by class number five.
The students were doing some pretty heavy hypnotic work. They were doing positive resource based regression into strengths and assets, creating anchors, and then using that as a system to then connect with a future outcome where I’ll say it simply, in many trainings, by that point, people are still looking at scripts.
They were doing the real work of professional hypnosis, and that’s what we do in Work Smart Hypnosis live, whether it’s in person as we’ll, eventually get back to doing, or as we’ve pivoted it to be online, to make it convenient to you and safe all around the world. So if you’re listening to this in time, check out that page, Work smart hypnosis live.com to learn about the next event that I’m bringing, Richard Non Guard Board once again.
Back by popular demand, I guess we can say, or then again, if it’s in the future that you’re listening to this, we do the courses on a regular basis, both online and in person. Either way, check out the videos, check out the schedule and details over at work smart hypnosis live.com. And with that, here we go.
This is amazing. Thank you so much for telling your story on this episode. Episode number 297, Chantel Newfeld from cult. To freedom? Well, I wanted to be a therapist ever since I was a kid. I was fascinated with James Dobson as a kid, the psychologist. So I always thought I would go to university in college and.
Take psychology and become a therapist, but I got married at 18 instead and had kids right away and didn’t land up going to university and college. I was on Facebook one day and I came across this ad, said, Become a hypnotherapist, and I just really saw therapist because it was, it seemed doable. It was on the weekends, it was affordable.
It was two hours drive from my place and I was like, I can do. And so I did, took the training for a year and I, I could take it for free subsequent years. So I’ve been going back as a helper and learning of course each time. So that’s how I got into it. . Yeah. And then kind of rewinding back, I love, you know, so often we kind of begin with that phrase that, you know, we didn’t grow up wanting to do that, but in some way you did.
Yeah. What was it about the therapeutic work that you were drawn to that made that a goal that early Well, I grew up in a homeschool cult. It was run by Bill Gohar. I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Dugger on tv. Yes. It was their program, although my families wasn’t as happy as the Dugger, so I was always just trying to keep everybody happy.
I was the oldest of 10 kids and you know, I would call family meetings and try to get people to see each other’s point of view, and I don’t know, I guess it’s just. Whenever I’ve asked myself who I am, the answers always come back. You’re a healer. So it took some years to understand what that meant. You know, , that I’m actually not healing anybody.
They’re, they’re the ones doing the work. I’m just the guide. So, yeah. Yeah, so a bit of a long story short there. Yeah, I, I would say so like, let’s, let’s make that the entire episode here. Sure. I don’t mind. I’ve done that before. No, I mean, I’ve had the person come in as a client and that was part of the story as to what I came from.
How I got out of it, how I got out of it, and now how I’ve become stronger as a result of, you know, changing my beliefs, letting my beliefs become my own. Let’s start with the end in mind here. What would you say? HA has been that long term result of you, for you in terms of that was the background, but now here’s where you are.
What’s, what’s that created for you? Well, so much like, because we grow through adversity, right? Yeah. And so it’s definitely given me a bigger worldview, I think. Because I, I lived in the States for a while cuz I’m from Canada. I lived in the States for a while at various, like the headquarters of this cult and training centers.
So yeah, I guess a bigger worldview, able to help more people. There’s a lot of gifts that it’s given me a. I guess deciding what I believe for myself. Yeah. Kind of being able to clear the slate and start fresh, like when you have estranged family members and friends and stuff like, cuz the church I went to was also cult, so when I left it was kind of like starting from scratch with building up my circle.
And so at the time of course I saw it as a, as a curse, but now I see it as a blessing to be able to move forward in life, not worrying what other people think of. Yeah, so I’m fascinated by the fact that yes, it takes time to fully create a new reality around us to build a new infrastructure, to build new social networks.
Yet when you get down to it, and this is I think a major point as we’re talking on a hypnosis podcast, that when you get down to it though, there usually is a singular turning point. Where the entire model of the world is different and you can’t go back to the old way. Mm. I’m curious to ask, was there a specific turning point for you where it was that, that old background, that upbringing was no longer going to be a part of who you are now?
Well, I would have to say that it was a very gradual. Way out. I mean, yes, there was a point in time where I said, You know, no more of this cult stuff, No more church, That sort of a thing. So I started this Facebook group online for the survivors of my cult, and that was very empowering because together we were able to band together and a website was formed where we all shared our stories, led to a court case against the leader, and he had to step down from his position.
Yeah, lots of stuff went down and in the group we kind of supported each other and. Each other, build our new world views. And yeah, the the biggest turning point for me though was in 2015, my sister died from cystic fibrosis. She was 25 and a few months later, my brother died from suicide. He was 21. So when you go through like that dark part of your life where just like everything seems wrong, It often emerges with, uh, brand new life.
And that’s when I actually moved forward with becoming a therapist was after those, those heart wrenching things. Before that, I was sort of just surviving. I hadn’t gone to therapy myself, so. Yeah, . It was a big turning point where I went to therapy and became a therapist about five years ago. That’s, that’s amazing.
And especially in terms of, you know, you look at, I, I’ve branded this as the power of premise, that here’s what someone’s gone through, and it could become every reason why things fall apart. They become inactive, they hold themselves back, and clearly from your story, Going through this, it’s made you stronger.
And now using that as a skillset to help people and I’m, We’ll come back around to the hypnosis. I’m curious cuz I’ve only had two instances in my office where let’s say one was a potential client actually know, a potential student to say it right. And I have to give a little bit more detail. Anyone who offers trainings, this is a standard strategy that, oh, the ticket price for the event is this much.
But if you sign up early, it’s that amount. So what happened though was someone somehow signed up for one of my trainings at the big ticket, full price. The amount that if you showed up the day of you’d, you’d pay that, which is like a $500 difference. And we’re basically rewarding people by signing up early.
That’s the foundation that somehow. This guy found a page. I couldn’t figure it out and backtrack it, but somehow he paid full price, which, you know, I was actually about to operation. Customer service, 100%. Go. Hey, there’s actually a promo running. You miss that way. There’s no chatter in the room that, Oh, I paid more than everyone else cuz he signed up early enough.
Except as soon as I’m on the call, I’m realizing something’s a little weird. . Well, my family members have been pulled into a cult and I wanted to study hypnosis, so, and this could have gone somewhere noble, but instead the next bit of language was so I can start my own and pull them out. Oh my gosh, to which, the best thing I could find to say, which maybe there was probably a better choice here, was to go, Well, apparently there’s been a miscommunication, and I think that miscommunication was entirely on you because that word is nowhere on my website.
Well, what should I do instead? It’s like, I, I don’t have a resource for that. What do you know that another hypnosis instructor who could, I’m like, I think a name comes to mind, but I wouldn’t send anybody to that person, . So, you know, I, I have had the person though on the other, which the money was abruptly refunded.
I’m like, Yeah, your expectation of what this event is going to be is not what it. This is solely for helping your clients with this. Is that an interest of yours? No, just the cold thing. You really said . Oh my God. Was like, well, wish she the best. I think. I don’t know if I wanna say that the, the other one though was somebody, and I can draw a correlation to the story though, which that was the upbringing.
She had a similar turning point, and yet still some of the belief systems, some of the negative things and threats to call it out that were made to her. We’re holding her back. Same as, and listen to this entire next statement, everybody. Otherwise there’s a fence that in the 1970s, here’s another client who was labeled as quote, the retarded girl, except how was it that she was now on track to become the valedictorian?
and what would now be deemed as Asperger’s or high functioning, and they changed the diagnosis, but still to this day, holding onto that internal dialogue of you’re the retarded girl, was what they were saying. So I’m curious, have you worked with people in this hypnosis role who have also come from that world?
Oh yeah. I would say at least half of my clients are the cult that I grew up in. Yeah. Tell us about that. Yeah. Well, I also wanted to, just before I go into that, just mention that as I went through like my NLP training and my hypnosis training, so many things like the language patterns and other things I recognized from the pulpit, like from my church called and also from the the homeschool called seminar.
And I’ve been able to see it in politics too, you know, different handshakes and, and just the, the way of speaking, and it just brought me to the awareness that hypnosis is a powerful tool and it’s just like a hammer. You can use it to build something great, or you can use it to kill somebody like . You can use hypnosis for good or for.
just like most things, you know, life is yin yang, . Mm-hmm. . And so I find it incredibly amazing to be able to use the tool of hypnosis to help survivors of the cult that we were raised in to, you know, create their own beliefs to, to go back and see what is it that I really wanna stand for? Like, what was, what was conditioned into me and, and what, what do I really think cause.
So often, like we work with like parts integration or parts ifs, parts therapy where there’s two parts that are at war. There’s this one childhood part that still kind of believes the, the indoctrination. And then there’s the adult part who, who knows consciously, you know, that’s incorrect, but they’re still kind of at war.
So, You mentioned the words and patterns. Is there a specific example that comes to mind? Um, yeah. The one where you say something three times, get an amen and then you implant your next thing. Or the pacing and leading. Yeah. Or when you’re, when you’re talking like to the analytical mind and you just kind of overload like just a bunch of stuff that would, you need to be like a really smart scholar to understand and then it kind of zones them out and.
Implant the stuff. So yeah, those are the things that come to mind first. But there was lots . Well, I, again, exactly what you said, and you know, the metaphor of the hammer is the same one that I tend to use, that it’s a matter of how we use it and how it’s put into use there. There’s a quick anecdote that I think 40 people listening to this episode will go, Oh yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about.
And the rest will go, Oh, that’s interesting. And you’ll see why I’m censoring it. We were at a conference. The whole premise, the promise was that this was gonna be a no pitch event. You know, the vendors will have, the speakers will have a vendor table if you want to go chat with them. Yet the whole intention was no sales from the front of the room, except one person got up and sold for 90 minutes, did not really present any content, and was just puling the audience with an offer.
And it was interesting though. This has been established and suddenly this was an interrupt. So it was turning the audience against the person, you know, in a different context that might have actually worked well. And they were going, I started to look around and everybody looked pissed off. I’m like, Why is this still going on?
Why haven’t they interrupted that? And they go, And I looked in the back of the room and Jason, you were back there and you were smiling so big. And so were some of the other speakers. And it’s like, Oh. They’re finding entertainment in this, um, . And, and then she goes, and I started watching again. And the, the, uh, Thomas Edison story of learning what not to do is often a good lesson , right?
Yes. I, I was at a, i I was at a conference one time and this was the offer, and then someone got up and started selling hard and people around me suddenly looked over and I’m typing, you know, as many words per minute as I could. They’re. Can you believe this? I thought they weren’t gonna sell. I’m like, I’m transcribing , which the whole message of influence, let’s use it to help somebody.
So the tool is neither good nor bad. It’s a matter of the intention and how it’s put to use. If it’s the client who’s coming in and that’s part of their background, they’re now out of that world. What? What are the issues that you’re often helping them with? Codependency is, I think you expand on that, the biggest one.
And social anxiety. Yeah. Talk about the codependency, cuz I think that’s a category that’s a bit misunderstood as to exactly what that is and what we can do to help. Oh, wow. I could talk for hours on codependency, . It’s like where to start. All of these tabs are opening up in my brain. Yeah. If you had to give like a thumbnail explanation of it for those that it might be new to.
Well, it’s really a boundaries issue or a lack of boundaries issue. Like, here’s what’s okay for me and here’s what’s not being a doormat as a kid. Growing up in, in a very strict, abusive household, you know, your protectors are there to keep you safe. And your protectors say if you just keep quiet and you just go along with it and you just say and do whatever needs to be said and done so they’re happy, you’ll, you’ll stay alive.
You’ll stay, you know better than. Otherwise , but it reminds me of Brene Brown’s definition of boundaries. It’s not only, here’s what’s okay for me and here’s what’s not. It’s more about like, well, I’ll give the metaphor of owning a parcel of land with a fence around it and a gate. And so that metaphor is like, you know, we each have our own parcel of land.
We each have our our gate, and we can choose to. People in or choose to usher them out. But people growing up as I did have, you know, that’s, that line is blurred. It’s a challenge for them often to say what they want and what they don’t want and, and they grow, Grow up thinking that we are responsible for our parents’ happiness.
And then as an adult, that often, uh, turns into, while others are responsible for my happiness, or there’s a lot of, uh, relationship issues with, you know, like, , you think you need the other one for your happiness or you need to make them happy. It’s a, like an enmesh. It’s not really a standing on your own two feet to be in your own person and having the other, having your partner be a welcome addition and someone that you can give to once you filled your own cup.
Yeah. Does that all make sense? That that does so then, Inside of that, because often if we’re working at the surface structure of the issue, you know, now we’re looking at speaking up for ourselves. Now we’re looking at confidence. Now we’re looking at finding that strength from within. What are, what are some of the bullet points inside of that in terms of, you know, I, I always crack the joke in a training where students often start to ask questions like, What about a person with a d d?
What do you do? And the answer should always be, what’s their goal? What about a person with codependency? And the answer has to be, what’s their goal? So what are the goals that are often bringing them into that process? Anxiety is a big thing. Mm-hmm. like a social anxiety and just a general anxiety. I, Which makes sense.
given their past, Well, they come up with, with different things to focus on. I guess everyone is, Is unique in that, and although we do set an intention at the beginning, like they do often when you get into their inner landscape, there are, what do you call it, layers. . Mm-hmm. , you know, there’s protectors that.
Need to be dealt with first before you can actually, you know, like it’s not usually a one session fixes all type of a thing. Often they get huge relief from the first one cuz you can just release so much of that emotion. But yeah, , I don’t know if I could. Necessarily narrow it down to one thing. I mean, I did a lot of market research on this particular group, and social anxiety was the top problem that they would say that they would make an appointment for, which, uh, kind of makes sense because here’s this, let, let’s characterize, here’s this group where it’s everything is happening inside of it, and you’re not supposed to be communicating outside.
Yeah, like the model of the world is that everyone else but your group or those, you know, is dangerous, bad Cetera, et cetera. Mm-hmm. , you know, so they, they look out at the world as being a dangerous place or it can be triggering and cause a panic attack just to even think about, for example, a neighbor disliking them for some reason or another, you know, like
So yeah, it can be a huge hurdle to over. Which that’s interesting that here’s the person who has that turning point, discovers the rest of the world now is distancing themselves from the old beliefs, yet still let, let’s put it this way, not to diminish it, but there’s something to be said about they’re holding onto the habit of the old fear.
Mm-hmm. , that it’s, it’s familiar to still have that distrusting sensation. So to get specific into hypnosis, what are some of the strategies, what are some of the methods you’re using to help at that point? Well, I found that ifs. Parts therapy. Are you familiar with it? Like I, I always say parts is a category.
When we say ifs, could you get more specific internal family systems? So yeah, the long and short of it is that we have three types of parts. Everyone has three types of parts. The self, which is all the good things. Calm, curiosity, compassion, et cetera. Uh, protective parts that were, you know, put in place in childhood to keep you alive or keep you happier.
mm-hmm. . And often as adults, we don’t need those protective things. And then the third, our exiles, exiles are like, Child parts, like the actual hurt emotional parts. So these protective parts, there’s some are firefighters which are like, you know, drinking and other addictions that people would look at as bad.
And then there’s the manager parts, which often comes out as codependency, where you appear, you know, put together on the surface, but your, your mind is really hell unearth. So where would I go with that? I like that as a no, I like that as a model because, It was when, a couple of episodes ago, not too long ago, we had Barry Neal on the program, and we’ll link to that in the show [email protected], where he was talking about sort of the challenge of a parts model where you’re having the client name, the different areas.
And in this system we are working with a bit of an approach. Let’s frame it with an appropriate generalization as to hear are the parts. We end up developing over time and let’s, I’m sure start there and if there’s something that needs to be cleaned up, there’s further work, of course. Mm-hmm. , is there a, is there a story of a client that comes to mind as to how the process was so helpful to them and what results it created?
Oh, there’s many stories, but I just kind of wanna tell this story of when I started out as a therapist, I was using timeline therapy. So that was like what was taught to me by my first teacher. And of course at the time I thought that’s all there was to hypnotherapy, . But I really wanted a well rounded view.
So, you know, like people such as yourself, like listening to your podcasts and Deanna Nuez. I don’t know if you know her. She’s awesome. She mentored me for a long time. She’s great. She’s been on here twice, I think. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, She’s incredible. But anyways, I wanted a more well rounded view of hypnotherapy.
And so what this has, has allowed me to do now is to like, first you set the intention for the, for the session and really, you know, count him down, go down a hill. But that, that’s their inner landscape. Like they find a safe place at the beginning and then they just go out on a journey. And so whatever they see is right for them, like whether it be a hallway, whether it be a pathway outside, whatever it is, they come across either symbols or or people.
And each one of them is. It. It represents a part. And so the best book I ever read that I use in each session is called Feeding Your Demons. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it. No. But it has this transformative set of questions that is just really powerful. So when we come across a part that is, you know, Trying to do its best to protect, but of course as an adult, it’s that behavior is not helping.
Okay? So we come across either a symbol or sometimes it is like a person, part in their inner landscape, and we ask these questions, What do you want from me? What do you need from me? And how will you feel when you get what you need? And then the suggestion is to turn your body into a nectar that has the quality of the feeling that that part would have if its need was met.
And so then continue to feed that part to complete satisfaction. And as you do notice how it transforms or disappears, and then it can transform into an ally, or you can invite an ally to appear if that part disappear. And this process has been the most helpful that I’ve found. And it’s just incredible the transformation because like in their subconscious it, it heals that, or it basically gives that protector a different job.
Mm-hmm. , if that makes sense. , Yeah. Like of course there’s a whole book explaining this and I’m trying to say it in two minutes, but , that’s the long and short of it. Well, it’s, it’s this positive based approach to things, so kind of eradicating. The old language of sabotaging behavior or something being bad going into the now, really now standard thinking that okay, so whatever this behavior is, there’s a positive intent inside of it.
We just need to find a better way to satisfy it. Exactly. And I first got ahold of this idea by watching the movie Inside Out, that animated movie, Nice and like just seeing that sadness. Was the, you know, the hero in the end. And, and that, that lesson that our negative emotions have a positive purpose and they’re trying to tell us something.
And just like these parts, these protective parts, they, they too have a positive purpose. It’s kind of like with the whole parts integration. Idea. You know, like that both sides want, want your best happiness and it’s just about how to, yeah. Get that inner not critic, that inner battle to go away by having them work together or transforming, you know, one of these so-called demons into an ally.
I. Which I have a question that I think I need to frame extremely carefully and let me be the smart ass and say, it’s not like they’d be listening. You’ll see where I’m going with this because there’s the example of, in the Amish culture, they reach a certain point where they’re, then, I forget the exact term, where they leave and they go out, ex experience the rest of the world, and that’s where then as the teenager, they make the decision for themselves what life they choose.
And despite the outside thinking, I think it’s about a half and half choice, if not the majority, staying within that culture. So what I’m curious to find out is, have you had the person, and it’s not to say the process did not work, but let’s say chose to go back. No , nobody that I know in, in my circle or that has been referred to me has chosen to go back, which it’s a which, yeah.
To look at the, how they’re finding you, I’d imagine that’s definitely the case. You know, I was curious to ask that, because again, once we see the, the episode that so many people keep referencing was, I forget the number, but Howard Cooper ruins a magic trick, which when I saw him demo this in London, I’m like, We have to make that an episode, which.
Briefly, he, if the question pops up, what if the hypnosis wears off and then Howard suddenly does a magic trick, which is completely out of nowhere, but then he explains how it worked and he goes, Watch it again. And you can’t be impressed by it the second time because now you’re looking for the method because you know how it works.
Now that I’d imagine as soon as the mind let’s say, makes that flip and it’s no longer in that cult in that world, it’d be pretty damn near impossible to go back to the old way. Oh yeah. Well, I mean when you think about it, all humans are constantly evolving and changing. Like the person you were yesterday is not the person you are today.
Yes. So it, when you look at it from that perspective, you can’t go back, even if you try . Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Especially cuz our, the hard times change us, but it’s just the freedom, the freedom that someone experiences after. Under such control for their whole lives. I mean, it’s indescribable. Why would you ever wanna go back to mm-hmm.
to that life? So then what’s the, you said these are about half of your clients now. What’s the other half? Just referrals. You know, people who just want general therapy or trauma, like that’s what I specialize in, is like childhood trauma. And so many people have it. Like I used to think that, Oh, you know, woe was me.
I’m the victim. You know, that was the old mentality before I learned about empowerment. But so many people have experienced like bullying on the playground at school, or you know, growing up with a alcoholic parent. Like I just, I realized that it wasn’t just me in my own little world who had. Experienced abuse.
Other, other people have also experienced childhood trauma. And these tools that I’ve learned, you know, they work across the board. So to have these very specific specialties, are there now things that you choose not to work on? No. There are people that I choose not to work with. Nice. Nicely said. How so?
Well, you just know it’s kind of like just meeting anyone. Like I feel like not everybody was meant to get along, right? Like there’s certain people that just click and you feel like, Okay, we speak the same language. You know, this will work. But if you’re, if you come across someone who speaks a. Different language, like not an actual language, like English versus der, right?
Yes. But I mean, just a way of speaking like, yes, I know how to work with different representational systems and, and the like, but they’re just, I don’t know. There are some people who, who are just , I dunno how to word it. Well, I, I’d say, you know, my take on that is that, You know, the nature of the business that I run now, people, now I’ve made it.
So, and this is the result of having been at it for so long. The office I’m sitting in, not the specific location, but we opened up in Virginia in November of 2009 and going on. 12, 12 years or so now in terms of seeing clients, it turned in in before that, even in Baltimore, which I keep cracking the joke, it would’ve been stupid to call it Virginia Hypnosis when I lived in Maryland.
That’s why it was a different name. But the the time where realizing that we can use media, we can use education online videos, and what in the marketing world they call filtration systems. So like nowadays, You can’t really call Virginia hypnosis. You go to a page, you watch a quick presentation, then it gives the opportunity to schedule which quote, the difficult person likely isn’t gonna go through those hoops.
This is characterized when I was moving outta the old office to the one that I’m in now, and I moved last year, April. The guy next door goes, Oh, you’re the hypno guy, right? Which is the official Certifi guy, certified title . How much is it to quit smoking? It was like, Well, there’s a video on my website that explains the entire program.
Well, how long’s the video? It’s about nine minutes. Well, I’m not gonna watch that. Then. You’re probably not gonna quit smoking with me. It is really my opinion on that now. Yeah, I was on. I don’t know which one cuz, uh, for the new Hypnotic Language Hacks program, I was on a business podcast the other day and I, I had forgotten this story that this was like one of my, this is in my first month of opening up back to 2009 and the call comes in, I wanna see if you can make me stop smoking.
Oh, wow. Which, Could have be like, Well, would you like to role play with me and do some pretending? Sure. , Which can work? Which it could have been, You know, I, I’ve learned that people have different speech patterns. I have a designer who is in the Philippines and I had to stop reading into, Hey, have you updated the website?
Oh, I’ve already done that. And I was reading already as in the, what the hell’s wrong with you? Didn’t you look first when just that was the language pattern. Oh, I’ve already taken care of it. There was no animosity in that. I wanna see if you can make me stop, but Oh, it got worse because it was that I have no interest in quitting and I need to make sure you’ll accept my check.
That way if I smoke when I leave the office, I can stop the payment on. It’s like, Oh, isn’t that wasting everybody’s time? And I, I thought this is like the first time I used my, my Now classic phrase. Oh, the good news is this will be a very short phone call, . Which the end of the story though is by turning this person away, the phone started ringing, like, Crazy because this could have been a negative about, and because she’s out there, Oh, let’s use the exact quote.
It’s my, it’s my show. Dammit. Uh, this asshole hypnotist who wouldn’t take me as a client , to which the friends were hearing this, like, Ooh, he’s got boundaries. Let’s, Yeah, exactly. The friends were hearing this and going, Yeah, she would never quit, but I’m ready. Can I come in? Nice. Be like, Okay, you have some discernment, which now I wanna work with you.
That built rapport without you even talking on them. Well, it built rapport with her friends. Let’s end it. That , So you mentioned earlier, you mentioned, which the disclaimer to that is, of course, the colorful conflict stories are the ones that are more fun to share, as opposed to, Yeah, here’s the person who came in and she saw the website.
She goes, Oh, that’ll help. Yay. That’s the standard when we’re doing it. Right. You mentioned running a Facebook group. What, what are some of the strategies that you’re doing to have these people find you and end up even being referred? Have you heard of human design? Like there’s, you know, it’s kind of like a personality.
Thing. Yeah. Um, yeah, so mine is projector, which is wait for the invitation, but that doesn’t mean that I just sit on my ass and do nothing in terms of marketing , which was also the business model of Dracula. By the way. He was alone, the house unless he was invited. But I like, I like your metaphor better.
Well, I mean, you didn’t invite me onto the podcast. I just kind of got a intuition hit and I was just like, I went with it and that’s how I live my life. Nice. Yeah, so that’s how I, how I mark it. Also, when I get some inspiration, then I will make a video or put out something. Otherwise I, Yeah, it’s, I don’t really have a lot of a strategy, like I’m not.
Personality, Well, let’s just say this, . If there is a creator and there was a design, or if I decided before I was born what my path was going to be, then I made myself be bad at some things. For example, remembering things or anything analytical so that I would be steered towards my gifts and what I came here to do, which is what I do, and it’s all very intuitive,
So I have very deep emotional inte. But yeah, none of us got all the gifts when they were handing out gifts. . But still and clearly though it’s working is it’s where I always go. I’ll credit Melissa tears on this reference that she goes of her. Yeah, that, that she goes, You know what, Jason, I still haven’t launched my book.
I’m like, Yeah, you’ve sold more copies of yours than mine, . Yeah, so it was just the energy speaks for itself. Well, I go back to of all people, Steve Martin, who wrote in one of his writings, the fur was in one of his interviews, perhaps that here’s a business model just becomes so good they can’t ignore you.
There you go. And that, that is a model just like anything else. And we can have that balance because as you mentioned, there is that moment. This is my one. Dipping the toes into anything. Law of attraction. Yes. But you still have to let the universe know you’re there. Mm. So you, you started, you opened up this group and I’d imagine the group originally wasn’t necessarily to quote, monetize it and invite people in as clients.
Oh no. It was for therapy for myself to find my fellow people. , all the same. I was running a local meetup event for people who were local hypnotist as a practice session, and people wanted to keep zooming or at the time Skyping into the meeting. And that’s what launched the program that we’re on right now, a few weeks away from episode number 300, almost seven years in.
Wow. So to recognize where. Exactly. You know, what’s the intention? Originally there were conversations I wanted to have and here was a way to have them and just, you know, several thousand people get to listen to it every week. Nice. And we get to have cool guests like this one. . My beliefs are very fluid. I like to think that there’s angels or you know, helpers, invisible helpers kind of guiding us along the way because it seems like when we look back, our lives make sense.
On the journey. The metaphor I I see is that we’re driving on a winding road in the dark a lot of the time. Yes, we’ve put in our gps where we wanna go, but how we get there is often a surprise and, and I think guided along the way. I think that was a metaphor to explain another metaphor, and that was beautiful.
I do love a good metaphor, . I’m, I’m very visual. I, I think in pictures, I, uh, it reminds me of, uh, the Temple Grandon movie. I do feel like I’m on the spectrum, although I’m not officially diagnosed. I do think in pictures and metaphors. I will make this story extremely brief with one sentence, which was that a therapist one time said to me, Yeah, but it’s working so damn well for you, so keep it.
I’m like, Thank you. Okay, . Sure. So then looking at that world, if someone were to reach out to anyone in this audience, and that was part of the story, what do you think they should be aware of? What should they go into that session as? As an assumption perhaps? Like, are you asking if someone who grew up in a similar cult as mine wanted to have a session with me, either with you, or let’s say they were reaching out to another hypnotist listening to this program, what, what are some of the things that we should be aware of going into that?
Well, not all hypnotists and hypnotherapist are created equal . Mm-hmm. , you know, if they offer a free consult, definitely take it and find, find someone that that fits you the best or who understands you the best. Yeah. Rapport is such a huge percent of healing, I feel. Yes. So that, that is a big thing.
Basically, I want them. I was curious for the practitioner, so now it’s the hypnotist. Now they’re on the receiving end of this call. It’s a client. Oh. What advice would you give to the practi?
Well, a good hypnotherapist wouldn’t try to change someone’s mind or be judgemental or anything like that, so doubly so for someone who’s been in a cult , I, I love that as the point, and I’m riding a fence right now because again, I was careful earlier to go, I’m not calling the Amish a cult , and, and to make sure that line is set up here.
If this is where, again, your belief systems may be different from your clients, and let me go full spectrum on this as to the client has a different religious belief system than I do. Mm-hmm. , and chances are that’s not why we’re working together. So that’s not the factor. The client, a lot of people in the hypnotic profession have strongly held opinions against.
Alcoholics anonymous, and yet they’ve not really looked into what the group is and what it actually may serve for them. And if it’s the client who’s in front of you, whose life has changed as a result of that, how dare you put that down, which, let’s call it out. Simply not any one specific thing is gonna be a match for every one individual person.
The same as what’s the, there’s a self. Group that I am blanking on the landmark form that again, I’ve had clients come in whose life was completely transformed because of that. Mm-hmm. and others who came in celebrating the fact that they had left. And we can take these same nuances and if the old story.
Was whatever. It comes back to exactly what you said going into that session without judgment, going into that session, listening to the client and hearing what their goals are and working towards that common shared outcome. Hmm. Well, I work with all faiths and beliefs. I tend to think that nobody has the exact same beliefs as another, even if they think they do or to go off of a parts therapy model.
At the end of the day, we’re all basically moving towards the common shared outcome. We just have different ways of describing it and getting there. Yeah, well there’s so many commonalities with all of the religions. You know, most people in these various religions are kind and, you know, wanna help their neighbor and believe in love, et cetera, et cetera.
And then there’s always the tiny percent that are like fundamentalists, extremists, you know, in, in all religions. And I think there are some mental health disorders. I think my dad has one . Well, that’s, that’s a very deep hole to climb into, but, Well, I mean even, but even you mentioned that, you know, here’s the client who’s coming in and they’ve found you because of the similar backstory in the awareness of that world.
But I’d imagine there’s even the occasional person who is the ex cult member. And yet now, yeah. Can you help me with weight loss? Mm, yes. There may be some emotional things to address. But there does come the point of the, uh, being drawn to the good, healthy things and cutting out the bad behavior.
Oh, so much to be said, . I don’t really work with people coming for smoking and weight loss. That would be a good marketing strategy because people are more aware of their physical issues than they are of their emotional, mental issues. But at the same time, I really feel a strong pull to market myself as a, as a trauma therapist, I’m an empath, and to me that’s a superpower because I’m able to enter their world and get into their inner landscape and kind of adapt their beliefs for that hour or two and able to help them use their anchor or.
You know, like if it’s Jesus, I use Jesus, or whatever their belief system might be to help them or their safe place or person, or lack thereof, . And like I said, half the people that I work with, it’s the lack thereof. And so to really show them that they have a higher self, they have an inner wisdom, they have, you know, resources that are inside of them that they just need to become aware.
Uh, to become empowered. Amazing. This has been great, and a conversation that has never happened on this program, and so good. Excited to hear 300 episodes. Really. I know, right? So how, how can people get in contact with you? My website is www.chanteln.com. C h a n t e l l e n, . And on there, You’ll find everything you need to know.
Most people on my social media know me by my mental health illustrations and quotes. Now I don’t draw them and now I don’t create these quotes, but they come to me and I share them and they’re, they’re fun. So I have the buffer thing, which allows me to put three on all of the social medias every day.
And I hear from people a lot saying that they enjoy that. So that’s a freebie. Also, I have bedtime hyp. Half an hour recording on my YouTube channel, which you can find on my website. I offer, uh, free consultation. So yeah, lots of fun stuff on my website. Yeah, and we’ll link to everything [email protected] and this has been fantastic.
So happy to have you on. Any final thoughts for the listeners out there? Yes. Keep following your heart song, which means follow what lights you up. That’s the path. Jason, let I here once again, and as always, thank you so much for interacting with this program, for being sure, especially this week, to join our free public work smart hypnosis community.
That’s where we continue the conversation that really the podcast opens. And then to have your questions answered, to continue the dialogue and talk about techniques in business. That’s why we’ve got that public community, the Work Smart Hypnosis community on Facebook. Uh, so we can find the show notes as well to get in contact with Chantel and once again coming up very soon.
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