Session #363: Connie Jo Holmes on BU2BFULL Change

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This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 363. Connie Joe Holmes on BU to Be Full Change. Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training. And outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette. You are about to listen to what I think is one of the coolest conversations we’ve had on this podcast.

I’ve known Connie Joe Holmes for quite a while now, getting to know her in various online forums and communities, and then, Getting to know her better, having gone through our programs, hypnotic business systems, as well as a member of our private influence Mastermind community. And one of the things that sort of sets apart Connie Joe Holmes, is that on one side of things, she’s very open and you’re gonna hear this dialogue in this conversation.

She’s very open about the fact that she has another career. And I wouldn’t even go so far to say that hypnosis is a part-time job for her. It’s really that she’s running two full-time businesses. One you’ll hear all about, all about in this conversation. And the other is the hypnosis practice. Yet looking at it from the angle of the question, how do we bring the audience to us?

Rather than us go out to the audience. So you’re gonna hear this incredibly insightful story about launching a meetup group and bringing that group into the online world and the interactions there inside of that, and really nailing from day one, the ultimate formula, not just in hypnosis, but also really within our businesses, Provide people with outstanding value.

Provide people with an incredible experience and then respectfully invite them to get even more of that. So you’re gonna hear all about that in this week’s episode. You’re gonna hear the story of her book, and again, this is episode number 363. So as always, you can head over to the show [email protected], session number 360 3.

That’s where you can find all the details for this week’s episode. And hey, for those of you actually traveling in or just arriving on the launch date of this episode, so, um, today for the 2022 IC BCH Winter Hypno Conference in Orlando, Florida. Hey Connie, Joe Holmes is one of our speakers, so head over.

Say hello and introduce yourself for everybody else, there’s already spots filling in for the 2023 IC BCH Winter Hypno Conference. We’ll link to that again in the show notes [email protected] slash 360 3. And while you’re there, you’re gonna hear in this conversation, uh, rather genuine compliment about the programs of mine.

Connie Joe has been a member of, We’ll put links to those in the details over at the, uh, show notes as well. But let’s make it simple. Head over to jason webinar.com. We’ve made it extremely easy for you to check out an on-demand free business training specifically for your hypnosis business. And, and I’ll call this out.

So often there’s webinars and there’s workshops online that are all from that sort of 30,000 foot view and just kind of talk and themes. This presentation is different. It’s called Six Steps to a Six Figure Hypnosis Business, and it’s where you’re gonna see me detail step by step, the strategies of six specific things that consistently drive the best business to even my practice, to this state that’s now entirely online.

We’ve made it easy for you to find. Go over to jason webinar.com. It’s on demand. Pick a time that’s best for you and start learning and start profiting today. That’s at jason webinar.com. And with that, let’s jump into this week’s episode. Here we go. Session number 363. Connie Joe Holmes on BU to be full change.

For me, it was first I became a certified life coach, and doing that was fabulous, but I realized that no matter how good I was or how willing the uh, client was, you know, sometimes we just have some deep seated, um, challenges. That was when I realized that hypnosis can really help with that. So shortly thereafter, that is when I decided, decided to get certified as a hypnotherapist.

I’d love to pause on that for a quick moment because that’s part of my entry into the networking world. Mm-hmm. , uh, which this is not a commentary about Chamber of Commerce or B nine, know this is a commentary about one person who looked at my business card that at the time listed couple of different issues and this was the greeting.

Oh, I see people for the same issues that you do. I would never send you referrals. , which is a great hello and. In the same group. Eventually there was a coach that was phenomenal and we sent people back and forth. I, I’d be curious to kind of explore this before we dive into hypnosis here. What would you say, let, let’s go to the positive and possibly even the setbacks.

Where do you see coaching excelling in terms of client issue? In terms of specific issues? In terms of specific challenges, Like where do you see that coaching fits in as a. Well, I have evolved from there. Um, but to answer the question as you asked it is, um, I use it a lot with helping people, you know, goal setting, that type of thing.

You know, when they have a very clear idea in their mind of something that they wanna do, really helping them to e out, you know, a, a process to get there. I am, I’m a . My, um, professional experience. I’m a little bit of a mutt. I’ve been all sorts of things, but at the end of the day, Classify myself as being a project manager, so therefore I’m very organized and detailed and planning and that type of thing.

So that’s where I really excel with my coaching clients, and that’s when I primarily use coaching. Yeah. So then there’s the strengths. Where were you seeing some of the limitations that then led to going into Hyn? I, I would say limiting beliefs. Yeah. Um, yeah, that’s where it was. And so, you know, we all know in this field that, you know, that’s where hypnosis can really, really help with those blocks.

And, and that’s, that was that turning point with this story that I was telling earlier because I just asked the question, What do you do when you’re working with someone and you craft the plan with them, but then they don’t do. Right. Again, let’s dismiss this example, but the response was, Oh, it means they’re not motivated.

I fire them as a client. Yes. Well, that means in my world, hallelujah. We’ve discovered the point of resistance. Now we get to uncover the blocks and do something about it. Exactly. And to your point with that, Jason, if this tells you anything, how quickly I did pick up on what you are saying. Um, I got certified as a life coach in May and then I got certified as a hypnotherapist in December of the same year.

Nice . And I’d imagine the process you now do, and it’s where far too often if there’s a limitation in someone’s training, They look at the, the conversation, the intake as to the assessment. Let me learn what the problem is. And the thought is, now that their eyes are closed, we can begin. And I’d imagine your conversational work is about getting the thing in motion and then using the hypnosis to then strengthen that, right?

Oh, without a doubt, yes. Yeah. So then walk us through some of that journey in terms of where the hypnosis began to fit into this world that you were then. Sure. Let me just think for one moment of maybe the ideal client for this story. You know what I’m gonna say? It was a client that I had relatively early on who came to me and she actually, uh, her and her husband, they wanted to move across country and living in Illinois and they wanted to move to California.

And so, you know, I first approached it like, you know, let’s develop a plan. What are the steps to get there? What do you need to do? You know, all of those things. And we were progressing, you know, very well with that. But then, You know, in came the limiting beliefs about, um, she was actually a graphic designer and so she wanted to continue doing that, but yet she was really, Dragging her feet, I’ll say, as far as like getting her portfolio ready and, and things like that.

And so, you know, at the beginning it was like, okay, you know, she’s busy, a little procrastination, that type of thing. But then I was able to quickly realize through asking the proper series of questions, that it was really a limiting belief. She felt like she was okay to do this type of work in Illinois, but you know, moving to California, she had a certain belief of the clientele and the type of work and stuff in that state.

So she immediately created a limiting belief in herself. So that is when I introduced the hypnosis to her, and I am very proud to say that, uh, you know, it, it took ’em, you know, a better part of the year, but they have many steps to do. But they ended up fulfilling their dream and they did move to California.

Nice. Nice. Yeah, I, I love that type of story where, you know, otherwise we just kind of sit back and go, Well, that’s the belief system. Yes. Um, I, I was in a chat last night with a couple of friends and other businesses and the, the catch phrase that someone used was, My friends think I’m arrogant cuz I act like I figured things out.

And it was back to that. It’s like, well, you know, it’s hard to do this. And he has gut reaction as like, I’m sure ours. Well, as long as you tell yourself that, that’s gonna be the case. Exactly. So coming from, when you said project manager, was that the career path you were in before or is that just more of a mindset type thing?

Well, so that is the position that I had for almost 20 years at the, My last organization. Yes. And then with my current organization that I’m with, I, I have a very specific title of family governance manager, but, but at the end of the day, it really is project management work as well. Got it. And for those that don’t know exactly what that is, can you give like a brief synopsis?

Of family governance manager or project, When you say, well, that as well as let’s say project manager. Yeah. Well, with the family governance manager, it, it’s really just, it’s a family-owned business and so, uh, it’s really kind of connecting the family in which are the stakeholders connected with the business of.

Of the business. And so really just, you know, uh, a lot of communication, a lot of event planning, um, engagement opportunities, that type of thing. But with project management, how I would say it, because you know, there’s many different ways you can look at it, but at the end of the day, how I would explain project management is there is project A that needs to be done.

And Project A is huge and has many different components to it. So, You have to pick it apart and realize what all needs to be done, when it needs to be done, what contingencies are there, what deadlines you have, that type of thing. So right there, I think in explaining that, you can see how that’s where I really do enjoy, enjoy working with those types of clients who have a big project that they wanna tackle and, you know, take all the steps from, you know, A to Z to get.

Yeah. Got it, Got it. Then, so in terms of then here’s that background. Here came the coaching, here came the hypnosis. What were some of those steps you began to take in terms of, let’s say, bringing in your first clients? Yes, so with that, you know, when I started, it was really just. You know, social media, family and friends, you know, that type of thing.

And, you know, it was okay, I was getting some people in, but I do have to tell you, um, and here’s a plug to you Jason along, you know, with many others. But I started to really seek out all of the beautiful resources that this community has. Um, so many people in this environment are just so gracious and generous.

Uh, give value, um, No cost or low cost, or even if there is a cost to something, it’s so valuable. And that is where I found myself going, really just educating myself about how exactly to frame my message, how to get out there. Um, and then once I do have somebody in front of me, how do I, you know, let them see the value that they can get when they work with me.

I love that insight that, you know, getting that message down, being clear in terms of what you do, and it’s the old scenario of the cart before the horse where I need more ads, I need this, I need, it’s like, no, we need to get the messaging right. So people have a reason as to why they’re coming to you.

Would you mind sharing what some of that approach is? What some of that messaging is that defines who you are and exactly what you do with people? Yes. Uh, you know, I’m really gonna say it’s my company name. My company name is b u to be full Hypnosis and Coaching. It is spelled awkwardly cuz it’s, you know, the letter B, the letter U, the number two, and then full.

But the reason I did that is because I wanted people, if they saw it, uh, or read it. Quickly that it could look like the word beautiful. Mm-hmm. . And also my message in something that I do with every single client is I really want to encourage that self-acceptance, that self love. Because when someone can show up as their true, genuine, authentic self to everything they do in life, they can live a fulfilled life.

And I always tell people, even if you’re trying to work, not, I don’t wanna say trying, I, that’s a word I no longer going to use. Uh, even if somebody is working to enhance a certain area of themselves, I want them to know that they are still beautiful as they are. All they are doing is improving yesterday’s version of you.

Is there, is there a story that comes to mind of working with someone that helps to really illustrate that? Yes, I, this is rather recently, um, I had a client who came to me who she lives with a narcissist and you know, you can imagine just the. Internal abuse really, that she, you know, she, she was, she just came as a deflated person.

Um, you could see it on her, you could feel it in her energy and all of that. And, uh, I really actually just spent, um, the, some of, some of the beginning time with her just. Building her up and letting her know, you know, her beauty inside and really finding ways to rediscover that in her. And then once we had that really beautiful foundation for her, then we were able to, uh, go in and reframe her, uh, negative emotions that she’s carried with her for so long.

Yeah. What, uh, what became the result of that, if you don’t mind? , she is a fabulous video testimonial, of mine. Um, and actually, you know, I’m gonna tell you, she, I’m actually working with a client right now that she referred to me. She’s actually referred, um, three different people to me because she just, it was just so wonderful for her and she was thinking about this before she came to see me because , this is not something I would always encourage at all.

But, um, she is in the process of separating from her husband because she just, Sees and, and has felt just how demoralizing and debilitating uh, living with this every day has been for her. Yeah, that’s, that’s that situation where we don’t want to be the one saying, You, you should do this. But it is the process of helping someone to make their own discoveries, make their own epiphanies, and, and that’s a hundred percent it.

And, and I kind of like, ooh, you know, I, I, you hate to reveal that part of it because you’re right. I would never encourage somebody to do that. I’m somebody who’s divorced myself, and I know it’s one of the very hardest things you can probably do in your life. But she was, her mind was pretty much made up, um, ahead of time.

So my job with her was really just to build her back up to her beautiful self. Yeah. Now you’re doing something that I love, which, uh, we had Nathan g on the podcast back on episodes three 50 and 3 51. Um, and many others fit into this category too, which is, you know, and I can be, One part guilty of this, but there’s this belief system that it has to be the full-time business.

Mm-hmm. . Yeah. That has to be the only thing that you do. And here’s Nathan who is on talking about how he’s a radio host and also does the hypnosis and both technically operate his full-time businesses. Here’s, uh, I think Rick Paddock on a bunch of years ago, um, who had a whole project about hypnosis as the side hustle.

Can, can you chat about what’s behind? Keeping both sides of things going and the passion that’s still clearly inside of. Yes, and thank you for asking that because this is a relatively new insight that I had, because I’m gonna be honest, I myself had a limiting belief around this for quite some time. So I am somebody, just like you said there, Jason, I have a foot in both places, a foot in a day job, quote, unquote day job, and um, you know, growing my own business and for the longest, Time, I was probably internally beating myself up a little bit.

Um, I was feeling a bit in lack. I was feeling behind, I was feeling inferior and, and really at the end of the day not feeling professional enough. And then I realized that that was quite limiting. And so then I decided, you know what? No, I’m going to embrace this for what it is right now. It’s not my full-time plan.

I, I do have a plan to, uh, be doing my business full-time. Very, very soon, uh, as a matter of fact. But, um, until I get there, I am embracing it because, you know, I look at this as I have extra money. I have mad Money , and with this mad money, I am putting it all back into my business. And so some examples of that is, you know, I am taking all sorts of training.

You know, yours specifically, Jason. Um, you know, the, the several things that you offer, I’m enrolled in those. I did a book writing class with Richard Non guard. I’ve just done a variety of trainings and that has been one. The training and certifications have been invaluable, but hand in hand with that, I am getting, I’m networking with all of you beautiful souls, but I’m also getting such a, a great level of exposure that you just cannot put a price tag.

And that really does, I, I had flashed to a conversation that I had that this person took offense to the statement because I changed his goals or suggested another alternative. But then came back a few days later and go, You know what? I thought about it. You’re right, because the phrase, and I have friends back from the theater career who are still actors and are modern era, uh, the Uber driver is like the ultimate in the safety job.

It used to be, you know, find a job as a receptionist, find a job as a waiter, and the fight would always be, get time off for the audition, and the actor could now turn the app on and. Drive . So to this guy’s credit, he was earning near six figures as an Uber driver. Mm-hmm. hated it, uh, and was going, I’m gonna quit this in March and that’s when I’m gonna launch my business.

I’m like, Okay. That’s ver, that’s variation number one. . Yeah. Variation number two is you have the most flexible thing that’s possibly out there right now. What would happen if you just reduced. And you know, we don’t need to lie, but we can be careful with language that, well, you know, my schedule is full.

Uh, though I do have openings on Wednesday and Thursday evenings and Saturday morning. Yes. And then maximize that. Then as that’s full, I have time available on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and Saturdays. What’s best for you? And then when that’s full, it might be time to make a decision. Exactly. And, and I do that.

That is my planned approach. I do have to share with you really quickly, so I, I am a person who I do. Take risks. Uh, one of the quotes that I live by is, why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is? Yeah. And Frank Scully, um, and I don’t even know who he is, but, um, I’ve seen his, his name, uh, associated with that quote, and I love it.

And I am somebody who normally, you know, I am a risk taker. But it’s funny because with this, I’m being very cautious and, and careful, and I know why. You know, it’s your livelihood and a roof over your head and all those things. But this is a, a, So probably about a year ago, my business was really growing and I was like, All right, I’m, I’m getting there.

I’m getting there. But then this past fall, every, Well, I’m exaggerating when I say everything because it wasn’t everything, but it really slowed down and I thought, what is going on? And it made me glad for a moment that I, you know, didn’t just jump ship. But come to find out, you know, if you’ve heard that phrase, God says either, yes.

No, or not yet? So I had my not yet moment because my husband actually got very, very sick. Extremely sick. We’re actually lucky he’s here. And uh, that all happened, uh, last fall, fall of 2021. And I was dealing with a lot and going to the hospital every day and things like that. And I thought, Oh my goodness.

This right here is why my bu to be full business slowed down a little bit. It’s because it, you know, God was telling me not yet, and then sure enough he’s home and he’s healthy and back to work now himself. But coupled with that, this is when I changed my attitude about my day job. You know, it was like, No, embrace this because I’m able to have an income on both ends.

I’m able to get all this great learning and networking and things like that, and sure enough, now my business is drastically picking back up again. So I guess I do wanna tell people that too, that, you know, like the ebbs and flows, there’s usually a bigger reason behind all of that. Yeah. I good to hear that.

He’s on the other side of that. Thank you. You know, we find these moments where in retrospects like, Oh, it’s good. That didn’t. And better to ask, What can I do with this? What can this mean to me? As opposed to, That’s why I don’t. Yes, and I’m sure you know as much as you know, we both can be the risk taker, it brings a greater level of attention to, Well, this is why I’m now going in this direction.

Correct. This is why I need to focus down and get this book out there and promote this because this is this message that I think people need to hear and it puts a greater intention to our actions. Mm-hmm. , I agree. Yes. Which you, I know that in addition to like self hypnosis, you teach your clients, um, you know, a bit more of a process around some themes around forgiveness and gratitude.

Can you kind of. Expand upon that sort of mode of teaching that you get into even with your clients? Yes, most definitely. And really this goes back to, you know, the self-acceptance and loving yourself and, and just remembering who you are, uh, to be fulfilled. So I actually talk about these three things in my book, many other things too, but.

In addition to teaching all my clients self hypnosis, at the end of our time together, I also teach them the very, uh, important detail of self-reflection. I believe it’s so important, even, you know, whether things are great. Uh, I always like to say whether it was a high, high, or a low, low moment in your life, I think it’s so important for everyone to pause after.

Significant events and reflect on it and reflect on your role, what went well, what didn’t go so well, you know, what can you do differently next time? Um, what can you repeat next time so that you are always just polished. Version of you, you know, just a polished individual and the best version of you possible.

And I think that happens with self-reflection. And then usually when somebody does self-reflection and really digs deep, there might be some forgiveness in there, , you know? Yeah. So more often than not, that would probably be when, um, you know, something didn’t go so right. But with forgiveness, we all know in this space, um, how important forgiveness is.

But I also wanna remind people forgiveness of. But within the business world, I guess I would like to say, you know, if somebody did decide to take a risk and they, you know, purchased something, you know, for thousands of dollars or something like that, but it didn’t quite pan out, ooh, that’s a big hard lesson to learn.

And yeah, that’s a low low, but you know what? The forgiveness of self and then also to flip that on its heels and to say, You know what, I just got a $5,000 education . That’s more than any college course could teach me, and I’m never gonna repeat that again. . And then lastly, just the importance of gratitude, you know, and, and gratitude even of using that, you know, negative example of maybe losing money in business, you know, gratitude, that you had that experience, gratitude, that you learned that early gratitude that that’s not going to repeat itself.

I, I really appreciate the insight you set around rather than frame that as that was a lost opportunity. Instead it was a learning experience. Mm-hmm. , I’ll make this as brief as possible, but I was at a marketing event years ago and Gary Vaynerchuk was a speaker and he did a q and a and. This is a fun little topic that divides our industry.

Someone asks the question, Should I advertise on Yelp ? And his answer was, I thought the best one. He goes, Well, clearly they’re still in business cuz they must be doing something right and there’s enough people that are happy with them that it’s still growing. How much is it can you afford to lose that?

Would it disrupt your business? How long have you been thinking about it? And yeah, the answer was it wasn’t that expensive of an investment based on the size of the business. And he goes, You’ve been hemming and hauling on this for a year. The micro investment is worth the macro learning. Oh, there you go,

Yeah, I was like, Oh, that’s good. Um, and it’s kind of shorted some of my, um, you know, sort of analysis paralysis. Yeah. Around the, Okay, well, software falls into this conversation. Oh, it’s got a 14 day trial. Let’s see what happens. , Right. Rather than, You and I may both know people who are in the category of, I’ve been working on this website, and they’re not getting the feedback as to what actually is working for them.

Uh, I love that clarification though. You said though, around forgiveness. Do you ever run into a hiccup of that? Even despite the pre-talk we give to forgiveness with clients? It sometimes people have a really hard time, if so. Horrific was done to them. You know, they have a really hard time about understanding, but that was just so terrible.

How can I possibly forgive? And, you know, so obviously those are probably the most challenging, um, you know, times to get through and to, you know, handle that with the pre-talk and hypnosis and everything. But, you know, really just letting them know that, you know, that, that forgiveness is for them. Mm-hmm.

and how it, and then I always reference, you know, the different books you know about, Having unstuck, unprocessed emotions stuck inside of ourselves. You know, the book, The Fear Cure, or uh, the Body Keeps the Score. You know, I always point to those and just say this, this is a real thing. And actually, you know what?

If you don’t forgive somebody, including yourself, and you end up getting really sick as a result of that, well then if you wanna take things as winning and losing, well that person or that situation just continues to win. Hmm. Yeah. That’s, that’s powerful. Yeah. To kind of keep the conversation going around, again, bringing in clients cuz what good are our methods?

Unless there’s people in front of us. Uh, you’ve done one of my favorite things, which is that of the question, how do we harness community? Mm-hmm. , how do we bring people together and provide value and let that organically navigate to the next step that you’ve been running. How long has the Meetup group been?

Just shy of two years. I started it right before the pandemic hit. Yeah. Which we’ll have to talk about how it maybe shifted Yes. In the midst of not gathering together, but can, can kind of describe the shape of that group and how that plays out. Sure, sure. Um, well, like a lot of things in life, you know, dumb luck is a real thing.

because I think it was February. 2019 that I launched this and I was, it was called Gather and it’s still called Gather and Gab and then learn self-esteem and uh, self-confidence. And the reason I called it gathering gab is because I was just gonna have it at a local Panera and let’s just grab a cup of coffee and let’s sit around and talk.

And then, you know, the pandemic hit. And then I immediately. Turned it into an online session meetup group and oh my gosh, as we all know, in this space, there’s such gold in that. Um, so that is what it is. So it’s online and it’s been going, like I said, just shy of two years. And I have to tell you, I have not done.

Anything to market this outside? Well, I, I, that’s a little bit of a lie cuz I just did, I just added it to my website. But prior to about two weeks ago, I didn’t do anything to promote this and I already have more than 900 members in this group. Nice. Right. . Yeah. So it’s, um, and so I have to tell you, so it has been, I, what I do specifically with this is one, I think I have the right key phrases and I’m talking to, um, the guru with that, with you, Jason

But I have the right key phrases, I believe in my title, and that is self-esteem, self-confidence, that type of thing. So I think that’s why through just the meetup algorithm and how. Feed and serve things up. That’s how I’m getting, you know, more than 900 people now. But anyways, what I do is I host it. It’s consistently the first Thursday of every month.

It’s 7:00 PM Central. It’s 90 minutes long. And what I do is I create a new PowerPoint presentation for every meetup session. I make it very interactive to, uh, you know, include people and, and all of that and make it interesting and. So I’ll do it a well no further. I pretty much do this consistently every time.

So I’ll do the presentation and I’ll go through a slide or two and then I’ll pause and I’ll just ask people to interject and you know, what’s your experience with this? And that’s been really great too. And I think that’s, I don’t wanna say, I think I know that’s why I have many repeat people month after month because they really like, you know, how they can contribute to it as well.

Anyways, Um, so I’m bringing them in. But the beautiful thing with this is really three different things. One, You can’t even imagine my library of ready made presentations. Oh, yes, somebody could call me and in five minutes I can say yes, I have a talk on that. If it’s within, you know, my space of confidence is what I’ll say.

So that’s a beautiful thing. The other beautiful thing with it is that, uh, my better presentations, I have created eBooks. So now too, I’ve got a beautiful library of eBooks and we all know the power of an ebook. And then the last thing is I am perfecting my presentation skills because every month I am giving a presentation.

So this is just a triple whammy to me. That’s fantastic that you’ve created this space where now you get to teach, you get to share. I love what you said there about the interaction. Yeah. Inside of it and anybody who’s listening who has seen like the live streams that I do, that was a lesson learned. The hard ways, like we need to involve the audience.

If it feels as if they’re just watching a thing, it might as well just be a static video on a website. Yeah. The strength is this is happening in real time. Let’s involve people. Let’s highlight a conversation. Let’s bring someone in. And especially yeah, using that mechanism rather than, um, waiting for this convention to open up, waiting for this event to respond to us.

No, we can create our own show. Mm-hmm. , Hey, let’s, this episode 363, there’s something to this , right? How has that, how has that been in addition to those benefits? How has that been in terms. Letting that become a source of people who then become your clients? Yes. And thank you for asking that very obvious question.

And I wanna say though, cuz that definitely is a benefit. I wanna preface this though by saying, when I came out with this meetup group, it was an opportunity for me to fully give. Back when my kids were little, I was, uh, the softball coach for my daughter’s team. I was my son’s Cub Scout den leader. Um, I used to be a, a big sister within the Big Brother’s Big Sister’s organization until she moved away.

So I, I’m very much, you know, always giving back and volunteer my time. But then I found myself a little bit at a law. Okay, I’m not giving back right now. And I thought about becoming a big sister again, and I will again one day. But I decided, you know what? I would rather take all of my training and my skills within coaching and hypnosis and give that back in a, a larger way.

And so that is why I did create this. If I’m honest and I have to be, cuz that’s who I am. I did in the back of my mind think, Ooh. But if a side benefit of me getting clients outta here, that’s gonna be wonderful. Now, and this is a plug for your program, Jason, because at the beginning, probably the first year, I was not assertive with.

Plugging myself or my business. I had a very , um, because I didn’t wanna come across as slimy or salesy or anything like that. I wanted to, you know, really give true from my heart. But what I’ve learned is I can still give from my heart, but yet still ask for business. That’s okay. . Yeah. And the premise becomes that if we, this is what’s missing for me, most people’s processes.

Um, I mean, we had , you might have seen this, uh, we had a moment where I had to post something in one of the private groups to go, Yes, hey, so this is not the space to. Say, Oh, I, I think I could help with that. Let me send you a message and then immediately go into an offer. Yeah. This is not the space for that.

And the fun part is, is if you had asked me instead, I probably would’ve coached you as to how to make the invite to people in a way that positioned you better, um, now. Oh, no. Um, but it’s the, and this is why sales gets a bad rap, unfortunately. Yeah. Why we often have this block around it. And a simple thing to remember is if you earn the right.

To make, and let’s change the word offer for invite. If you earn the right to give the invitation mm-hmm. , then there’s never a need to apologize or feel bad for the invitation. And you, I’m sorry, I, I did not mean to cut you off, but you did teach me that my, my hours of my headphones and my ears going about my day with you and my talking to me , you did teach me that, and that has made a huge difference with my meetup groups.

Yeah. And it’s where it’s, uh, it’s a big shift in people’s perspective where, let’s call it out. Someone is now signing up for you. Mm-hmm. and paying for a service as well as a product and what you share with them, and in this transaction that involves money. This thing that we’re now, let’s call it out, selling there.

I’m sure. Thanking you. Yes. Along the way. It’s like, oh wait. That’s right. Sales is service. As long as we fit the criteria that we’re helping to solve someone’s problem it. You’re a hundred percent right. And I chuckled myself because maybe in a former life I was a snake oil salesman or something. , Hang on, hang on.

I always have to give some defense here. Not that I think we fit into that category. But I think we owe snake oil a second chance. It might actually work for some stuff. Oh, you’re right, . Um, you know, let’s, let’s not throw it under the bus yet. You’re right, you’re right. . Oh, wait, that’s the cure. My bad. Yeah, exactly.

And oftentimes it’s because we’ve been on the receiving end as a quick anecdote, I, I draw a line, and I always clarify this, if I’m working with somebody one to one on a project of theirs, it’s like, here’s the. Coaching, rough definition is, let me help to guide you through a journey where you make your own discoveries and epiphanies.

Yes, yes. Consulting. Do it this way, . And it’s, it’s a dance between the two worlds. Uh, someone I’m working with privately now, it’s like, okay, so you have a company that adds your websites and they’re actually quite good from what I saw. Let me just make a quick video and it just became, Here’s what your navigation bar at the top needs to be.

Are you okay with this? Good. I’ll, I’ll make the video for you to send to your team. That way you can see it. Perfect. And that’s the full on consulting moment, but you’re, It’s where we’ve been on the wrong side. I had a moment where I needed consulting for one part of what I was building early on and it was just, Hey, you’ve already done this in another space.

Can you point me in the right direction as to what software, what things I need to be doing on a regular basis? I already have the video shot, I just don’t know how to do it yet. And the call shifted to a weird place to really pushy. Yeah. But what’s been holding you back? ? Um, I, Nothing, I thought of this yesterday and I finally hit the epiphany of how to release these videos.

And again, you’ve already done this in another field. Let me just learn from your mistakes and shortcut it. I’ll pay you for your time. Right, I hear that. But what’s been holding you back? Why haven’t you like and just, I found a polite way to exit the call. Oh. Which was fun. Three months later when we ran into each other at a conference and, and again, another world and he goes, I am so sorry about that self it reflected, Look at me.

It’s reflective. Cause it was the, that was the wrong approach. Yes, yes. As opposed to if, and I’m sure. Offer your invite at the end of what you do fits into a simple formula, which is you’ve shared a lot of value. and if they now work with you, you could help them do exactly what you’ve taught them to do faster and easier.

100%. And then the other thing that I learned from you is, you know, it’s okay throughout the presentation to tell wonderful stories because we all know that people remember stories more than a lesson or, well, I should say like a written lesson or something like that. But, um, in doing that, Then I’m also able to set, you know, remind people of the work that I do.

So I’m able to graciously and classy in a classy manner, be able to, uh, plug that throughout the presentation. And as a result, I, I really, now I’m getting so many more, you know, 30 minute strategy sessions as well as those strategy sessions turning into clients. Nice, and it’s, it’s about, again, giving value, presenting solutions to people, and as the rapport is appropriately there and you’re helping them to get some wins, here’s how I’m a resource.

Yes. Yeah, exactly. I love that. And especially, you know, having other ways for people. You and I were chatting about this before we jumped on and um, I shared the side note to go. Yeah. At the same time I agree with that. And I’ve always said those things though. Sometimes I’m the one to now play with the fact, I’m like, look, I teach this in my book.

It’s like 20 or 30 bucks on Amazon and when you buy it, I get three bucks . So, um, Check that out. . Yes, exactly. Which, you know, sort of takes away the sting of, oh, here’s the offer versus the, well, here’s the resource to check that out and get even more. Here’s this online training of mine that’s $27. You know, you’d spend four days to figure out how to do it, kind of.

Mm-hmm. , when just use mine, it’s less than 30 bucks. Exactly. And we can see where we kind of need to dance as to how direct we go. Versus, let’s just say this is the next step of this. Uh, so to look at where you are now, where here’s a book, and I’d love to get a photo of the book signing. Let’s talk about that.

When you, when you put the book out, you then did a book signing. Can you share some insights around that? Yes. So writing the book was wonderful and I did take Richard Non Guard’s, uh, 12 week book course, which if anyone’s sitting on the fence with it, do it , it’s wonderful. Uh, my 25 plus year dream came true.

Uh, I’m actually in the process of writing a series of Be You books. So my current book is titled Bu You To Be Full. Do you remember that from my business name? Right? Yeah. Um, the next one will be bu you to be Fearless and then be you to be enough and, and quite honestly, so I, I always believe a coach needs a coach because I was not, uh, Being disciplined enough to sit down and write every day without Richard’s course.

So I thought, you know what? I need to sign up again so I can hold myself accountable to writing every day. Um, but anyways, so all of that. So I wrote this book and it was fabulous. It was just, um, Oh my gosh. A tear filled day when it came in the mail and it was just wonderful. Um, I’ve received great feedback.

I think I have 37 beautiful reviews out there. Uh, they’re all five star, except I do have one poopy, uh, number one, but that’s okay. According to Richard, you need those that, that is. So I, Okay. I had 75 star reviews and. Forget if you were on the list when I did this for my book. It was like somebody out there had to have not liked something in this, like, this looks too good, someone leave like a three star review.

And someone did and brought up some decent points, uh, and wasn’t really critical, but you know, I was like, Give me at least something that shows it. And of course, I, I gave all these positive disclaimers to go, I’m not gonna be mad at you , I need something so it doesn’t look this fake. And as soon as I, he left it, I sent a text message, go, What the hell is this about?

Kidding? Yeah. That’s funny. Well, anyway, so yeah, so after I, I wrote the book because it came out October. Uh, and then, um, the following. So it was just this past summer, uh, things were starting. Let up within, you know, the pandemic and lockdown and all that stuff, and I just marched my tail end into my local Barnes and Noble, and I just confide.

Asked for the manager. And then when the manager came, I just confidently again stated that I am a recently published author and I am local and I was just inquiring if they, uh, do any local book signings. And she told me it was my lucky day because they just brought them back. Uh, after everything started to lighten up again in my area.

And within a month or two, uh, I was in a Barnes and Noble in Rockford, Illinois, doing a lovely book signing. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. How did that feel? Oh, like a dream come true. It was just, it was fabulous. And then, you know, and granted, I, at that event I did have, you know, more friends and family there than I did, you know, no new book purchasers.

But as Richard says, it’s, it’s all about the picture of you doing a book signing. The Barnes and Noble. You can’t pay for that . Let’s take the uh oh wow. Out of some things. That’s the benefit of the TED Talk is you get the picture, the book signing, you get the picture. Here’s the 20 minutes, I think. No, we have the screenshot.

Here’s the 20 minutes. I had number one in all of non-fiction. Forget categories, but no, all of nonfiction. But then 20 minutes later, I think Damon John from Shark Tank put out another book and that went away. Uh, . I am so glad to hear you say that because when my first, first, when my book first came out, God, I was out on Amazon constantly because I was doing exactly what you did.

Mine was never a number one, but it was, it was some pretty numbers to me, and I screenshotted the heck out of those. Oh yeah. Yep. , I think we still have is like the header on one of the Facebook groups. It’s like an older one, like it zero’s, 50 reviews. We’re higher now, but it’s again, got the image. Yep.

That’s what matters. Exactly. It’s why let’s, This is the theme that’s popped up. Like you mentioned with the meetup group. Those are now resources. Those are now assets. That might be something for sale, might be something as a resource. And like you’ve seen inside of, uh, hypnotic business systems around onboarding our whole strategy the last three years has been what is this person about to talk to us about?

How do we elevate their knowledge before we even speak to them? Mm-hmm. . And it might just be that phrase, Hey, let me share with you this quick video that I might answer some of your question. Plus the ones you haven’t yet thought to ask, and we send them a resource. Mm-hmm. . And as much as you know, we could label this is a sales training, it’s like, no, no.

It’s about building the world where we don’t have to sell, because people already see the value. The same as exactly what you’re doing with the meetup. And people organically elevate themselves. Yes, exactly. Well, and then at the end of the day, it just leaves my heart full, you know, because like anything in life, you know, you have quite a variety of individuals out there, and.

I, I can tell there’s a lot that might not, you know, be ready yet or feel like they have the resources to seek, you know, outside help and things like that. But I hang up these, you know, 90 minute sessions once a month, just feeling great knowing that I gave somebody, you know, a nugget to chew on until the next month rolls around.

Yeah, absolutely. So you’ve mentioned some incredible resources of yours. Where can people go to find. The Meetup group, the book, the You, where’s the best place to track you down? My website. And even though. My company name is Bu to be Full. I also, uh, secured a u url L, which is Connie Joe Holmes. Right? The reason I did that is because, you know, one, it’s my name and, uh, you know, if I ever decide to change my company name, I’m ready to go.

So I do anyone listening to this who has not done that yet, do it. But then also, uh, as much as I love my company name, having to say the letter B, the letter you, the number two, , I thought, Okay, no more of this. Connie Joe Holmes, and that’s Joe spelled the Girl Way, which is, uh, just j o um, so c o n n i e j o h o l m e s.com, right?

And my book is out there, uh, within my book. And so since we did talk about self-reflection for forgiveness and gratitude, these are all components that I do talk about in my book, and I do have, uh, downloadable. Worksheets that can also be found on my website if anyone is interested. Granted, I know people can write in a book and all that stuff, but I know I like to have that eight and a half by 11 sheet of paper.

And all of that so that those are out there on my website too. Awesome. Which we’ll put those in the show notes over at, uh, this is episode number 363, so work smart hypnosis.com/ 360 3. That’ll bring you over to the show notes. We’ll link everything in there. I will insist on titling this in some way.

We’ll chat afterwards with the BU to be full, uh, tagline, just cause I love that. But you’re right, it’s where we wanna make sure it’s easy for someone to find what we do. Yes. Which is where like years ago, it’s like, I’m gonna buy jason webinar.com. . Just make a point where it needs to go whenever Smart Something or jason download.com and to have a name people can spell I’m Envious.

Yeah, right, Exactly. Great. And I will sincerely thank you for saying nice things about the programs of mine that you’re a part of. Uh, I would also just simply highlight, you know, it comes around to a quote. That I love from the actor, comedian, and former podcaster, Kevin Pollock, that if you’re not creating, you’re waiting and what you’ve done in terms of the book, what you’ve done in terms of.

The meet up and that’s why things are going the way they are. And that’s something to be respected and be modeled. So congratulations for making all that happen. Any final thoughts for the listeners out there before we wrap it up? Um, well first of all, thank you so much for this opportunity, Jason. I sincerely appreciate it.

Oh, absolutely. I guess I would say, you know, cause I know your audience is, is a variety, You know, some are doing this full time, some are part-time like me, and so I’ll speak to my group if you will. And so the people who have one leg in both sides, you know what? Own it. It’s okay. You’re not inferior in any way.

Take advantage of having that, uh, extra money coming in and go out and, uh, certify yourself like crazy, Get more classes, all of these things. Because in doing that, you’re not only enriching your life and your knowledge base, but you are getting to meet great people. That’s one of the reasons why I feel I’m on this podcast today.

Um, but then also, uh, you know, the networking that you’re doing, um, all of that. The value is immeasurable to the price that you paid and feel proud of it. And then, and then one thing too, all of the, um, attention management that, you know, we have opposed to time management that we have put into having one leg in both sides here.

Um, all of that, once we do go full time, we are gonna be on fire because we know how to manage our time and our attention so brilliantly that just imagine what we’re gonna be able to do once we’re full time at.

Jason Lynette here once again, and as always, thank you so much for interacting with our incredible guests, especially those of you with us right now in Orlando, Florida at the IC BCH Winner Hypno conference. Or hey, interact with us next time around. We’ll put the details for the conference in 2023. Only so many shopping days left to go, my friends.

Uh, head over to work smart hypnosis.com/ 360. That’s the show notes for this week’s episode. To learn more about Connie Joe to check out her book and the programs that she offers, we’ll see if we can put a link in there to her meetup as well. And while you’re there too, check out jason webinar.com rather than guessing.

Rather than trying to reinvent the wheel. Learn six verifiable proven strategies to attract your ideal clients that have been found to work not just in my hypnosis business, but hypnosis business. All around the world. Seriously. From Australia to New Zealand, to Europe, to the uk, to Canada, to Brazil, to the us.

We often see people outside of our communities playing the game of, yeah, but that won’t work where I live. Uhuh. We’ve proven this stuff and hey, it’s a free on-demand workshop. Check it out jason webinar.com. Get out there, help a bunch of people and make it rain jason webinar.com. Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast and work smart hypnosis.com.