Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.
This is the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast, session number 353. Can you fire a client? Welcome to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast with Jason Lynette, your professional resource for hypnosis training and outstanding business success. Here’s your host, Jason Lynette. Hey, it’s Jason here and this week’s episode is gonna take a slightly different turn.
Then normal. Because if you go all the way back to episode number one of this work Smart Hypnosis podcast series, episode number one was all about something called the all positive pre-talk. And if you move forward, here was another episode about the all positive ego strengthening. Are you noticing a bit of a trend here,
And then even if you look at the videos that are on, uh, one of my main website, The opening message is that this is not a process based upon what’s wrong with you and how are we going to fix it. It’s instead about what’s great about you and how are we going to harness that and how are we going to put that into use?
Even better, move forward in time. All the way up to a slightly more recent episode that I co-hosted with Jess Marion, talking about secondary gain, where the premise was that yes, secondary gain is a thing that may exist, which if you’re not familiar with that concept, it would be that the client.
Unconsciously maybe holding onto the problem because there’s some benefit to be had by keeping it around. And I introduce these themes to kind of set the foundation for where we’re going inside of this episode, because the work smart hypnosis philosophy really would often say that you as the practitioner, are a whole lot more flexible with hypnosis than your client.
Mean, think about that statement for a moment. You have more experience with hypnosis than your client has . Therefore, shouldn’t you be the one who’s a bit more flexible in the work than your client? And the premise of this comes about because there is a bit of a dialogue sometimes in this industry of the resistant client, which by the way, all of your clients are resistant.
Absolutely. They’re resistant to change. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t need to be your client. However, resistance to hypnosis is something that yes may be out there. And again, go all the way back to episode number one. The all positive pre-talk. Look at everything I’ve ever taught around content marketing to really build the world where you don’t have to sell.
Instead, your content, your media does the work for you and you get to spend your time kind of in the world that I do, where you’re speaking only to a pre-sold audience in terms of your clients that you attract and bring into what you do. So do you notice a trend? I’m kind of stacking the deck. I’m sort of, uh, building this case for this very positive way of looking.
The work that we do, you know, and where this often may come from would be that here’s sometimes the sort of protocol approach to hypnosis. Here are these five, these six, these however many steps. Here’s the way that some techniques are taught as this is the one true model. And if you don’t use this, you’re not gonna get results.
By the way, that’s what we call marketing. And if you have someone in front of you and they’re not responding to that process, Some of these protocol approaches often would say that means the client isn’t ready. I mean, I heard in a workshop the other week if a client falls asleep, it’s a resistance strategy.
It’s an avoidance pattern. Um, maybe, but then again, maybe not. Uh, I can think back to when I was seeing clients in the evening, and here’s the person who runs their life kind of like me. I wake up most mornings at like five 15. In the morning, if not slightly earlier, and then turning off my alarm so it doesn’t wake everyone else up.
And what happens then is that’s when my routine kicks off of a little bit of time, uh, to kind of catch up with emails. I hit the gym once I’m awake, then come back, the family’s waking up, and then that’s our. Morning ritual. So maybe it’s avoidance, but then again, maybe they were just tired, cuz I’m lame and usually falling asleep by 9 30, 10 o’clock.
So I, I bring this up because again, I wanted to kick this episode off with a definite proof of an approach of positivity, optimism, in terms of the work that we do now that that’s out of the way. Let’s now talk about firing clients because I’ll give you the foundation before we officially jump in. I was back and forth in a series of emails, and let me just kick this off.
This person who was emailing me had a lot of nice things to say about the all positive pre-talk. Hey, go all the way back to episode number one, that as he said, I had a client the other day and I think I brought more problems into the session. With the pre-talk as to what I used to learn from hypnosis, so I’ll set the foundation from this.
I’ll, I’ll read his question. Jason, have you ever fired a client? I had a client for weight loss and I asked Why now, and the response was, I don’t know. I went through various strategies for weight loss and all I got was I can’t do that. It was frustrating to say the least. I honestly did not know why this person came to see me.
She was resistant from start to finish. This was the worst client I ever had, and it bothered me. However, I looked at the flip side of that experience and it taught me to rethink my strategies and humbled me in knowing that not all sessions are going to be great. Thus, my contact with you and why he actually signed up for one of our training programs.
If, uh, see, I want to be the best hypnotist for me and my client. Love this. I truly do care about each and every client that comes into my office. I thank you once again and hopefully remember what I said about I turn off my alarm. Good morning, everybody. Recording early morning on a Sunday , if you caught three notes of that, that is the sound When, um, the machine makes Peewee Hermann’s breakfast and PeeWee’s big adventure.
That has been my alarm for. At least 10 years now. I love that movie. Anyway, so back on track, editors don’t, don’t pull that out. So this week’s episode is all about answering this question. I changed the title of this to be, Can You Fire a Client because Yes you can. Um, really, we’re about to jump into how, uh, and just in the theme of all of this, I’m gonna be talking about several points.
You can check out the show notes for this episode by going to work Smart hyp. Dot com slash 3 53. That’ll bring you over to the show notes to find all the notes and details and the themes of this episode. And while you’re there, check out Work Smart Hypnosis Live. Dot com. Here’s someone I was interacting with who’s already working in hypnosis, but was seeing a need to refine their strategies and get better results.
When you join Work Smart Hypnosis Live, you’re getting access to my Hypnotic Workers program. You’re getting access to Richard non Guard, who’s a guest trainer on the upcoming event coming up in January. Then again, if you’re listening to this episode, well after January, 2022. We’ll always have another one coming around the corner, so check that out.
Work Smart hypnosis live.com. Half the audience are people who are brand new to hypnosis and seeking certification. Meanwhile, the other half are actually people just like this nice person and sending me a net message and sending me nice notes about previous episodes and joining our communities where again, looking to refine their strategies and get more consistent outcomes.
Check that. Work Smart hypnosis live.com. And with that, let’s jump directly into this week’s episode, session number 353. Can you fire a client? So first of all, let’s kick off with a classic sales principle. Satisfy objections before they arise. And one of the things that’s become a theme of the training that I do, whether it’s hypnosis training in terms of how to use this process for a personal change, or even whether it’s business training programs like hypnotic business systems, one of the big overriding themes that’s kind of evolved over the.
Is that the quality of the experience you have is often directly proportionate to the quality of the questions that you ask. So the other night, inside of the Work Smart Hypnosis Live online event, someone asked the question, Our online group sessions more effective than in person group sessions. And I give you this as a quick metaphor because my response was, You know what, I’m really not going to answer that.
And here’s the reason why, because if you change the question that you ask, you can get a much better answer. So if you’re asking the binary as to, is this one better than that one, it forces you to look for errors. It forces you to look for, uh, shortcomings and things that are just not good. If instead you ask the question, How can I make an online group session even more effective?
Now we’re looking for ways to improve and experience. Right now we’re looking for ways to make something better, and while this week’s episode is not necessarily on the moment of doing an online group session, though, there’s a story coming around the corner, especially on that, I would change the question to be, how can I direct the momentum of my session in such a way that now I prevent.
The, the problem situation. And I, I, I know the person who sent me this email, by the way, and I firmly believe he did everything right. And here comes one little bit of cynicism. There are people who go to restaurants looking to have a bad time. There are people who go into a hotel looking for, you know, something to be wrong.
And back when I was traveling around as the full-time stage hypnotist, I will admit. I, I can spend money when it’s time to spend money. I can splurge on a vacation when it’s time to splurge on a vacation. I can also enjoy the artistry of, um, not being frugal, but being absolutely cheap for the irony of the situation when I was doing corporate stage hypnosis programs.
The higher the. The more I had a delight as to what was the Crappies Hotel I could stay at . And here’s one moment, and I, I don’t share these numbers to boast, but here’s the moment where I was getting paid, let’s say, somewhere between six to $10,000 for what I was doing over the course of weekend for the event.
And I was at this hotel down the road for like $42 a night and the breakfast was like a box of those Nature Valley granola bars. You know, the ones that get all crumbly. And, um, that was it. That was sitting in the lobby and I’m looking at the reviews of this place, I’m like, well, I knew it was gonna be this, you know, low cost place.
Uh, there’s an anecdote around, what is it, some romantic comedy movie playing for Keeps, and I think it was Leonard Malon who had left like the only good review of this movie, basically saying, Look, I knew it wasn’t gonna be Citizen Cane, it was gonna be a watered down romantic comedy. And it would, could have some predictable endings.
And along the way I had that as my expectation. It had a few laughs. It delivered what I, what I expected. And I think he was the only major reviewer who gave it a positive review. I, I share that because again, there’s just some people out there that, you know, maybe this is the issue they ought to be addressing.
Let’s, let’s phrase it in a positive way. So going into the session, let’s introduce a theme of executive. Communication, which is a fancy way of saying make sure your instructions are incredibly clear. And by doing so, it prevents a lot of challenges. I mean, there’s, there’s a funny moment years ago, and this is my lecture on compliance proceeds, suggestibility, you need to have somebody following a specific series of actions before that can lead into suggestions.
The introduction to my arm lock testing convincer, which is not just meant to be a hypno stunt and work smart hypnosis live. We teach you how to take hypnotic phenomenon and turn it into an interactive change process and amplify the results because the outcome of the phenomenon now connects to the outcome of their change.
And the entry into this phenomenon moment is take your right hand and squeeze it into a fist. And I’m working with this guy. For the sake of today’s story, we’ll call him Peter, and I say to him, Peter, go ahead and take that right hand, squeeze it into a fist, and nothing happens. This is where again, and some schools have thought they would say, Oh, now he’s being resistant.
Now, Oh, he doesn’t want to do this now. I just repeated my instructions. Executive communication, I became extremely clear. I, I learned about executive communication, by the way, by looking at how people write SOPs, standard operating procedures for their staff, for virtual assistance for designers. The way that we have a whole checkpoint list of what has to happen.
When a podcast goes out, what has to happen when it’s time to update? Here’s an example, the Work Smart Hypnosis Live training when the last one sold out and we have to launch the next one, and sometimes it is this executive communication style of open up your web browser with Google Chrome because one of the softwares works best with that.
Open up these four pieces of software. Have this one as a checkpoint, and again, it’s step by step by step, and it’s where you’re going to feel like you’re micromanaging if you’re communicating that way. And that means you’re doing it right because you’re teaching someone the step by step of how to do it.
Let’s go back to Peter in the office chair for hypnosis. Take your right hand, squeeze it into a fist, and it doesn’t squeeze into a fist. I repeat the instructions again with a little bit more clarity. Go ahead Right now and with your right hand, that’s the closest to me. This was an in-person session.
Take your right hand, which is the closest to me, and move around those fingers to close it into a nice tight fist. And again, nothing happens. And it’s at this point, remember, the hypnotic state is not as delicate as you would think it to be, and I simply say, Hey Peter, go ahead and open up your eyes. And he does.
Oh, he followed that one. What’s up with that hand? I don’t know. It’s not working. Hey Peter, some things are just instructions. So looking at your hand now, uh, go ahead and squeeze it into a fist. And he squeezed it into a fist. Awesome. Great. Now close your eyes back down. Now, by the way, it was all done in a friendly, kind of playful way, and from that point forward, the rest of the session went.
Exactly as planned. So recognize there may be some moments where, this is my approach, this is my internal dialogue. This is the negative that I allow myself to go into in a session. Meaning of the communication is the response that it gets. So if something doesn’t happen as planned, what it really means is that I did not express the instructions in such a way that now this person will understand what I.
Which means it is then my responsibility to phrase it in a better way to get that desired reaction. So this is a different situation than the email that I received, but I wanted to share that as a nuance because sometimes you might just have to slow down and give another specific set of instructions.
Used to be in the Washington DC metro area up in Northern Virginia. When I was up there, majority of my clients were people that English was not their first language. And recognize. Sometimes it’s just a need to express instructions in a very literal way, and once you’re in sync, once you have that MEChA, this is the balance in my mind between the element and the ericsonian style.
Once I’ve began as the mechanic, and then I can transition over to artistic, then we’re in sync, then we have rapport, then the process is in motion, and I can do that. Now, this is by the way, A big reason why I’m a huge proponent of something that I now call the Velvet Rope Strategy. Uh, you can check this out.
I’ll plug it here cuz it’s just a $27 mini training. You can find it [email protected] Because in many cases I’m going to prevent the challenge even before it arises. Part of my story is that yes, there are people who edit my websites, create my graphics, uh, the incredible team over at Podcast Network Solutions, who edits the sound of this and makes me sound better, that I actually am, uh, video editors and, uh, even at times bringing on other people to, uh, run segments of my business.
So I bring that up because the opportunity to get on a call with a client, I still do that myself. However, given the range of clearly that seeing hypnosis clients is not the only hypnosis thing that I do, I have not yet outsourced the one-to-one conversation, the consultation of the client coming in, however, We have made use of the incredible gift of technology and the ability to duplicate myself.
My clients now watch a video, which is admittedly a little longer than it ought to be in. That was an intentional choice because I wanna work with the die hards who are sold on the fact that Jason Lynette is the guy to go to, and we use video to educate and inform and bring people into my world. Then they have to go through a couple of steps.
One of which is answering a few questions on a calendar application, which makes it so, again, there’s some ethical and literal hoops, not literal, uh, metaphorical hoops, literal hoops. That’d be an interesting hypno process. We need to buy hypno hoops.com Anyway, uh, so the opportunity, don’t, don’t put that link in the show notes.
We don’t own it. Someone’s gonna buy it now and point at something, but by having people have to go through some hoops, I will say this, this type of situation with the client from this email is one that admittedly, um, maybe one gets through a year. Even that, and that’s part of where the whole Velvet Rope strategy came from.
And, uh, I’ll reference some people who have said some really nice things about this over the years, but I’ll just reference them generally here. Here’s people who say, again, I’ve weeded out the problem clients. I’m now only speaking to people who have paid me in advance of talking. This is one of the best things you can plug into your business.
I’ll directly plug it. We don’t tend to do a lot of direct sales here, but hey, it’s $27 velvet rope hypnosis.com. Go there, watch the video, get it. You’ll see why it can transform what you do. I bring that up because this is how I weed out this type of problem situation well in advance because the person who’s not gonna answer my questions on a form is very likely the person who’s coming in looking for something to criticize, looking for something to.
So notice, by the way, the whole first half of this episode has been how to prevent this issue because this is your best situation. This is your best way to not have to deal with this. But again, one may come through over time. Let me share a bit of a high level influence principle that I’ve used for years and just recently we slapped a name on it because by doing so suddenly now we all can talk about it.
I call this epiphany. Seeding. So epiphany as in a discovery that you make and seeding as in like planting seeds. Here’s what epiphany seeding is. This is where on the call, this is the opening chapter to my work Smart business book. It’s all around the theme of what if every reason why this has been a problem could instead become every reason why, quote, I’ve got this.
This is going to be easy. That’s the formula behind epiphany seating. And like a good coach, I’m not gonna drop into consultant mode and say, Hey, because of that situation, you can do it differently. Now I want it to be their discovery. I want to ask a question in such a way that it begins to shift that thinking, and they can see the problem now as the solution.
You know what? I’m curious because you keep mentioning that you’re in this house and you’ve got teenagers who are bringing junk food into the house, and your husband likes to swing by the donut shop on the drive home and have them all in the morning, and you’ve said that because that stuff is in your house.
That’s every reason why you have to eat it. So far, this has been pacing. I’ve been listening to them and I’ve been feeding back what they’ve said to me. I’m curious to ask you a question just to see where you take. What would happen differently if all of those things that are gonna be in your environment, at least in the meantime, what would happen if all those things being around you could instead become every reason why you don’t have to eat that stuff anymore.
What would that be like? What would that give you? And this is a, you know, a chunk up question looking for the bigger value based statement. And I’ll, I’ll call it out. I only work with those people who could answer those question. And most often it gets the easy response of, Yeah, that’s what I want, or That’s why I’m calling you great.
Because that’s what this process is about, because it’s not the situation that’s the problem, it’s the reaction to the problem. The same as the real mindset you ought to have if you’re someone who does any hypnotic change work based upon reviewing past events, whether it’s regression or a changing personal history or anything else.
Experience plus emotion equals percept. The event’s always gonna be what the event was. The perception is what we’re working on. So this is why in my phone intake, I’m asking this epiphany seating pattern to see if I can get that foot in the door that they can perceive the issue differently, and at which point if they don’t answer, After several iterations of getting to it, if I’m getting the story as to what this client session was, client for weight loss, and I asked why now?
And the response was, Well, I don’t know. Oh, I can’t do that. Well, what if the situations around you could become instead? Every reason why you can’t because the same way in may be the same way out. And this is where I may pull out a. Here’s the day that I had two weight loss clients. Both were retired, both were now looking to lose weight, and for one, the fact that he was retired was every reason why he was ready.
And for the other one, the fact that he was retired was every bit of cognitive dissonance as to why I don’t think this is the right time to do this. The amazing thing was they both were losing weight in the process. You can guess which one was having an easier time. And for the second guy, I um, respectfully snapped one day to go, Hey, you know, funny story about the first day you came in, and this is where I’ll dip into story.
I’ll dip into metaphor to illustrate that one path could become the other path and I’ll call it out. I know at this point I don’t work well with people who can’t tell me what they want, their outcome. And I may often say that to them, My goal with this process is to help you get what you want, and I’ll call it out.
I’m pretty good at what I do. If you look around the web, and I say this without patting myself on the back, if you look around the web, I’m pretty good at what I do, and a lot of people agree with that. And the reason is I get the best results with people who can describe what they want and are ready to make that change.
And the people who can’t answer some of these questions, Respectfully, it’s a rather short phone call. That’s a magical statement, by the way, in a, in a consultation. Uh, it’s not a threat, but it is, you know, the benefit is if I ask this question and sometimes I don’t get the best answer, you know, respectfully, it’s a rather short phone call, which is not to say, you know, that’s a nicer way of saying, I’m gonna hang up on you.
No, it’s, instead, my job is to help you get what you want. So let me ask you one more. That’s how it’s been up until now. And here’s what you want to change. Why’d you call me and recognize in coaching the word why can often be confrontational. Why are you wearing that? Well, especially with that tonality, but this is where I’m intentionally going for the probing why question.
And if I’m getting the answers consistently as the, like this story as to, well, I can’t do. This is where, again, I’m gonna dip into metaphor. Well, you know, there’s a research study that was done in 1996, Irving Ksh, that was all about how here were people following a program and half of them were given hypnosis to reinforce the program.
And the people using hypnosis to reinforce the program lost three times the amount of weight than the people who were doing the program by themselves. So some other people out there try to market by saying diets don’t. and well, yes they do. If you actually follow them. Diets work. It’s people that don’t work.
So just outta curiosity, here comes another epiphany, seeding moment, just outta curiosity. What would be different in your life if that now the things you wanted to do became easy and you surprise yourself as to how well you could do them? I’m flipping the question. But I’m letting them give me the answer
I am not going into direct suggestion at this point because we’re not yet officially doing the work. This is a client interview. What if instead it could be another outcome? And if it’s at that point, I’ll call it out. And I only have like five examples of this, I think in my career. If I get the answer of, Well, that’s not gonna work either.
And, and I want you to hear this next phrase, and we’re gonna put this into the show notes. So, um, listen carefully. You know, it’s a rare concern when we find ourselves working on the process rather than in the process. And when that becomes the situation, I can see, I don’t think we’re a match to work together.
And I stop talking. I, I’m not a huge fan of the Takeaway sale. The takeaway sale is a strategy. We’re like, you know, take the car home for three days. If you don’t like it, bring it back. They buy the car. Oh, you’ve never had a puppy before. Wait for this one. Take the puppy home. See what your kids think about it.
Yeah. How’s that gonna go? Um, the takeaway sale would be, You know, when again, you’re into it now and they want to invoke some fear that you can’t have it. Um, I, my, my car buying stories are very lame. Um, I’ve never gone for the sports car. We have the minivan and, um, I’ve only bought one new car in my life.
Uh, and actually I had the plan to buy a used one, but there was a tax credit on the one that I have now because it also plugs in and then reverts to being a hybrid. Suddenly it was like less money with the tax credit to buy the new car than the three year old used one, which I had planned on. Uh, which I broke their sales process by going in and saying, We’ve already approved the loan.
Um, I’m already on board with this and I’ve brought my children with me. And SpongeBob goes off the air in your lobby at 10:00 AM Can we be out by then? and it was just this back and forth question. Well, you know, if you don’t wanna sign everything, I’m like, You can’t do the takeaway sale on me, cuz I’ve already signed everything.
We’re just ironing out the details here that I, that’s the takeaway sale. I want this moment to be the takeaway. It’s a rare concern when we find ourselves working on the process rather than in the process. And when we fall into this kind of pattern, I can just tell you this is not the type of situation that I’m able to help.
And I just stop talking because I want them to be the one to respond next. And respectfully, if it’s that, Okay, well what do you think is often the response that I got? You know what? I’d rather do this, take a couple of days. Think about it. It’s Thursday right now. How about I give you a call on, you know, Tuesday or Wednesday, and can I give you one suggestion?
Yeah. I want you to think about this conversation every day between now and when we speak. Think about the reasons why I told you. This is the type of situation I’m not able to help with the best, cuz the people who come to me and say, This is what I want, this is why I’m doing it now. This is why it’s important to me.
Those are the stories you read on my website. Call you on Tuesday and I’m exiting the process. So again, most of my answer to this. Avoiding it by clearing it away before it ever occurs. Now, let’s dive into their, in your space. This is where it gets fun. It’s gonna be a similar language pattern. You know, it’s a rare concern when we find ourselves working on the process rather than in the process.
And part of this is I’m giving you instructions and you following them as part of it. So this is where when I run into a conflicting moment, And I’m gonna defend this strategy here in a moment because the way that I first learned this, I think, is entirely wrong. But I, I thank the lesson of learning something that I passionately disagree with, uh, helped to create something better.
So let’s not discount the past lesson. Let’s instead improve it. And again, rather than put it down, well, how can I make that better? This wasn’t in the hypnosis industry. This was someone’s training program about how to. Online courses and he said, you can offer a hundred percent guarantee and a hundred percent refund policy.
And then he taught a strategy. Some of you’re gonna cringe as soon as you start to hear this, that they can get a refund, but they have to send you their workbook fully completed. They need to send examples of the marketing that they’ve done. And they need to burn that to A D V D. This is dating the story and they need to send it to you by certified mail.
So basically this person was, what’s the term? Being a jerk and making it damn near impossible to do that. When we’re in a social media world, if someone’s not happy, I’m gonna over deliver and reset the process if it’s like a, you know, product or something, and then give them their money back and position myself as the hero.
I learned, uh, a more positive strategy from Jeffrey Ronning, who was stage hypnosis center.com. We would film, uh, show at a high school and then sell DVDs of it and split the profits with the, uh, fundraising group. And someone would go, cuz it was the camera in the back of the room of the gym and sometimes it wasn’t the best sound cuz of all the echo.
Even if I was wearing a microphone and I’d get the complaint like once, Actually one time I used this, which was that the sound quality was really horrible. I responded, Hey, sorry for that. I’ve gone ahead and I went in and I refunded the $20 you paid. However, I’m still gonna make sure the school gets the half of that.
That’s on me, and I have your address. I’ve gone ahead and I’ve mailed you another copy of the dvd in case it was a technical error. It wasn’t because a DVD is gonna be a dvd, it’s gonna be the same thing, but this way it was the. Situation of absolute transparency. I was the hero. I gave them their money back.
I still gave the donation to the school, and I still, you know, sent over another DVD of it. If the story ever was told to anyone else at the school, it was that, wow, this guy’s the hero, even though the second DVD sucked as much as the first one. That’s kind of this. That’s kind of this situation of transparency I want to come from.
So I, I, I don’t like that thing that I learned as to, you have to do all these things to prove you did your part. It’s up to you. And that was, again, in the context of an online program. So I bring this up here though, because the adaptation of it became, it’s my job to bring my client back into the process.
So I’m gonna teach them stuff. I’m gonna give them things to do. A, and this is where I’ve said, you know, in the moment where someone hasn’t achieved what they’ve wanted, they’re very often not blaming the hypnosis. A and my whole category of resources is in the world of self hypnosis techniques you can do anytime, anywhere, and no one knows you’re doing something.
So you can’t say to me, I didn’t have time to do that, because you could be doing it right now and no one would. That’s the whole approach. In terms of my approach to self hypnosis strategies, it’s a lot of anchoring. It’s a lot of what I call organic anchoring, which we’ve done episodes on that before.
It’s one of the things we teach in the trainings. So I’m building the scenario where it’s so easy to win, and if it’s the next week, and again, we’ve got quote problem client. Now we’ve gotta highlight, you know, now we’ve called out one part of the issue. Hey, this is a thing you could do on your own without anyone knowing you’re doing it.
It doesn’t even have to be scheduled. Um, can I ask you a question? Was the goal to come in and give a stranger thousands of dollars to then not follow the steps of what they say? And I, I go into a place of just confusion. I, I go into a. Of putting on an attitude of confusion rather than accusation that’s gonna serve you so much better.
You know, cuz I’ll call it out. The people who you’ve read the stories of, those are the ones who made use of what I shared. You tell me is, is there some other stuff going on that I should be aware of? I’m going to self blame again to sound familiar. I want them to have to defend themselves. Is where I’m going here.
Is there something else going on that I should know about? You know, you tell me. I’ve got other projects I could be working on. I mean, this is our second session. Uh, if you wanna stop today and restart this when it’s a better time for you, you know I got other stuff I can get done today. You tell. And I, and I’m putting this to a place where, again, epiphany seating is really the theme of this week’s episode.
I want them to have to defend themselves. I want them to have to rise to the occasion because this is where it gets real. A and let’s call it out. This is probably the pattern as to why there’s still inside of their issue. If it’s something habit. And I might even epiphany seed that question. Do you mind if I ask a question?
This is all softeners. Do you mind if I ask a question? And I’m careful to ask this because I never want to be accusatory, but some of you know, the, uh, agreement frame where they say, Don’t use the word, but because the word but negates what you just said. No, no, no. My friends. Here’s the, um, this is gonna be the second quote that I’m hopefully known for after.
The more we’re all successful, the more we’re all successful. Here it is. Choose your butt wisely. How about that? Let’s put that on T-shirts. Uh, choose your butt wisely. So I never intend to ask a question to become accusatory, but. Do you think that some of the reasons why we’re having some conflicts here might be part of what’s behind why you haven’t yet done this on your own?
And I’m choosing the right tone because again, we, we did an episode, one of the episodes they did with Scott Sandlin was based upon, uh, student who sent in a story as to, they tried to use the phrase, Well, how’s that working? And they completely lost rapport because they had not yet built the rapport to be able to ask that kind of question.
So this is where I’m gonna go, Uh, confused. I’m gonna put on the act of confusion. I’m gonna go to a place of concern and I’m gonna ask a question and become accusatory, but tell them I’m not becoming accusatory by using the softener A. And this is where, again, what am I doing here? My number one goal is for my client to become successful.
That’s good for them. That’s good for me, that’s a win-win situation. So do you see how, I’ve been talking now for around little shy of 40 minutes and all of this episode has been about inviting my client to rise to the occasion and then elevate themselves and shine a spotlight perhaps on where the focus ought to be and to, you know, Make it real.
The um, I’ll censor myself here the blank, or get off the pot moment because that might have been what needed to happen to get the change in motion. So I’m creating every opportunity that I can for the person to succeed now that we’ve got all that positivity in place. Let me now finally answer the question.
Jason, have you ever fired a client? Yes, I. And the way that I do it is, again, back to the story. Thank you to Jeffrey Ronning for this lesson as to how to satisfy the moment of the DVD wasn’t to their success, which again, 20 bucks proceeds went to a school. I became the hero. Don’t worry about the money because genuinely I was earning enough on the other side that this little bit of a hiccup smooth it over.
And that’s how I went back to, there’s one school that I did that at and the principal called me up. You can imagine the hairs in the back of the net going up at first going, Hey, I got a call about someone complaining about the DVD of your show. I was like, Oh, great. Um, and I heard how you handled that.
Man, that was classy. Hey, could you do something for our faculty in July, ? You see what happened there? I booked more stuff because I was the hero of the story. This is my situ. Of having to do this, and I can think of now only a handful of moments where I’ve done this because my office forms say that you are paying for time, you are paying for my expertise, and it’s your job to show up ready to make these changes and ready to follow my instructions.
And it’s my job to put together the best resources I know available to help you to make that happen. You know it, it’s putting the ownership on them where it ought to be. . So that’s the attitude going on. And my forms do say, uh, no refunds, you know, and that’s put out there, and they sign off on that at least twice inside of the office forms that they complete now.
So in the moment where I need to fire the person, I become the hero. I go to a place of absolute transparency because I want you to hear this next statement in the most healing, loving, caring way that I can. I don’t want them to leave the experience blaming me. I respectfully, there’s a fun modifying word if you’ve caught it.
I respectfully want it to ruin their day that I dismiss them, but I want it to ruin their day in a way that now they see something’s gotta change. And it’s done from a place of care. Here’s one story of, let’s call it out. Your pre-talk is only as good as they actually listen to it and integrate it. So here’s a client who watched my pre-talk video for Stop Smoking, and they would watch it in my space and she calls up and, and I mean, you’re all gonna smirk at this.
I don’t think the hypnosis worked at all. I heard every word you said, and I was able to pick up cigarettes and still smoke. And I had to ask the question, Did, did you watch that video? I mean, you were in the room and I got this response. Check this one out. Well, I had an important call come in. Uh, so I moved to the corner of the room and I took the call during the video, Come on, people
And I said, Well, let’s do this. Because again, I use the phrase it’s only as effective as someone actually observing it. So, um, do you have a bit of time? Good. I’m gonna send you something over. Can you watch it again? Because I’ll give you an extra session on me. I’ll be the hero here as my internal story.
I, I’ll give you the session again, but you need to watch this and then let’s actually do it. And then we talked about it and did the session. Well, it still didn’t work. I heard every word you said and I was able to pick. There’s a whole theme of, that’s my pre-talk. There’s a whole theme of nothing is physically stopping you wait for this one.
I refunded. I, I did a series of actions to go for the respectful shock and awe. Timing was critical for this. In the series of one day, she received a gift. In the mail from Amazon, Alan Carr, the Easy Way to quit smoking, I bought her a book. On top of that, I sent her a thank you card by regular US Mail. I refunded her money, every dollar of it, and I sent her an email explaining why it had been a problem up until then, and the language was not, I can’t work with you.
Or if you’re not gonna follow my instructions, man. It was instead, my goal is to make sure you’re successful at quitting smoking. And it seems that some other things are grabbing your attention and politely, it seems like you’re not yet making this a priority that it deserves to be. So I’m completely resetting this process, giving you some resources to take a look at.
And when you’re ready, I’m here to help. This is how I do it. Cost me what, 18 bucks on Amazon. And I’ve done this in other categories too. You know, in my forms I ask for a physical mailing address and it does say, Check here if you give me permission to send you correspondence by mail. So that’s how I had the info.
And again, I’m gonna exit the process. Never rude, always from a place of care concern, appropriate confusion, which is an act, Let me call that out because it’s where I wanna bring them to the place where it’s highlighting something that, again, hear this in the most positive way. I want the person to go to the place of, Oh, it’s me.
I’m putting myself in a situation that that’s worth an $18 expense. And actually in this specific story, I’ve got two times that I’ve done this one in the story that I’m thinking of as I’m saying it. Well, the other one, she read the book and she quit smoking. And I sent her a congratulations card, , and left me a review somewhere online.
Uh, the other one, it’s Yelp, C, it’s not showing the other one. Six months go by and I get a phone call. I’m ready now. And it was a beautiful process. She sends me referrals to this day. So do you see how this is a different tone than where some people go at this? Let’s not blame, let’s not point the fingers.
Let’s use our hypnotic language hacks. Ooh, We should do something with that term too. There’s a Hypnotic Language Hacks podcast specifically for online business owners, Uh, . Let’s use our language. Let’s use emotion as a suggestion. To bring it to a place where we are in a no fault situation, we are positioned as the hero of the story and we are serving the person better.
And again, if that cost me a little bit of time and 18 bucks to do that, I’m alright with that. I mean, I had a person one time in a training. That, uh, into the story first sent me a nice message a few months, if not years later, going, Hey, I had some things going on at the time and I took that out on you, and I’m sorry for that.
And when we had to fire him from a training when I had to over a break, uh, eject him from the class, which same patterns you’ve already heard, I asked the question. So he fired himself. Uh, it became, look, you’ve already set aside the. Keep all the materials as a gift. You know, I’m gonna take away the access to the online stuff, but you’ve got these books, you’ve got these resources that’s on me, and you’ve already set aside this time to attend something.
You know, you’re local, so you didn’t have to pay for travel. But keep these as a gift and, um, hopefully again, someday we’ll do this. And haven’t seen him in person really ever since. And again, position as the hero. And what did that cost me? A little bit of time and maybe in that situation, 70 or $80 worth of books.
That was a moment by the way, that I had to keep the room positive because this person was creating conflict with other students. So I did have to use, um, a make ’em up. I do this with my kids, by the way, because they recently learned what fiction and non-fiction books are, to which I go, Well, there’s two types of books.
There’s, uh, non-fiction, which are stories that are true and make ’em up. Because there’s no words for, uh, books that are not non-fiction. And of course now they’re arguing with me going, That’s called fiction. I’m a good dad. I swear. Uh, . So I had to make something up. Hey, everybody is the end of the class that day actually.
Hey everybody, I’ve got cleaners coming in tonight. Which meant I had to clean the office. , Hey, I’ve got cleaners coming in tonight, so everybody please pack up all of your belongings and bring them with you. Don’t leave anything here because otherwise it might get thrown out or we might ne might not be able to find it.
So again, I’m gonna go to a place of positioning myself as the hero, and at the end of the day, I think I’ve only really processed refunds of this style. Less, and I mean, I’m going all the way back to 2005 when I was working in theater, and here’s a fun one. My first stop smoking clients were actors, singers, and dancers who were smoking to stay thin.
There’s a fun dynamic. That’s kind of where the confidence comes from now in the stop smoking work that I do. Dating back to then. So at this point, 16 years running in terms of client work, before that it was kind of, you know, a thing that was accenting a hobby of magic and a curiosity around stage hypnosis.
I think I’ve only done this less than 10 times in all these years, so less than once a year if even that. Um, and always making sure it ends on a positive note. So I wanted to give a little bit longer of an answer to this. I sent this, uh, person an email who asked this question going. I’m gonna answer you, but I’m gonna do it my way because there’s more to it.
I could just say yes and instead I want you to hear, first of all, how to prevent it, as well as how to make sure that if it happens, it ends on a positive note. We’re in a social media world and back to the story of the hotel. With the open box of the Crum Crumbly granola bars, back to the story of Leonard Morton, leaving a positive review for an okay enough, an okay enough romantic comedy movie.
I went online and I left a positive review. I highlighted what I expected it to be. I highlighted what it was. Even threw in a qualifier to say, you know, if you’re not too picky while traveling and you just need a place to sleep for a couple of hours and then get on the road, this is a great choice. If you’re traveling with family or you’re doing meetings in a hotel room, you know there’s other options in the area.
So can I give you all an action step? As part of this, which really I think this action step really has a lot to do for how we can start to prevent this issue, how we can improve others, how we can help other businesses grow, and how we can think differently in terms of what we do. And it’s not that I would tell you to go online and leave a review for something that I do.
But , okay. If you wanna leave it for me, thank you. If you want to do this for a restaurant that you like, a business, a service provider who’s done good work for you, let me give you an action step. In the next 24 hours, go leave a positive review online somewhere. Again, if you wanna do it for me. Thank you.
I appreciate it helps us to grow this program. I always mention the reviews, uh, in the, uh, you know, outro of this show, or again, if you just wanna put up a post online and say, Hey, um, my accountant really saved me last year when he helped with this. Or, Hey, here’s the person who answered some questions when I was curious about switching my health insurance.
Or, Hey, here’s this restaurant. That we all went to and they did a great job of making sure everyone was happy and they saw my kid was kind of upset about something and they over delivered. And um, this waiter was great. You know, go out there, spread some positivity. Because this really, I think, is the solution to how we, how we can begin to create a dynamic shift, not only in the hypnotic industry, but also in the world.
Go out there, find something positive, tell other people about it this way, we start to change that wavelength of people’s minds. So hopefully, You don’t have to fire a client. Jason Ette here once again, and as always, thank you so much for leaving your reviews online for this program. Sound familiar? Thank you so much for sharing episodes of this program and your ongoing conversations.
In this industry. That is something we never intended to become. What this program is now, that here are conversations in other communities, other training schools, and people are answering questions by sharing resources. Not only, you know, episodes like this that are. My stuff and my stories, but saying, Hey, here’s what Chrissa Marie Bowman said on this episode.
Hey, here’s what, um, Nathan G said on this episode. Here’s the Karen Gray episode, and she tells her story. So again, keep this conversation going. And again, head over to the show notes of this [email protected] slash. 3, 5 3. That’s where you can find the details of everything I’ve talked about, and I’ll mention two things at the end of this if this is a different dialogue than what you’ve already been doing as a hypnotist.
This is why we keep filling up our certification training with people who are already trained in certified Head over to Work Smart Hypnosis live. Dot com and find all the details of that event. If you’re not quite looking for the certification, if you’re just looking for the knowledge, that’s where you can go to hypnotic workers.com.
Hypnotic workers stands on its own, but some people want the guided tour, plus the interaction plus a cohost. This time it’s Richard non guard once again, as well as certification. That’s the difference between. Hypnotic workers.com and work smart hypnosis live.com And only because I mentioned it before.
Here comes the very bold direct sale look. It’s 27 bucks and over to velvet rope hypnosis.com. I, I’ll tell you that one strategy. Has prevented a lot of what I spent the last 45 minutes talking about. So learn that strategy, plug it into your business, get out there, help a bunch of people. Make it rain.
And yes indeed, choose your butt wisely. Thanks for listening to the Work Smart Hypnosis Podcast and work smart hypnosis.com.